


The Darkness in You Brings out the Beast in Me

by imaginary_witness



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternative Universe - Canon, Angst, Drama, Friendship, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Incomplete, M/M, Punk, Romance, Skateboarding, Swearing, Violence, Work In Progress, beastinme, darknessinyou, pleasurepain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-05-15 06:44:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 73,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14785472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_witness/pseuds/imaginary_witness
Summary: Murasakibara's developed a temper since he start at Yosen high. He spits, swears, and ignores those that annoy him. He would rather listen to his music than interact with other human beings. Was losing his best friend, Kise, or his middle school team what shifted his attitude? Or perhaps it was the loss of his red-haired captain, whom his young feelings for had not completely heal.





	1. The Beast Inside

**Author's Note:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort  
> Originally Published: June 19, 2014  
> Edited: June 30, 2018
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

**Author's Note**  (June 2018) **:**

 **This work has been edited.**  When I first published this story in 2014 (on fanfiction.net) , I did not expect it to receive the amount of dedicated readers that it had. I was not as experienced as a writer as I am now, and I was not very informed on some facts about the universe of KnB, (specifically the names). As a result, when I looked back on the story I felt it was poorly written and I didn't have the heart – or the time – to continue the story after a certain point (chapter 8). Now, looking back on this piece of writing, I feel it is unfair to my readers and unfair to the story itself to leave unfinished.

Originally, the story was meant to end at chapter 7, but because of the reviews I was receiving and the further I fell in love with the characters of the series, I began to have other ideas. While these ideas had been saved on my computer for the way the story will inevitably end now, at the time of creating these ideas, I did not have the time or means necessary to write the ending. Now, I have edited the first 8 chapters of the story, as well as finished it.

 **I want to thank all of my readers**  that had reviewed my work and reached out to message me and request that I don't leave the story unfinished; truly and sincerely your words have made it possible for me to continue these words, and I really hope that I am able to create an ending to this story that you will enjoy just as much as you have enjoyed the starting. Thank you – for reading, for reviewing, and always for witnessing.

\- Witness

 

* * *

 

**Chapter 1 - The Beast Inside:**

Tuesday, October 11th

 

The skateboarder crossed the busy city intersections, past the illuminated traffic signals, and flew down the crowded streets. Long hair danced in the rushing wind like the lavender banner of a medieval army as the skateboarder cut off cars, weaved in and out of pedestrians, and elected shouts of disapproval from both. He didn't seem to bother responding to any of their complaints, not even acknowledging them with a glance. Tuned into his loud, industrial music, Murasakibara Atsushi was safe in his own mind. He continuous glanced around to be safe, making sure his way ahead was clear, and continued on his way. The drums matched the very beat of his racing heart, the clashing guitars synched exactly with the very movements of his body, and the growl of vocals resonated with the voice of his subconscious.

Leaning slightly to the left, he rounded the next corner and continued on his way. When he had reached his destination, Murasakibara simply placed his foot on the ground and kicked the back of the board up and into his waiting hand. His long fingers grabbed the wheel-bar under the board and he tucked it against his side as he entered the small, crowded candy-shop. It wasn't warm or cool inside, but it contained an outrageous assortment of candies, chocolates, and other sweet delights packed on the various back-to-back shelves throughout the store. Murasakibara wasted no time in heading straight for what he was craving at the moment: the sugar-straws at the back counter.

Grabbing a bag, he filled it with several of the large straws before adding a large scoop of gummy bears, sugar worms, sour keys, gummy cherries, strawberry marshmallows, and grapefruit pieces. It was only then that he pushed his headphones off his head and onto his shoulders; the heavy metal music loud enough to still be heard faintly by anyone who stood close to him. The cashier smirked as the skateboarder grabbed a handful of lollipops beside the cash till and added them to the bag as the older man rang up his purchase.

"Really? I thought it would be more. Oh well. That's good I guess." Murasakibara murmured, then reached in his pocket and dished out the right amount of money onto the counter. He hated having to carry around a bunch of money, so he typically used the exact amount to get rid of all his change. Besides, that way he didn't have to wait for more change to be handed back to him.

At the door to the store, Murasakibara stuffed the bag into the large back pocket of his overalls, boarded his skateboard, and was flying back the way he came: through the crowded streets, past the tall proud walls of Yosen High School, and towards the house that was now what he was supposed to refer to as his home.

Moving to Akita and starting to attend Yosen had brought out the worst in Atsushi. He was no longer the high-pitched, nasally, geeky, tall-kid that he was in middle school. He had worked twice at hard in weightlifting, deciding to make the most of his large frame, and had toned himself to an image that made any athlete in their right mind jealous. He grew his hair longer and sliced the ends of it with a razor, creating an intimidating style that he could choose to ignore the world with by wearing it in front of his face and obscuring his violet eyes, which he now rimmed with jet black coal every day.

And it wasn't only in his looks that Murasakibara Atsushi had changed. During classes he felt no grief in putting his books in his bag and sleeping on his desk in the open. He also didn't feel ashamed of his height, as he once had, choosing to stand up straight and tower over everyone instead of attempt to shrink inwards and appear only slightly taller than his peers. Most obviously, he didn't bother to curb his attitude: he swore when he wanted, ignored those he wasn't interested in hearing from, and formed a new habit of spitting on the ground whenever he felt disgusted.

He had gotten home from school before he headed to the candy store so that he could changed into his favourite outfit: brown work overalls which he wore as pants with the upper portion left hanging down since the straps wouldn't reach over his shoulders, and an extra-large black t-shirt, baggy and ripped in one sleeve, with a red design of his comic-hero, Thor, on the front. He also reapplied the thin line of black coal under his narrow eyes, letting it smudge for a bolder look than what he wore to school. After he was comfortable, he headed back out before his siblings returned home, heading back towards the school on his skateboard to get his some sugar. Now that he had purchased his candy, he was on his way back home, hurrying since he wanted to be home before his father got back from work.

He pulled his headphones up and was sneering as he went on his way, chewing on a sugar-straw to ease his worry about beating his father home; he could have gone to the store straight from school – it would have been a faster, more productive method – but he had left his wallet at home this morning, in his rush to not miss first period. He sped by streets and down lanes, chasing cars as he crossed the busy street, weaving in and out of traffic. Where the foot-traffic became heaviest at the train station, Murasakibara was forced to travel by foot. Although, having the longest legs, he knew he would cross the area quite fast, he was still disappointed to have to dismount from his board. He paid no heed to where he was headed or his surroundings; instead listening to his music and rushing with the tempo to cut through the crowd as fast as he could. It was then, charging forwards with board in hand and a large cherry lollipop in the other, that he ran straight into another person.

"Watch where you're go-"

His rude greeting was cut short when his eyes met those of his former basketball Captain, Akashi Seijuro. Standing at five foot eight, with his trademark flaming red hair, his ex-captain hadn't changed at all in appearance. His body was slender, but well built, and his posture was straight and confident. He wore white, skin-tight jeans, a red button-up shirt, and a small, black blazer, with black studded ankle-boots. In his hand he carried a black, leather bag. Murasakibara's words died on his tongue as he drank the sight of him in and he reached up to push back his headphones in front of his peer.

"I think it was you, Atsushi, who walked into me." Akashi replied, his voice still cold and full of authority.

Murasakibara had no words. He'd hang his head, but that only gave the shorter man the advantage.

"I won't keep you. Good day." Akashi averted his eyes and turned to move around his old Center, acting as he said he would at their last meeting in Teiko Middle School's gymnasium, 'as if they were strangers.'

"Aka-chin. Wait." Murasakibara reached out to Akashi, catching his shoulder. "What- what are you doing here?"

Akashi stared into Murasakibara's bright eyes, and licked his dry lips as he considered his words.

"I am here on business."

"In Akita?"

"Yes. In Akita."

"Why- why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not as if we're exactly  _friends_ , Atsushi."

The bland words cut deep and tore open old scabs in Murasakibara's heart. It seemed so long ago that he had asked his captain out for dinner after one of their victories to qualify for the championship; they had been the visiting school and rather than take the bus home with everyone else, Murasakibara had taken Akashi out for dinner and then had his father pick them up and drop Akashi home. That had been the start of their clandestine, and rather short-lived relationship. And though the relationship was one they both agreed to take slow and consented to end in a mutual agreement, a part of Murasakibara blamed Akashi for their split. To make matters worse, several members of Atsushi's family blamed Akashi for his changes in attitude and academics. Still, Akashi's words pulled at feelings Murasakibara still held from both his romance with Akashi and his loyalty to his previous team's captain.

"I just thought, you know, since we were on the team together that you might have thought we could hang out. Catch up, you know?"

Akashi nodded slowly, following his words.

"I wouldn't think to hang out during a business trip, Atsushi. And not with anyone that isn't on my  _current_  team."

Atsushi spat out of habit. Anger rolled over his body in waves and fought to keep his arms from shaking. At the heart of his beliefs, he viewed that all things were from fate, so meeting Akashi was not a chance encounter. He viewed this meeting – although shocking – as a second chance with the fiery redhead, and he wasn't ready to lose his attention now just because Akashi wanted to play it off as a mere accident.

"Well,  _I_  thought of it." he pushed roughly. "So would you like to?"

Akashi raised an eyebrow at this new boldness in his center. He had dealt with attitude from his Miracles before - especially their ace, Aomine Daiki - but he hadn't received such forward words in some time. His members at Rakuzan were always on their best behaviour to obey him every time he requested something of them.

"I don't see the harm in it." He finally replied, having taken the time to think through the consequences of his answer.

"Great. You have my number?"

"Somewhere."

The faint blush on the point guard's cheeks told Murasakibara otherwise. He rolled his eyes, popped the lollipop into his mouth and held out his hand for Akashi's phone. "Lemme sync it."

Akashi pulled his sleek, new phone out and handed it to Murasakibara after unlocking it.

Murasakibara glanced it over before punching in his name and number with his thumb. "Nice." he commented at the latest model.

Akashi smiled at the remark, a forced business smile, and took the phone back with as little physical contact with Murasakibara as possible.

"I'll call you tonight." Murasakibara flashed a rare smile. "And you'd better answer."

Sighting a parting in the crowd, Murasakibara threw his board to the ground and sped off; feeling a slight satisfaction in leaving his former captain breathless and behind him. He repeated the number he took off the phone in his mind until it was etched in, having checked what the number was in the information section of Akashi's phone. He didn't want to leave right away, but he knew standing around in the middle of the crowded square wasn't going to lead to them hanging out any sooner, and he knew that he needed to get home quickly before his father beat him there. He had Akashi's number, he would definitely hear from him again soon.

 

* * *

 

"Where did you speed off to so quickly?"

Atsushi stopped at the gate door in front of his yard. His older brother, Nori, was leaning on it, evidently waiting for him.

"I had a fix." he held up his bag.

"Did you get any of those gummy rings?"

"Naw, I wanted the sugar straws."

"Darnit."

"I waited for you."

"Did you?! I came as soon as I could, but mom said you left already."

"Then you weren't quick enough."

"Not my fault."

"Let me through."

The pair of brothers walked up the drive and into their cozy house. It had become familiar to Atsushi, and he was grateful he hadn't felt a big difference in districts either. The house was small for a family of their size, with a small sitting room for their rather large family to gather together, and enough bedrooms for them to pair up in. But it was their own little nest and nothing felt better than being home after an exhausting day, especially when there was a hot meal being cooked.

"So, are you gonna share?" Nori teased him.

Atsushi's eyes narrowed and he pulled the bag out of reach, glaring at his brother for taking the sweets he paid for with his own allowance. A sudden thought of Akashi - with his cold eyes and lonely stance - made Murasakibara reconsider. Before he could respond, he moved the bag back and held it open for his elder.

Nori was too shocked to even take a candy. He stared at Atsushi, looking up to him slightly and brushed his hair back off his face.

"A-are you sure?"

Atsushi only nodded. "Before I change my mind." he added.

Nori grinned and took a gummy worm. "Thank you, Mukkun!"

Atsushi pulled him back by the neck of his shirt. "And don't you go letting everyone here know I'm giving off candy. I'll have none left for myself."

"I know the feeling." his brother replied, patting his back. "I've got your back."

Despite indulging in candy during a small soccer match between the twins in the back yard, Atsushi ate two platefuls of the cream stew his mother had prepared. It was almost evening, and he kept glancing at the clock while he debated when would be too early to call Akashi.

'I want him to wait.' he thought to himself. 'I want him to feel my agony. I want him to have me on his mind, wondering when I'll call.'

He did all the dishes, washing them slowly and carefully, then put them away after one of the twins helped dry them. Afterwards, he trudged up the stairs to his room, carrying with him his skateboard and shoes. Nori was already inside, lying across his whole bed on his half of the room.

"Get out." Atsushi greeted him.

"Wh-what?" His brother pulled out a earphone.

"I said, get out!"

"What for?"

Atsushi rolled his eyes. "I need to call a friend."

"How long?"

"I dunno."

"Text me when I can come back in."

"And don't you dare-"

"Tell anyone. Yeah, yeah. I know."

His brother took his leave quietly. Murasakibara hesitated. He did say he would call. But would he feel better standing Akashi up, making him wait for a call that wouldn't come. A smirk grew on his lips but a sinking feeling hit him in the stomach.

"Aka-chin would  _never_  do that to me, even if he didn't tell me he was coming to Akita."

He pulled out his cell phone, a simple gadget compare to Akashi's device, and punched in the number he all but burned into his brain. He stared at the little green icon until tears blurred his vision, and he sat on his bed with his shoulders slumped for a moment.

He wouldn't cry over the past. He couldn't let the thought of what happened interfere with what the future held. He pulled back a growl, sucked in his breath, and lifted his head. He forced the tears to stop and held his gaze upwards until he was sure they wouldn't betray him on the phone. He pulled his hair into a ponytail, closed his eyes, and hit the little green button.

The phone rang.

And rang.

On the third ring, it clicked on.

"Good evening, you've reached Akashi Seijuro."

'Professional, huh?' Murasakibara thought, then smirked. "Greetings, Captain!"

"Atsushi." A pause. "I am not your captain any longer."

"You will always be captain to me." An awkward silence dawned and Murasakibara cleared his throat. "So how long are you staying in Akita?"

"Three days."

"Where?"

"A hotel on one of the main roads."

"Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?"

"When?"

"Around ten."

"Wouldn't you be in school."

"Not if I don't wanna be."

Akashi rolled his eyes on the other end of the call, but the gesture went unseen. He was surprised by the tall man's apparent attitude change. "Are you sure that's such a good idea."

"Well, I take it you aren't busy at that time."

"Well, no. Not exactly."

"So, where do I meet you?"

"Atsushi-"

"Yes, captain?"

"This isn't about  _us_ , is it?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"I don't want you getting the wrong idea about this."

"I think you're the only one thinking that way, captain."

Murasakibara's heart would have dropped some of the guard it developed to see the blush on Akashi's cheeks. On the other end of the call, Akashi thanked himself that he had spoken his concerns to Murasakibara over the phone Murasakibara couldn't see his emotions on his face.

"Alright." Akashi agreed. "I'll meet you then, I have a few hours I can spare."

"Sounds great! So I'll meet you at your hotel then." Murasakibara quickly agreed, hoping his voice wouldn't waver. "Text me where." He hung up without waiting for a goodbye. He was shivering, his hands were shaking, and he felt like punching a hole in the wall...again.

"You can come back up now!" he shouted, specifically to his brother but knowing most of the house would hear him.

In seconds he was joined by his brother in their room.

"You could've just said so." he chuckled nervously. "The twins nearly had a heart attack."

"I live here, don't I?" he murmured, icily.

"Why don't you tell me what's up?" Nori asked, diving onto his own bed and glancing at Atsushi.

Atsushi glared at him. He pushed his overalls off his legs and off the bed, and rolled over with his back against his sibling, facing the wall instead. He pulled his headphones up onto his ears and rolled his eyes to himself.

"'Sushi?" He brother asked, prompting him to speak.

Atsushi glanced over his shoulder at his brother, glaring at him for prying. He bit his lower lip and then turned away again, scrolling through his iPod for a loud song to drown the sound of Nori's voice out. Once he turned his music on, he turned to face his brother once more to answer his question.

"Fuck off."


	2. Knowing Your Own Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

**Chapter 2 - Knowing Your Own Darkness:**

Wednesday, October 12th

It was still dark out when Murasakibara's eyes slipped open. He sat up in bed and stretched, flexing the muscles in his upper back. On any typical day, a man the size of Murasakibara would indulge in a heavy slumber, barely disturbed by any noise or light. But this wasn't a typical day. Having just woken from sleep, Murasakibara could already feel something different was about to charge into the course of his routine life.

He didn't want to listen to the sound of Nori snoring until the time to rise came. And he couldn't do much upstairs without waking anyone else up. Pulling his trousers up from the floor, Atsushi made his way silently out of the room, down the stairs, past the living space, and down more stairs into the basement.

Used mainly for storage, the basement was a warehouse of boxes and tools. Atsushi began digging in his corner, not knowing exactly what he was looking for but looking for something all the same. He tossed down a box containing Christmas decorations, and another that held their artificial tree, before finally coming to the one he subconsciously wanted. It was one he didn't unpack from the move and had sent straight into the basement without so much as a backwards glance. It held all his middle school memories, from when he started to his last year at Teiko.

Looking around, Atsushi found a sturdy looking table that he could use as a seat. He dropped the box beside him and began fishing around, pausing to tuck his violet hair behind his ear. His mind sidetracked to his eldest brother's appearance, initially comparing their hair colour around the time his eldest brother was his age. The last time Atsushi had seen him he had dark purple hair and eyes the colour of a midnight sky. He stood at seven foot two, and was leaving for his final year at university, where he was studying to become an engineer. He differed from the rest of the family, growing cold and isolated as he matured; his body turning darker, bigger. Atsushi wondered vaguely if he would develop in his footsteps. After all, he wouldn't mind being seven feet or having eyes the colour of darkness now.

He returned his attention to the box, which contained several items. The first that came to hand was his old jersey. He had played numbers twelve and five at Teiko, and was the tallest at their school. Still, the jersey seemed small to him now, and he simply brushed it aside. Underneath the material was a book his sister had put together. It held pages from his yearbooks and newspaper clippings, all about " _The Generation of Miracles"_. He thumbed through the pages carefully, not wanting to tear anything. Though his heart felt like a dead weight in his chest, hollowly beating just to keep him alive, he felt a small thrill at the touch of the book.

"Kise-chin."

He read the signed page by his model-friend. The blonde had never been afraid to speak with him, in fact the blonde was the first to speak to him when he learned he shared him gym class with the titan of a boy. Atsushi smirked and vaguely wondered what Kise-chin was up to now; he had neglected to write back to him in some time and after a while, the flamboyant emails from the model had stopped arriving. He still picked up his magazine from time to time, but Kise had been correct in saying he would be laying the modeling off in order to make more time to devote to his sporting career. Without thinking how early in the morning it was, Murasakibara lifted his phone and punched in a quick text message to Kise. He sent it off and put the phone back in his pocket.

Returning his attention to the book, a clipping Atsushi had forgotten about stared back up at him. It was a large clipping, with a fairly big picture of Aka-chin turning away from the camera. The article was headed  _"Miracle Generation Planning to Split?"_ Atsushi's fingers shook as he stared at the black and white picture. Despite the saturation, he could still picture the vivid red of Akashi's hair, his right eye. He snapped the book closed and threw it harder than he meant to back into the box.

He heard the floorboards creak upstairs and pressed himself into the shadows. He didn't want to cause a scene this early. He had already caused more than enough trouble provocatively dancing on the tables in the cafeteria at school, smart-mouthing his teachers, and pushing other students around since he had started at Yosen. His family didn't need to discover him becoming a bat in the night in their basement as well. The creaking stopped and he let out his breath. He knew that they would be at their wits end if they had found him, but he was more worried about how he'd react to their words. Everything they said to him recently seemed to trigger a burning rage in him that only violence or extreme exhaustion could cure. In his heart, Murasakibara felt it was only a matter of time before he did something he would live to regret.

It was late. There was no reason for him to be down here, prowling about like a burglar in his own home, looking for some timeless treasure that was sure to elude him. He went to close the box when something deep inside caught his attention. He reached inside and pulled the figurine out. It was made as a class project, inspired by his crush at the time: the king piece of a chess board. Standing six inches tall and made of a stumpy tree branch from his old district, he had hand carved the piece with Akashi in mind. He dug deeper in the box, fishing out the other pieces of the board. He had made two full sets so that when put together they could be used to play a full game, but as of now there was no distinction between them. He had won first prize for the figurine section in the art competition his teacher had lodged them in, but he never cared much for them. His mouth pulled into a cruel smile and he wrapped his fingers around the king. Fate had opened a door for him.

When it was a decent time to be awake, he left the basement to get dressed for school and collect his schoolbag, stashing his change of day clothes and bag filled with candies and food under his bed sheets. He'd have to pretend to head off to Yosen, but he would double back and sneak in to change when everyone else had left. It was a waste of energy, he thought as he spat on the walk to school, but it was well worth the day's adventure. He turned his music up, letting it surround his mind and soothe him into its trance of melodic riffs and alluring tempos, as he sped down the streets on his board. As he distanced himself from home, he slowed his pace and lowered the volume of his music. There was a row of vending machines and park benches after the next corner, and he planned to use that area as his turn-around point.

Approaching one machine that dispensed chips, Atsushi fished out the several coins required and nonchalantly gathered his many flavors in his arms. He sat on the backrest of the bench with his feet on the seat and began indulging in his treats. Several passing bystanders stared at him displaying his rebellious behaviour, but none ventured to lecture him outright as he'd seen happen to smaller-statured rebels. In the time he finished his chips the bell for first class would ring, his parents would both be starting their shifts at work, and his brothers and sister would be at their respected training grounds. He chewed slowly, letting his teeth sink into the crispness of the chip and feel his saliva turned the once brittle material to mush. With them all out of the house, it would only be a small matter of time before he would join his previous captain for whatever the day presented him. But he wasn't thinking about what the day would shape itself to be, or about the amount of trouble he potentially would be in if he was caught. His mind was on Akashi.

He admitted to himself that he hadn't been the most attractive male in his generation at Teiko Middle School. With his chin-length lavender hair, he had seemed more of a cute puppy than a possible suitor. His tall stature kept him from forming much muscle definition and his voice hadn't dropped despite hitting puberty. Alongside his physical downsides, he didn't have much assets: there wasn't much skills or materials he could offer, and he wasn't as academically intellectual as Akashi or Midorima by nature. All of this held him back from getting closer to Aka-chin, whose idea of a relationship included looks, interest, and skills, which Atsushi's sister had summed up as 'from the dark side.'

However, Murasakibara had grow, time had passed, and his chances didn't seem as low as before. Without looks, interest, and skills he had managed to start a relationship with Akashi, so he felt confident in his ability to win him back over again. Now he had confidence, muscle, style, and attitude. Today was going to be different; today he would have Akashi's attention for sure. And if the redhead still viewed him as simply not good enough to check all the boxes on his relationship bucket-list, he would make sure that he would gain his attention in another, less conventional way. Akashi hadn't appreciated him for his respect of the team and dedication in middle school. He hadn't chided him for his bad habits, nor did he respect him for his outstanding qualities, good or bad. The overall lack of acknowledgement in any regards, and otherwise blatant status of taken for granted, drove Murasakibara insane at times, so if he had to go out of his way to earn Akashi's attention by means of being annoying and downright disrespectful, he was prepared to.

True to his fiery nature, Akashi was not only quick to anger but was also quick to grow tired of something as well. He displayed rejection due to boredom seductively and yet still professionally; sighing, rolling his eyes, even going to the point of brushing back his hair and looking skywards before bluntly informing you how utterly boring he found your company. Murasakibara had seen so many faces displaying crushed emotions and stunned expressions while he shadowed his captain. It was only a vague, misty thought that the same would happen to him one day. But he was positive that he would have an advantage over others boys that crushed on Akashi: he would have the guts to be able to keep Akashi silent for long enough to prove to him that he was more than capable of outperforming the dreaded bucket-list.

Atsushi crumpled his chip bags in his hands until they stuck into an object similar to a ball. He stood up on the bench and fired a shot that landed perfectly in the garbage can across the street before he began heading homewards. He didn't even notice the small amounts of pedestrians that applauded his shot, shocked from the length of it. Akashi was too much to think about, let alone all the reasons the redhead would have to reject him.

Once home, Atsushi hurried inside and kicked off his shoes. He was quiet as he raced up the stairs and into his bedroom despite the fact that no one was home. Still, he felt the need to be both quick and quiet as he charged to his bed and switched his clothes with the ones better suited for their location and timing. Afterall, walking around in his school uniform would draw too much unwanted attention at the least, and a call to the school informing them of where a student was sighted out of class at the worst. He had been unfortunate enough to have had the diligent civilians of Akita already call Yosen on him skipping out twice before, he didn't need to make it a third time. Once changed, he slung his backpack over his shoulder and grabbed a handful of cookies from the kitchen before heading out the door again. Nothing seemed unordinary, and if any of his family went home, they would only assume he ran off to the candy store afterschool again.

He was a block from his house when the text arrived. 'Don't come. It's not a good day.'

Atsushi spat and hit his hand against a telephone pole in frustration. "Fuck!"

Standing in the middle of the street, having already ditched school, Murasakibara was caught like a fly in a spider's web. He wasn't ready to go back to school, but he wasn't prepared to be so easily left alone. It was just like the newer Akashi to go along with everything until the last minute, and then try to get his way out of it. Shoving the phone in his pocket, Atsushi smirked, deciding that this would be Akashi's first chance to see that he wasn't the only one in control anymore.

"Ready or not, Aka-chin. Here I come."

 

* * *

 

The hotel clerk's eyes were filled with fright as he looked up at the man who requested the room Akashi Seijuro was in. He was told by phone earlier that day to not allow anyone up, but he felt to fulfill those orders meant trouble from the tall, muscular, intimidating man that stood on the other side of the counter. Instead, with trembling hands he handed over a slip of paper with a room number on it, 1404.

"Please understand, sir, that I'm not allowed to give you a key, sir. But I'm sure Mr. Akashi-"

Atsushi smirked and gave a single chuckle. "I'm sure Seijuro will be surprised to see me."

All the elevators were crowded with business men and women coming and going. Murasakibara stuck his hand between closing doors but lifted an eyebrow when a small crowd of people pressed further against the back wall of the already cramped cubicle. He considered entering, but quickly decided not to; the elevator looked like it would snap under any extra weight, and he disliked close, tight spaces where he was made to feel guilty for simply being so large. He released the door and stepped back, but still couldn't understand the elevator occupants' expressions; he couldn't determine whether they were scared to have him ride the elevator with them for fear of it being overcrowded or simply because of his appearance. Rather than stand around and wait for another elevator – with no doubt more judgmental adults – he pushed open the door to the stairwell and began his climb up to the fourteenth floor.

"Nothing lesser for Seijuro." he muttered, pushing open the door to the lavish hallway. The room was on one of the highest levels of the hotel, which also happened to be one of the more decorated floors.

He walked towards the north wing and soon found the door to room 1404. Smirking at the play on numbers - room four on the fourteenth floor and Akashi's previous jersey being number four - he lifted a hand and knocked.

"Aka-chin? I know you're in there. Now open up."

Akashi, standing just inside the little kitchen space off from the door, paused in lifting a glass of milk to his lips. Atsushi's new defiant attitude certainly was something of an interest to him. His lips curved into a sly smile as he realized the man wouldn't leave him alone while in Akita, so he simply gave in to having to entertain him. His silky red housecoat sashayed open about his ankles as he turned, and flipped the lock of the door open with his face set in what would appear to be surprise, as if he were wearing a perfect mask. His large eyes were wide with surprise, but Murasakibara had known that look to mean a dominant assault of seduction was coming up. Akashi's mouth was set in a firm pout, clearly disapproving Murasakibara's presence after informing him not to come.

"Aka-chin."

Atsushi simply forced the door open wider and slid through. He wasn't going to wait and make the same mistake of being too simple, too passive, for Akashi Seijuro's tastes again. This time he would step up to meet Akashi halfway for their relationship to have any balance.

"Atsushi."

Murasakibara looked down at Akashi, his violet hair curling at the ends and his eyes tired through his makeup.

"What are you doing here? I told you not to come."

"We made plans, Aka-chin. It isn't right to just ditch those plans."

Akashi stared at Murasakibara, his innocent eyes turning acidic as he realized he was being scolded for having bad manners. He glared and turned away, pushing the door closed and sliding the lock into place with the flick of his wrist.

"Disobedient as always." he muttered, entering the kitchen and raising the glass of milk to his lips once more.

Atsushi simply lifted the glass out of Akashi's reach and sipped the milk himself.

"Atsushi!" Akashi hissed.

"Hmm?"

Akashi felt a sudden urge to scream. It wasn't that he couldn't foresee Murasakibara's behaviour, he simply couldn't stand to work against it. It frustrated him how irritating Murasakibara was being, and he knew it was on purpose.

"What happened to you, Atsushi?"

"Hmm? What do you mean, Aka-chin?"

Akashi simply poured himself another glass of milk and took his time to order his words before responding. The image of Murasakibara standing before him now battled against the soft purple puppy he had trained at Teiko. He had indeed heard from some teammates how Murasakibara had developed, but he didn't imagine that he himself would be treated with such a bold attitude. His adorable puppy had become a disobedient dog, and the comparison upset him greatly.

"You used to be so well behaved-"

"Ahh." Murasakibara cut him off, unable to resist the opportunity. "So you  _actually_  noticed that."

Akashi rolled his eyes and shook his silky sleeves back from his hands, sipping his milk and leaning against the counter to display his fine, slender body. Murasakibara drank in the image acceptingly, but steeled himself from any emotional connection towards Akashi in that way.

"I  _did_  noticed you in Teiko. It wasn't as if you weren't there. Besides, you were so  _big_  it would be impossible  _not_  to notice you."

"You noticed your Miracles, I'll give you that." Murasakibara spat back, turning his face to hide his revolt.

Akashi had never made Murasakibara angry before. In the past it was out of comradeship that they had spent time together. They had only begun to quarrel after their relationship began to fall apart, and Murasakibara felt that it was stupid for them to continue arguing after they decided to remain friends. He didn't imagine that he would be arguing with Akashi in Akita, let alone feeling fevered and ill-tempered because of him. He wanted to see something smash into a million little pieces, but he knew all too well that it wasn't going to help him find any answers.

There were moments in which memories of Teiko would make Murasakibara feel sick to his stomach and this just happened to be one of them. He closed his eyes and held his head up, trying to fight off the urge to vomit on Akashi's hotel floor. Watching that figure dress and undress, command with the fierceness of a general on the battlefield, and turn into a fiery lover were all parts of his life that Murasakibara began to view as his own personal curse. Why couldn't Akashi have dated Aomine and been done with it? He could have just told himself that Akashi wasn't interested then, he was into some other kind of hit-it-and-quit-it guy, so he could have forced himself to move on.

"Does it bother you, Atsushi? That I really didn't care."

"Do you have to make it so obvious?" Atsushi spoke through gritted teeth.

A single beep interrupted their conversation. Murasakibara checked his phone to discover Kise-chin had responded to his text. The screen seemed to glow with a radiance only Kise could produce, and the text displayed on the screen was animated with emojis scattered throughout the message.

'Good morning indeed, Murasakicci! How have you been doing? I'm in history class this period. It is very boring. I missed you very much!'

Murasakibara smirked and punched in a reply. He didn't want Kise to know he had skipped out, so he responded with a casual lie that he felt wouldn't hurt their friendship, before tucking the phone away again.

Akashi made no attempt to question the phone. He simply stared at Atsushi from across the room, his mismatched eyes burning with laughter. "You don't mean to tell me that you are still in contact with the Miracles?" he sneered, reading the expression on Murasakibara's face and immediately knowing it was a text message from Kise Ryota.

"You don't mean to tell me that you  _aren't_."

Akashi scowled and pushed himself away from the counter, seductively walking towards the table so that it would be between himself and Murasakibara. He palmed something in his hand, taking it out of the pocket of his robe. He smirked, touching a forefinger to the corner of his mouth and looking up through his eyelashes. His mindgame was just about ready to begin.

"I have no need to." he replied easily.

He placed a six inch figurine that was a badly carved and rather crooked version of the king chess piece down on the chessboard on the tabletop. It was one Murasakibara had carved in Teiko and after he had placed it down Akashi took a delighted step back, his bangs falling and covering his smoldering heterochromic eyes.

"But I still have my ways to contact each and every one of you. Don't you worry, Atsushi."


	3. Waking the Beast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

**Chapter 3 - Waking the Beast:**

(Wednesday, October 12th - Continued)

The chess piece glared up at Murasakibara from its throne on the table. He felt sweat breaking out on his forehead like dew and ran a hand through his hair to force himself to calm down. He looked away, turning and pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers and sucking in deep breaths. He was close to losing all control now, and he knew he would find himself unforgivable to lose his temper against Akashi. The chess piece was the first one he tried carving, and since it had turned out rather poorly, he had given it to Akashi as a gift. The fact that the redhead had brought it with him to Akita meant that he was open to the possibility of showing Murasakibara that he had brought it, and therefore it meant he had been open to the possibility of running into him. By showing him that piece in specific, Murasakibara confirmed that Akashi was simply fucking with him mentally, something his ex – in more ways than one – enjoyed doing with his peers.

He scowled and exhaled heavily. A part of him, a part he didn't want to acknowledge, still romantically cared for the smaller man. So instead of reacting with outrage to the fact that Akashi was mentally prepared to torment him, Atsushi gritted his teeth until he was sure he wasn't going to do something he'd regret, and forced himself to keep calm.

Akashi watched him. With Murasakibara's turned away, Akashi felt safe in letting his eyes wander over his body, indulging in the sight of his back, his arms, and his legs. Murasakibara's hair had grown longer than Akashi remembered, the tall man's overall body had grown almost twice in width with the muscles he had built, and he held himself up to full height rather than slouch down as he once did. Akashi licked his lips, appreciating the newer body Murasakibara had developed both as a sport's captain and as a potential romantic partner. A part of Akashi wanted to tie that body down and make sure it would know that it was never free to do as it pleased so long as he was in control of it.

Akashi shook his head at the thought and rolled his eyes at himself. It was a shame he was finding these feelings now, rather than before when they were both at Teiko. Perhaps his younger self didn't mature as fast as the other boys, and his prepubescent self hadn't realized what exactly the others meant when all the dating nonsense had started. Still, Akashi felt out of the loop, and the fraction of his brain blamed his high social class for being uneducated in the lower, more common social cues that seemed to spring up around him faster than he could understand them. He was quite sheltered by his overprotective father, and he knew that, so he shrugged off any guilt he would begin to feel in regards to how he treated his peers sometimes as he found his father's over-protectiveness was a valid excuse for his social ignorance.

Murasakibara bit down until he felt his teeth ache with the effort. He sighed and opened his eyes, green circles of light popping out of the darkness as his eyes adjusted to the light of the hotel. He took in his settings once more, gathering his bearings so he wouldn't be so lost, then turned back to face Akashi.

While Murasakibara's back was to him, Akashi felt unsure if the giant was sobbing or suppressing his anger. He held back, wanting to reach out to him, but was unsure if there would be any physical consequences if he did. He couldn't return to his father in less than perfect condition, and his visual measurements on Murasakibara allowed him a good insight as to how long any bruises would last, if he would be lucky enough to walk away with just those. He pressed his lips into a hard line, not wanting to allow his concern to leak through his carefully composed mask and waited. Perhaps, he found himself wondering, he had crossed the line with the chess piece and scared Atsushi entirely.

But he didn't have to wait much longer; Murasakibara turned to face Akashi, his hands dropping from his face and his hair falling from between his fingers. Akashi felt his spine straighten, a sudden flash of the unknown affecting his perfect posture, and his eyes widened in mild surprise to see the intensity of the glare that Murasakibara shot at him.

"Can I use your washroom?"

Murasakibara had a hard time spitting the words out coherently.

Akashi nodded, pointed to the hallway behind Murasakibara and watched as the tall man made his way to the right room.

Murasakibara closed the door behind himself and turned to face the mirror. His eyes were dark, cold, and acidic. He scrunched his eyes shut and let the tears flow freely. He wanted nothing more than to shatter the broken image that was his reflection, but he wondered how Akashi would react to losing – and paying for – the hotel's mirror. He held his hair up in his hands, pulling it all from his face, and suppressed the loud, hiccoughing sobs that built up in his throat. His hands held his hair tightly, so he could force himself to repress the violence by squeezing something that wouldn't break, and grit his teeth in pain. He knew he couldn't hide in Akashi's bathroom for much longer. While a gruff sigh, he pulled a hair tie from around his wrist and secured his hair in a ponytail, before pushing back the faucet of the sink and beginning to splash the cold water on his face.

He was careful not the rub his eyes, fearing his eyeliner would run, but the water felt cool against his skin and fought back against the fever his anger brought on. He rubbed his fingers along his hairline and against his temples, cleaning the sweat from his brow. He made sure he wasn't fevered anymore, before patting the towel on the bar against his face and hands. He pulled the tie from his hair and brushed his fingers through it, before pulling it back again to fasten the tie around it neatly. Several strands fought against the tie and fell in his face, and he was thankful that he wouldn't feel as naked in front of Akashi as he might have without them. He sighed, feeling more ashamed of his loss of control, and began to unlock the door.

When the bathroom door clicked shut after Murasakibara went in, Akashi found himself suddenly alone again and sank into a chair at the table.

The glare was frozen in his mind as if he had taken a digital photograph of it, and would appear to him whenever he closed his eyes. He pressed his palms against his ears, forcing himself to keep his eyes wide open, trying to dispel the image from his mind. It surprised him just how strongly concentrated Atsushi's glare had been. His violet eyes had turned as hard and cold as amethysts. He hadn't bothered to hide the pure  _hatred_  in them.

Akashi shuddered. Hatred was the only word he could use to describe the look he had seen in Atsushi's eyes.

The door jerked open loudly and Akashi jump up, kicking the chair into the table with more force than necessary. It made a bang and Murasakibara jumped as he walked down the hallway. He forced himself to remain in the anxious calm he had created out of his misery and came to stand before Akashi, across the table from him as before.

"I, uhh, brought the rest of those pieces, if you...you know, would like to play?" he nodded towards the piece gloating at him on the table.

Akashi nodded, his voice still lost from the heat of Atsushi's anger. It had been a while since he had played a game against anyone other than himself, the boys at Rakuzan high never bothered to challenge him after the first week, and he felt the sudden isolation pressing against him the moment Murasakibara had offered him a game against another human.

"S-sure. That sounds like...fun."

Murasakibara retrieved the pieces from his bag and they set them in order on the board. The sets that until this morning were completely identical were now set apart by the bold shades of paint that covered them. Blood red paint now coated one player's team, while the other had been painted an ivory white, leaving the piece Akashi had put down on the board the only naturally toned piece. Murasakibara shivered involuntarily as he placed the complete set on the board, recalling how he had just painted the figures this morning. He was frightened, he admitted, by the sudden appearance of the one from Akashi's pocket, since he hadn't expected him to have still kept it, let alone brought it on this little business trip to Akita with him.

Akashi raised an eyebrow at the red set but said nothing. They began and Akashi wanted to laugh when he saw Atsushi's face crumple up in concentration. He had made thirty-two plays when Akashi had struck him with checkmate. The entire match had occurred in silence.

"Again." Murasakibara murmured.

Akashi rolled his eyes and they reset the board. When they at Teiko, Akashi had once asked Murasakibara to play chess with him. Each time he inevitably beat the taller man, Murasakibara would whine and complain about wanting to play a different game. It surprised him that Murasakibara was the one requesting they play a game of chess, and it surprised him more when the purple haired man continued to ask him for a rematch. While he welcomed the chance to play against another human for competition, Akashi found himself becoming more and more interested in the human he was playing against rather than the game itself. The changes in Murasakibara's attitude – to him – didn't seem all that bad if it meant the taller man was increasingly able to focus on more logical things, such as chess, rather than candy or ice cream flavors.

This time Murasakibara only took twenty-nine turns before his king fell. He pouted and began to reset the board, his eyebrows knit together in concentration.

"Once more."

Akashi smirked.

"Do you really enjoy being beaten that much?"

"Does it bother you?"

Akashi stared, unsure of what the question was. As he was playing the white set, he made the first move. When Murasakibara had played, moving a pawn in front of his knight, he settled for asking for clarification.

"Does your enjoyment of punishment bother me?"

"No. Does me challenging you repeatedly bother you?"

"Oh."

Akashi smiled, unsure of whether he could tell the truth in this situation. He figured it wouldn't hurt, but at the same time, he didn't want to sound dependent.

"It doesn't bother me. It doesn't make me feel any gratitude either. Mostly because I know I can win so your efforts are futile."

Atsushi bit his lip and feigned concentration. He knew there was no hope in the idea of him beating Akashi, but if it was something Akashi was willing to do besides argue with him, he was willing to make the most of it. Perhaps even just the effort would stand out to Akashi?

"I'm probably nowhere near as good as Mido-chin was, eh?"

Akashi smiled. "No," he confirmed, "You're not."

Murasakibara smiled. "I try though."

The next two turns passed in silence, before Akashi blushed. "Thank you." he murmured, knowing it was an effort on Atsushi's part to attempt to play a game Akashi's would enjoy.

The blush had brought a different feeling out in Murasakibara. He felt victorious, lighter, freer. It didn't matter if Akashi didn't say it out loud, but he knew that the effort he invested in the chess games were worth it. Akashi had thanked him, but the blush, the blush revealed there was more to the thanks than the simplicity of the words. There was  _feeling_  behind them. Murasakibara felt his spirit soar out of his body, his head grew light. He was thankful that he hadn't lost his temper, and as soon as the words were past Akashi's lips, he wasn't even sure why he had gotten so upset in the first place.

Despite the happiness he felt brought on by Akashi's blush, he fought back from becoming the euphoric puppy that Akashi hadn't been pleased with in middle school. He simply reached out and covered Akashi's entire hand with his own, and held it pinned against the table. After being so bold, he eyed the board for a worthy distraction. He noticed a knight Akashi had left out and seized it, taking it off the board with his other hand.

And his boldness worked. Akashi left his hand where it was, held hostage under Atsushi's, and moved his rook to seize the bishop that Atsushi had now left open.

The game continued and seventy-four plays later, Murasakibara was inevitably beat. Despite his previously poor games, he had been a better challenger this round. Akashi smiled. Atsushi had potential, but he was still a baby. It was going to take more than a single distraction to beat the emperor at a game of chess.

Akashi rose as Murasakibara set up the board again and entered the kitchen. He brought with him a plate of sandwiches piled with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried red onions, and grilled salmon fillets, and two tall glasses of wildberry juice. He returned to the kitchen once more to pour himself a small bowl of tofu soup from the slow cooker on the counter, which Murasakibara smirked at. They moved the board aside and began eating in silence, both having the maturity now to want to focus on eating rather than playing.

"Tell me about Rakuzan." Murasakibara found himself asking.

"What is there you want to know?"

"Oh, just anything. You don't have to talk about your team. Tell me about your classes."

Akashi seemed to relax. He didn't want to be pumped for information on his new team; talking tactics with the enemy was never something he was fond of. And now Atsushi was his enemy, considering he was attending Yosen high and therefore was a part of a different team. That was both a pro and con about being an athlete in team-based sports, your allies were only your allies for so long. At least in his horse racing competitions, his team never changed and his competition was always his competition.

"Classes are boring actually. I don't find that much of a difference between..." he hesitated, not wanting to pull the conversation to become a comparison with his previous school. "-any of them." he finished quickly.

"Ahh." Murasakibara felt compelled to say something, and he settle for a non-bias answer. He waited as Akashi chewed and swallowed before prying for more.

"How are your classmates? And teachers? Did you have any field trips yet?"

Akashi held up a hand to stop him. "One at a time." he chuckled, amused by the quick attack of questions Atsushi seemed to be prepared with. "Well," he began, "My classmates are all very boring for the most part. They don't associate with me much, despite all having similar families and career goals. My teachers don't interact or have much of a personality at all, except for my history professor. He's rather animated and I spend many lunch hours with him in the library to pass time. We used to play shogi or chess, but now with the term picking up, he's been working on preparing his tests and projects so I usually just use the time to read ahead and get my homework done. Out of all my peers there, I am probably closest with Reo Mibuchi, but he's older than me." Akashi pulled a face before he brightened with the next bit of information. "He's also my shooting guard. There haven't been any out-trips yet, but I heard that my physics class might go to the university soon. And I'm also student council president."

Murasakibara smiled and nodded, taking all the information in. He was still smiling and nodding when Akashi had finished. "Of course you are, only the emperor is fit to rule." he teased Akashi about the whole presidential role. "Tell me more." he begged.

"No." Akashi easily declined, "I've done all the talking. Now it's your turn. How's Yosen?"

Murasakibara rolled his eyes. "That's no fair, Aka-chin. You have the ability to know all about Yosen without even talking to me. No doubt you already do."

Akashi smiled. It was odd whenever Atsushi slipped back into his older self around him. It reminded him that this arrogant, irritable, sexy man was once his childish teammate, friend, and something more.

"Fine." Akashi snapped. He enjoyed toying with this new Murasakibara. He liked it a lot.

He reached out and cleared the empty dishes from the table, placing them in the sink. They had eaten a late lunch, and their time together was slowly crawling to a close. Murasakibara looked at the clocked and cursed under his breath. He didn't want Akashi to hear his new string of profanities, so instead he bit his tongue to keep back from educating Mr. Akashi's prestige son on the topic of common American slurs.

He pulled the chess board back into the center of the table, turning it so he played white, and pushed a pawn forward. He didn't what else in the hotel room would captivate Akashi's interest, since he wouldn't be interested in the television and there wasn't much else he could have brought in his bag. So he pushed him to play, savoring the moment with his ex and wracking his brain for more things they could do together that wouldn't cross the line Akashi so openly warned him about. And it was difficult: they couldn't do anything that would be too romantic, too open to the public, or too related to their sport.

Akashi picked up a knight. He held it up and rotated it, watching as the light changed the shadows on the figurine, and then looked past it to Atsushi.

"These are the pieces you made in art class, right?"

Murasakibara smiled sheepishly, proud that Akashi remembered. He knew he was only asking since he had brought the one piece himself, and there was no way he could have forgotten why he was even given that. He nodded, emotionally choked up to find his voice.

"Y-yes."

"And won first prize in the district competition too, if I'm correct?"

"Yep."

Akashi place the figure down on an appropriate square, making a move.

"They weren't painted before though." He paused. "They were plain like that one you gave me. I'm just curious, but why the red? Isn't chess traditionally  _black_  and white?"

Murasakibara moved a bishop forward, taking the opportunity from the pawn he had previously moved. He only did it so he would have time to force the blush to fade before he would admit his inspiration.

"You like chess, Aka-chin. And you're red. So-"

Akashi chuckled. "You painted it for me?"

"Well, yes. And because...there is more to it than that."

"Oh?"

"Have you ever played  _Oshi_ , Aka-chin?"

Akashi paused. He had heard of Oshi before; it was a game that he had always desired to play. The game was old, of course, just as Shogi and Chess were. It was rumored to be a game of the underworld, of the darker-minded, as the object of the game was to get inside the other player's mind and cause them to willingly lose their piece by stepping off the board. Since the game was seen to metaphorically mimic forcing a player's opponent into committing suicide, it was often seen as a taboo to play. Similar to Shogi, Oshi was played on a nine-by-nine board, but it only had a total of fourteen pieces. Despite searching everywhere, and offering to pay several companies and private businesses to make him the pieces, Akashi had never obtained the game, nor had he ever found an opponent who had heard of it that was willing to play it. Many of his father's friends had even denied him, stating they wouldn't play the devil's game. His father had eventually forbid him from asking.

"No." he admitted. "I have never  _played_  Oshi before, Atsushi. I have  _heard_  of it though."

During the silence Atsushi had produced a small bag of gummy worms from his bag. He tore it open and began to eat them slowly, biting and stretching them out to snap them into little pieces with his teeth before consuming them.

"Well, I kind of got the inspiration from that game, with one set ivory white and the other –"

"Crimson red." Akashi murmured, an expression of understanding on his face. There was a small wave of silence before Akashi looked up, with eyes gleaming.

"How have you heard of Oshi before, Atsushi?"

"I was bored and looked up Shogi online one day trying to find the rules. It came up as a relevant game, but I couldn't find anyone that would sell the pieces."

Akashi smirked. It was something Atsushi would probably do.

"I thought Shintarou-"

"Would tell me? No, he actually left the room when he saw what I was doing. He said something about the devil's game. There was a lot of that bullshit online as well."

Akashi actually laughed this time, his eyes widening slightly at Atsushi's casual use of the word 'bullshit.' "Many call it that." he agreed, trying to remain professional in his language.

"I thought Oshi was your game though, Aka-chin."

Akashi laughed some more. He knew Atsushi was poking fun at him but he didn't want to become sour over it. It was all in good humour anyhow. "I'm not the devil, Atsushi."

"You can be." Atsushi smirked. The air between them filled with tension and he waited until they had both settled down to continue. "Would you like to play it?"

"Oshi?"

"Yeah."

"It's something I'd been trying to do for a while. I just can't seem to find it anywhere myself."

Atsushi smiled. This was news to him; Akashi was resourceful and didn't exactly lack the means to customize a game. If he was rejected from artists and the like, he was most likely more than interested in obtaining a version of the game. He opened his mouth, but before he got a chance to say anything, the ringing of the hotel phone caught their attention.

Akashi got up and grabbed the receiver before it cut off.

"Konichiwa; Akashi speaking."

Murasakibara looked at the time. The final bell at school had rung nearly half an hour ago. His family would be wondering where he was at this time.

He stood up and began to check his bag. It was considerably lighter, without all the chess pieces and food he had stashed in it. He had a few bags of gummies squished at the bottom, which he pulled out and tried to make look like he had just picked them from the store and tossed them in. He pulled out his music player and began to unwind the headphone cord from around it, tossing the headset around his neck and tucking the device down his shirt so the cord wouldn't dangle in the wind and catch onto anything as he skateboarded home.

Akashi placed the phone down and came to stand by him.

"Are you going now?"

Murasakibara fought hard to keep the disappointment from his voice. "Yeah, I have to. I didn't tell my parents I was going out and I ditched class. So I better hurry before they find out."

Akashi scowled, hiding his disappointment with his disapproval.

"You shouldn't have."

"You're my captain. Besides, I didn't know when I would see you again."

Akashi was silent as he followed Atsushi to the door. Murasakibara unlocked it and opened it, before turning back to face Akashi.

"I have one question." Akashi caught him off guard, hoping to hold off his goodbye. He didn't want to let Atsushi know how much he enjoyed his company today, or that he was disappointed that he was leaving, but he wanted him to know that he still cared.

"Sure."

"You keep in touch with the other Miracles. How come you never contacted me?"

Murasakibara felt his face turn pink. He recalled how it would soften him and forced himself to clear his throat. It was becoming easier to blend the two Murasakibara's together and form an arrogant, forceful,  _lovable_  Atsushi for Akashi. He smiled at the thought, and it came off as a cocky, confident grin.

"To be honest, Aka-chin, I only contacted Kise-chin this morning."

"Oh."

"Besides, I figured you wouldn't reply to me anyways."

Akashi frowned. "I'm not  _that_  heartless." he spat out.

Murasakibara only smiled and patted Akashi's head once, mussing his fingers in Akashi's crimson hair. "I'll text you then, Aka-chin."

Akashi tried not to smile and failed, the corners of his lips lifting up in a soft expression of appreciation.

Murasakibara felt a small stirring in his stomach that had nothing to do with hunger. He bit his lower lip and bent down, the butterflies in his core going wild, and he tilted Akashi's chin up. As his lips drew closer, Akashi turned his head and allowed Atsushi to kiss his cheek instead.

"Atsushi," he complained. "It's better if we're just friends."

Murasakibara's shoulders slumped but he offered no protest. Trying to shake it off, Murasakibara just shrugged and brush his fingers against Akashi's cheek.

"Alright Aka-chin. I'm fine with that." He turned and began to make his way down the hallway, this time intent on taking the elevator and not the twenty-eight flights of stairs he had climbed this morning.

Akashi closed the door and tucked the lock back into place. The call from his father had made him jump and pulled him from his thoughts. He hadn't realized that he would become intrigued by his ex and he laughed morbidly at the multi-meaning of the word 'ex.'

He began taking off the shirt of his robe, taking his arms out of the sleeves and letting the top fall behind him, held in place by the belt around his waist, when a sight on the table caught his eye. He paused in front of the table, staring at the chess board, midway through a game. Akashi paused, wondering if he should run out and give it back to Atsushi, but he was sure Atsushi would refuse. He had brought it to share with him, inspired by him. Perhaps to complete what he had began to give him when he had given him the first piece he made when they were in middle school. The complete set was a gift.

The sudden act of kindness made Akashi's eyes dewy but he refused to cry. He continued peeling off his clothing and letting it drop wherever on the floor as his way to the bathroom; a habit he had from whenever he felt distracted. The scattered clothing somehow made him feel like he had a way back, a path to follow should he get lost. He also enjoyed the symbolism of them falling where they may. The smallest articles, like his socks, were always closest to the shower, where he felt he was reborn or cleansed. But the larger pieces, the pieces that would make the most sense, were always the first things to lose.

He smiled and turned on the faucet in the shower. Atsushi was on his mind and he was sure that he would see him in his dreams that night. He didn't want to admit it, but some feelings he didn't realize he had for him had been awoken because of his visit from the titan. It bothered him, but he wasn't ashamed or opposed to these feelings, as he had been in middle school. He was intrigued by him, confused and slightly approaching the point of becoming obsessed, but he forced himself to analyze his feelings. They were not romantically based; rather all that Atsushi had become to him was a mystery. And he delighted in the thought of solving it.

 

* * *

 

Murasakibara took the elevator down and was on his skateboard as soon as he hit the sidewalk. Afterschool foot-traffic had picked up and he began skating down the road in an attempt to maneuver quickly.

' _It's better if we're just friends._ '

Akashi's words cycled in his mind despite the loud music. He could make out the melody of the guitar, crashing with the waves of the bass and the stuttering drums. Once or twice he even caught the sound of the vocalist's gruff voice, fading into and out of the consciousness of his mind. But for the most part, Murasakibara was only aware of the band, playing on and on, as Akashi's monotone voice repeated the same lyrics over and over.

He was still pondering what Akashi had meant after he had pulled away from their kiss when he turned onto his own street. The lights were on inside his family's house upon seeing the sight of his warm, glowing home, Murasakibara had no desire to enter. He was thrilled that he got to spend the day with Akashi, but he found no comfort in the endless hours bound up in his house. For once the desire to be like Aomine and play ball on the street courts seemed like an ideal option, rather than have to stay cooped up in his room with his brother. He sighed, knowing his parents would be worried that he would get in trouble or question his sudden behaviour change, and reluctantly entered the house.

He smiled at the smell coming from the kitchen. Someone – most likely his mom – was preparing chicken teriyaki. He was planning to sneak to his room, but the meal changed his mind and he popped his head into the kitchen.

"Is it ready yet?" he innocently queried.

"When did you get in?"

"Just now." He fished in his bag and produced a bag of gummies. "I had a fix and got delayed talking to one of the kids that I work with on the health committee."

"Ahh." His mother smiled at him. "Just a few more minutes, Atsushi."

Atsushi turned to flee to his room.

"Ah, ah. Not just yet, mister."

Murasakibara turned back, sheepish. Did someone recognize him on the street and rat him out for ditching school?

"You have several messages. Apparently your friend, Kise Ryouta, was trying to contact you all day."

Murasakibara's face brightened. "Kise-chin called?!"

He checked the message pad near the phone and took the top page with him as he rushed to his room. The number wasn't from Kise's mobile phone, so he must have called from his dormitory's ground phone. Atsushi didn't understood the sudden use of his landline; Kise-chin usually had his mobile with him, and it would have Atsushi's number. He sent Kise a text saying he would call him in an hour or so, explaining he just got home and had to eat dinner with his family first.

The chicken teriyaki was ready by the time he had cleaned up and went back down. Everyone was at their places at the table and he settled himself in quickly so he wouldn't attract any attention. Nori made a face at him and he tried his best to not let it get the best of him. The twins were in their own world, fighting with each other over food servings and keeping their mother busy. While everyone was busy making small talk around the table, as the Murasakibara's never felt the need to question each and every kid on how their day was or what they had done, Nori leaned over to spill whatever was on his mind.

"Didn't see ya on my way to third period as I always do. What did you do this time to earn a talking to?"

Atsushi froze, not wanting to be caught up in lies. Nori was always his biggest worry whenever he was cutting class because he was Atsushi's only sibling that still attended high school. He was in his final year.

"I just...needed help."

"Yeah. Right."

"It's none of your business anyways."

His brother rolled his eyes and Atsushi rushed the rest of his meal, skipping his turn to do the dishes and not bothering to wait for the peach cobbler that was baking for dessert, claiming that he was eager to speak to Kise. He knew his parents would forgive him for abandoning his chores in lieu of speaking to one of his old friend's, since speaking to any friends at all was a rarity for him these days and the absence of Kise was seen as something that contributed to his declined in moral attitude. As soon as he was finished eating, he stood and took his plate to the sink, washing it and leaving it in the dish rack to dry. Then he took the landline phone since he knew the call would take him a while and he didn't want to waste his minutes if he was already at home. He headed up to his room to talk to Kise.

Kise was chirpy as he answered the phone.

"Murasakicci!"

"Kise-chin!"

To any third party listening, their greetings would seem oddly out of place with their matured voices. The conversation was long, passing through the details of Kise's day and their high schools. Atsushi was surprised to find Ryouta had increased his workout schedule in order to remain on the school team and become a better player, although this made his homework suffer. It reminded him of the amount of homework he would have to tackle to stay caught up with all the classes he missed today.

After much chatter about the guys on their teams and the now ordinary routine they both had to endure, the conversation drew back to their old school and the times they shared. They didn't have to describe every detail for each other as they had with their new schools, and it was nice to just remember their favorite things together. Murasakibara was glad Kise hadn't been able to see his face. He hadn't seemed to have heard of his attitude lately either, and he hoped that the smile in his voice was audible for his best friend to acknowledge just how much this meant to him. It was a good feeling to have the nostalgic waves wash over them and realize that they were still close to each other. He smiled and found himself cuddled to the phone as he listened to Kise talking about his English class. Suddenly he snickered.

Kise paused.

"What's so funny?" His voice was humourous, he knew Atsushi wasn't being rude.

"You just reminded me of what I did in English the other day. You would have died if you saw me."

"What did you do, Murasakicci?"

"I shouldn't tell you. You'll never forgive me."

"Spill!"

Atsushi chuckled but needed no further prompt.

"Okay, so we're reading Shakespeare because he's just great, right? And so...I was bored, right? And, well, I put my head down to sleep and my teacher called me out."

"Oh?"

"And he asked me why I wasn't participating and I told him I was bored."

"Well, that's blunt."

"It was the truth. Anyways, he told me that I needed to know this stuff for the future, like my job and stuff."

"Don't tell me you gave him the bakery lecture?"

"Naw. I just told him ' _why do I need to know Shakespeare when I can shake this?'_  and proceeded to stand on my chair and shake my booty."

Kise's laughter was audible even with the phone held away. It was a moment before he could control himself enough to speak.

"You're new boyfriend is definitely a bad influence on you."

Murasakibara halted, his smile slipping off his face.

"What did you just say?"

"I mean, I can't believe you did that!" Kise was saying. He stopped and listened to Atsushi. "Oh, it's just that I ran into that black haired boy that goes to your school. He said he's the Yosen shooting guard or something, number twelve. Anyways, he's this cute American boy with a beauty mark under his eye. He said he's your boyfriend."

Atsushi listened in horrified numbness. "Muro-chin?" His voice came out like a whisper.

"Yeah, his name was Himuro or something."

"Kise-chin, we're not dating."

"Oh?!"

"No, I'm serious. We're not together that way!"

The tone of Atsushi's voice was enough to convince Ryouta of his friend's truth.

"Don't panic, Murasakicci. I believe you."

"Does..." Atsushi was having a hard time forming the question on his lips. "Does Aka-chin know about this?"

Kise's silence bothered Atsushi. "I don't...think so."

"Does Aka-chin know about this?!"

"Calm down, Murasakicci! I don't think so. Akashicci hasn't been in contact with any of us since he moved."

Murasakibara's mind was on fast-forward. Suddenly everything that had occurred that afternoon clicked into place. Akashi's defensiveness, his rejection,  _'it's better if we're just friends.'_  Akashi thought he was dating Muro-chin, and that must mean Akashi thought he changed himself for Himuro and not for Akashi.

"I've...got to call you back, Kise-chin. I need to call Akashi."

"Eh?! You still talk to Akashicci?! You didn't tell me-"

"I'll call you back!"

Atsushi was panicked as he hung up and raced down the stairs to put the landline away. He wanted to call Akashi as soon as possible, but he wanted to use his cell phone. The last thing he needed was for anyone in his family to pick up one of the other landline devices and listen in on his call to his former captain, who was a topic they had all come to understand as a trigger for Atsushi.

It was still early enough to call Akashi, but the panic was beginning to blur all his thoughts together. What would he say to him? How could he even begin to explain this misunderstanding when he wasn't even aware of how it began? How could he possibly bring it up?

The cordless home-phone had been thrust back into its cradle when Atsushi turned and raced right into his older brother, Akira. He glared down his long nose at Atsushi, his lavender hair fair and styled in its usual sidepart.

"Guess who just called mum on her cell?" he questioned.

Atsushi was suddenly full of rage from feeling backed into a corner. The panic had converted itself into anxiety, and from that to adrenaline. It was coursing through his body now, pumping testosterone at an alarming rate through his veins.

"I don't care." he forced himself to mutter.

His fists shook at his side and he turned to face away from his brother. He closed his eyes and looked down, letting his hair fall over his face. He began counting to ten, trying desperately not to lose his temper. But with each passing minute he was distracted, he would lose time to talk to Akashi and set his record straight.

"Your second period teacher." his brother stated. Despite his intentions his words made Atsushi feel taunted.

His other siblings were beginning to saunter into the kitchen now, all beginning to carry in their dishes. His father was not far behind them and Atsushi's stomach flipped at the thought of him learning that he had ditched classes again. He didn't need his father to spend time lecturing him; he knew it would only cause him to be more anxious about missing his opportunity to speak to Akashi, and that made him afraid that in his panic he would commit further unacceptable actions. He wasn't sure how much longer the rage would hold back. He already nearly lost it with Akashi earlier today, and he wasn't worried about whatever Himuro was stating behind his back at that time.

Akashi. His eyes flashed to the clock which seemed to have sped up since he had gotten off the phone with Kise. It was not a big deal to have to call Akashi tomorrow, but he knew that he couldn't just call and try to explain everything over the phone. No, it wasn't fair. He had to see him again. He had to talk to him face-to-face. And that meant that he would have to call him now to let him know that he was going to make an attempt to see him tomorrow. Since his family had found out he ditched class today, he didn't have much hope that he would be able to ditch it tomorrow. And that meant Akashi would leave Akita before he had a change to fix everything between them.

"Apparently you weren't in class today." his brother sneered, oblivious to the fury rolling off his younger sibling. "And that's probably why Nori didn't-"

 

**_Bang!_ **

 

His entire family froze where they were, with the exception of Atsushi's older brother, Akira. He flew to the ground four feet away from where he previously stood, his nose and mouth covered in blood. Atsushi hadn't meant to hit him, let alone make him bleed, but the antagonism was beyond his limit and he had lost all control; like a tightly wound spring he finally couldn't handle the pressure and snapped. He stood with his arm stretched out, blood on the knuckles of his fist, staring out past his family.

His sister turned and raced from the room, running for their mother. His father had rushed to his brother's side, helping him sit up so the blood wouldn't flow down his throat. It had seemed so sudden that Atsushi had lost control. None of the Murasakibara family had been aware of what was being said, and it took all of them by surprise that their youngest had suddenly become violent. He was breathing deeply, the sound his fist had made against his brother's face repeating in his mind, the cracking soothing him in a way he was never aware of before.


	4. The Beast and the Harlot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

**Chapter 4 - The Beast and the Harlot:**

(Wednesday – October 12th - Evening - Continued)

Atsushi's eldest brother strode forwards, stepping into the kitchen wearing a dark leather jacket and heavy boots, his violet hair rolled at the base of his neck in a bun and his long bangs hanging over his dark eyes. In spite of all the sudden commotion, his heavy footsteps loud in the silence of the shocked family atmosphere, and he seemed unafraid as he came to rest his hands on Atsushi's shoulders.

Atsushi flinched and blinked, opening his eyes wide. He had gone into the black and jumped when he felt calm hands grab a hold of him and aggressively steer him from the room. His head was forced into the armpit of a taller, stronger man, most likely so he wouldn't see the damage he caused, and was led from the room. The man smelt of sweat, salt, and cedar wood spice, and had taken him down the walkway to their front door and just outside their fence to stand in the cool night air.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked, his voice a deep, smooth tenor and a large hand was shoved in his face.

Atsushi glared, annoyed. He wasn't in the mood for these games with his father, then his eyes widened with surprise as he recognized the hand by the black painted fingernails. It was his eldest brother, Fuji, that had dragged him out of the house.

"Why do I even-"

His older brother slapped the hand he held up away.

"How many fingers?" he pressed.

"Two."

"Now?"

"Three!"

"Now?"

"One! What is the point of this?!"

"Because I want to make sure you are in control of your emotions!"

Atsushi rolled his eyes, but he knew his brother was right. Once he was out of control, it wouldn't matter how many fingers his brother held up, all that would matter is that he would be too close to another human in the moment for them to be safe.

He turned away, pinching his nose between his thumb and forefinger and focused all his thoughts onto keeping his breathing stable. Slowly, after several minutes, he felt his muscles unwind and his shoulders slumped. When the air began to taste clean again and the fatigue began to set in from his body beginning to run off adrenaline, he opened his eyes and dropped his hand. His brother hadn't moved.

"Better?"

"Yes."

Since the hostility had left his body, shame came creeping in to take its place. A faint blush streaked across his cheeks and he turned his face down to stare at the lines in the pavement.

"How-" his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "How bad is it?"

"Bad enough."

"Are you...trying to calm me down?"

"More or less."

"Why aren't you yelling at me?"

"Because it wouldn't help."

Atsushi stared at his brother in admiration. He didn't think twice about his words. It dawned on him that his oldest brother would have had the opportunity to watch him and all his other siblings grow to the point he was at now, and he himself knew very little of his elder the other way around.

"Fuji-"

"Atsushi. Don't."

He stayed his tongue. It was very rare for him to speak with his eldest sibling, more now than ever since he had been under the impression that Fuji was living in Tokyo while studying to be an engineer at the Tokyo Institute of Technology.

"Atsushi. You must not know much about me. You weren't born until much later in my life, and your childhood would easily be my teenage years. And I wasn't home much for you to see all that. But you remind me of myself at that age: rebellious, carefree, arrogant. Don't be angry with me, it's the truth. Hear out what I have to say. I know what it's like going through what you're going through. And I know there must be more than just what's being seen at the surface. Why do you think our parents aren't at their wits ends with you? They've gone through worse with me. And that's why I'm pulling you aside now; because I don't want someone else being in my place. I didn't have an older brother giving me this advice. I had an officer of the law pulling me aside and telling me this.

"What I'm asking you, Atsushi, is to learn to control that temper of yours. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you. Even if I'm in Tokyo, I'm just a call away. So if you want to, tell me what's bothering you. You are not alone."

Confusion clouded over Atsushi's thoughts. It had been a long time since he had paid attention to that many words from anyone in his family. The information given to him seemed to override many of his previous thoughts. He wasn't sure if he should answer or ask one of the questions that formed in his mind.

"Fuji-chin? How bad were you?"

"Bad enough. I got angry fast. It started out innocent enough: swearing people and flipping them off. But I didn't learn to control it, and with my temper and huge size, well, it was a recipe for disaster. I didn't mean to hurt people as badly as I did, but they are just  _fragile_  to me. When I started breaking bones, well, that's when the police got involved. And that's when I realized how bad it was. Arms and legs, yeah, they heal. But break someone's neck or spine, and they can be damaged for life, Atsushi. Or die. I forced myself to listen more, to discover my triggers and walk away from them. And I was very hurt over the death of my twin, so naturally it was my biggest source of discomfort. Which leads us back to you, Atsushi. What is bothering  _you_? Because in my past experience, it was someone – or rather the lack of someone – who was causing me pain."

Atsushi spat and turned to rest his arms on the gate. He knew it was serious if Fuji would bring up their deceased sister.

"It's Aka-chin." he sighed, giving in. "He's...been on my mind of late."

"I don't mean to pry, but is he only on your mind, little brother?" Fuji waited a small moment, turning to lean gently on the fence as well. "What made you hit our brother then? I doubt he came to say something about Akashi out of the blue."

Atsushi turned pink in the cheeks. "Well, you caught me. I skipped class today to see Aka-chin because he's in town and Akira was going to rat me out."

"And that's bad not because you ditched school but because that means you would get Akashi in trouble, right?"

"More or less."

Fuji sighed.

"Give me your phone."

"What?"

"I'm going to call Akashi and talk to him. You can't be ditching school for him, but I can see too clearly how messed up you are over him. This-" He pointed out Murasakibara's outfit, his black-rimmed eyes, and his glare. "It's because he broke it off with you, didn't he?"

"It was never like that." Atsushi whisper, feigning innocence and looking away.

"I was a teenager too, Atsushi. And I ran with a crowd worse than a basketball club."

Atsushi blushed and tried to lie over his lie. "It was a mutual break up."

"Really? Because if you really consented to it, I'd think you would handle yourself better. Don't think we're all blind, Atsushi. I wasn't even here and I knew how you abruptly your behaviour changed and you stopped talking to all of your old friends, even Kise!"

Atsushi barely noticed the blush on Fuji-chin's cheeks as said Kise's name.

"It's not because of Aka-chin."

"Damn right it is! You've been ignoring everything and any one that will remind you of him. You even threw away Aiko's shirt because it was from Teiko! She told me about that."

Atsushi blushed. He hadn't been aware that he had been so obvious in his attempt to forget anything to do with Akashi. He himself had barely been aware that had been what he was attempting to do in the first place. But since Fuji was forcing him to recall his actions and find the motivation behind them, it began to make sense: he had been trying to hide from anything that would trigger him to remember Akashi. He was surprised that he hadn't quit basketball, but then he realized that had been one of the reasons he had been attending Yosen high.

"Was it really easy to pick up?" he asked, surprised by the harsh reality check that Fuji had given him. He himself hadn't noticed it, so he had assumed that everyone was blind to it as well.

Fuji just nodded, folding his arms across his chest. "I wasn't here, Atsushi. And it was obvious even to me. Dad just had to tell me what you did and I could finish his sentence about the reason why. Now let me call Akashi so that we can go inside and you can get up and meet him tomorrow."

"Really?! You aren't going to rat me out?!" Atsushi looked up at his eldest brother, amazed by what he was hearing. He was going to let him see Akashi again? He would give him the chance to straighten this entire mess Himuro had created out?

"I was in your boat at one point, Atsushi. I know what needs to get done to begin fixing what needs fixing. I wasn't so fortunate to simply have to speak to someone about a mistake; that mistake cost me our sister. I had to face many legal hurdles before that one was resolved. Consider yourself lucky."

Atsushi blushed, but he couldn't keep the grin off his face. He hadn't expected Fuji would be willing to help him and let him skip school to meet with Akashi. Again the guilt set in and he found himself hanging his head in shame. "Thank you, Fuji. I- I really don't know what to say. I- I should apologize to Akira."

"You will."

With some reluctance, Atsushi reached into the pocket of his overalls and handed his phone over with any protest. He couldn't find it in himself to lift himself up, so he motioned that he would prefer if Fuji spoke to Akashi further down the street. He didn't want to hear the conversation; it would replay in his mind over and over until the first rays of the sun came up.

His brother nodded and walked away with the phone already at his ear. He spoke on the phone for several minutes, nodding at several points and looking away down the street so he wouldn't meet eyes with his younger brother. Afterwards, he caught up to Atsushi, glad to see his younger brother had finally found the strength to stand up straight again and no longer lean on their already-unstable fence. He handed back the small phone and smiled in the darkness. His hand went to his hair, sweeping his bangs back over his face, and he revealed the short action of placing a cigarette to his lips. He caught himself and put his hand in the pocket, his long bangs falling back into place where they were.

"Old habits die hard, eh?" He broke the silence with a grin, trying not to downplay his action and not at all ashamed that Atsushi caught him doing it.

"Fuji-chin?"

"Hmm?"

Atsushi hesitated for a moment and switched his question at the last minute. "You used to smoke?"

Fuji nodded and kicked a stone lightly, watching as it skidded down the road for a moment. "I used to use it as a way to curb my anger. It forced me to breathe, and that calmed me down."

Atsushi chewed on his answer for a while, trying to recall what he had been thinking of when Fuji had arrived.

"Kise-chin?"

"I'm hoping you won't go there, Mukkun." There was an edge to the reply.

"You singled him out by name-"

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering, why is that?"

"He talked to you the most. Came over a lot more often."

"You blushed."

Fuji blushed again and he ran his hand through his hair once more. "You are more observant than I give credit for."

"Well?"

"I liked it when you had Kise-chin over. Or when I'd seen him in your games. He's...a good reminder that there is some good in this world."

"You  _like_  Kise-chin?"

Fuji blushed and looked away. He shrugged then, and it seemed like for a moment he wanted to say something, then thought better of it. "I won't deny it."

"You  _like_  Kise-chin." Murasakibara muttered in disbelief. "Wow!"

"Don't you want to know what Akashi said?" Fuji replied, leaving the words hanging there for Atsushi to take as bait and distract him from the fact that he had just revealed he had a crush on his youngest brother's male model best friend.

"Yes!"

Fuji smiled at the eagerness his brother held for the small boy. He pressed his lips together and went on to explain. "He was quite reluctant to meet you again. I don't know  _what_  you did, but he was trying his best to be polite about it."

"But did he agree?!"

"Yes. After some persuasion. He kept saying that it was a good idea if you kept your distance from him. You better not have shown your temper to  _him_."

"I didn't, I swear it!" Atsushi realized he was shouting. He blushed and lowered his voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

Fuji raised a hand. "Peace. You're learning control."

Atsushi smiled. It was easy to be around Fuji-chin; he was not at all as cold as he appeared. He was really down to earth, and Atsushi was very grateful that he was with him. He was surprised by how much he missed his oldest brother since he moved to Tokyo, and it dawned on him that he wasn't entirely sure why he was back.

"Thank you, Fuji-chin. But...what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Tokyo?"

"It is no problem, little brother." Fuji smiled, "And I guess so. I took the term off, actually. I missed home, I missed  _you_. I thought it would be a good experience for you, being the baby and all, to get to hang out with me for a lil' bit – especially after I heard so much about how you were. I did a few extra courses each term, so I think I deserve a break. I actually told mum and dad I would be coming this week, but I guess they forgot to tell you."

Atsushi blushed, "I might have been avoiding them." He confessed.

"Ah, I see." Fuji replied in a teasing voice. He put a hand on Atsushi's shoulder and held his youngest sibling close; it was a special kind of bond that they alone shared in their family. No one else had been so wild or so big. But the thought of having another to be in company with was a pleasing thought to him. And he was glad that despite the storm, the calm would soon be coming.

"Maybe I'll invite Kise-chin over sometime?" Atsushi mumbled into Fuji-chin's shoulder. "Before you return to Tokyo?"

"That would be nice." Fuji commented. He knew Atsushi was only trying to tease him, but he would let it go just this once. He would let his younger brother grow a few more inches to even their sizes out before he would rough-play with him again; it was still too tempting to break a finger or two.

 

* * *

 

Thursday, October 13th

It was an exhausting night and Atsushi was glad it was over when he awoke in the morning. Most of his dreams had been plagued by the events after he had entered the house with Fuji. He had headed back into the kitchen where his parents and Nori sat, the latter with an ice pack over much of his face.

He had blushed and swept the hair from his face so they were sure he was being sincere. His eldest brother had stood by his side, putting a hand on his shoulder as he spoke in a rush about how he felt ashamed and sorry for his unforgivable act of violence. His mother had sobbed, his father had glared, but the worst was when Akira had spoke in a strained voice that he forgave him for his actions.

In the end they hugged it out, in the way only two brothers could, and Atsushi went to bed without any more food. His parents were still displeased with him, he could feel their disapproval and concern, but they hadn't yelled at him, and he wasn't entirely sure if he would have felt better if they had. Fuji had stayed up with their parents, the three of them speaking late into the night in quiet voices. Nori stayed in another room that night to give Atsushi some space and allow him to calm down, and he was grateful for the solitude. He was sure that if Nori stayed, his mind would play tricks on him and distort his reality so that he would listen to hear him struggling to breathe with a swollen face, and he would have puked out of the disgust he held for himself as he mentally tormented himself about Akira's injury all through the night. He wondered what Fuji had told Akashi when he had called to make him agree to seeing him, but he was sure that it was going to be confusing enough to have to explain everything about Himuro with him too.

Since his mind wouldn't shut down, he kept his hands busy by creating the vision he had seen in his mind earlier that day when he was with Akashi, another gift he wanted to present to him before he left Akita. While his hands worked, he forced himself to reflect on Kise-chin's life at present and decided he would have to see him eventually anyways. Kise-chin hadn't forgotten him, and he was glad to be back in touch with him. It was early in the morning when he had finally pulled himself away from his small desk and to his pillow, content with his work.

He got out of bed not many hours later, feeling and looking like he had stayed up all night, and rushed to get ready for school. Fuji was still at the kitchen table when he had come down, which surprised Murasakibara; he wasn't sure if his brother had gone to bed at all last night.

Fuji held a coffee mug up in a greeting and winked, already in on the plan to double back. Atsushi wasn't sure if his brother would be waiting for him when he returned in twenty minutes, but since he had just returned from Tokyo he figured Fuji wouldn't have anywhere he immediately had to go to.

Atsushi shouldered his bag and walked down the block. Nori had taken the twin with him, wanting to make sure Akira was well enough to go out today. Atsushi desperately hoped so, at least for the morning. He feared that he wouldn't be able to control another close call with his brother, who was ironically too nosey for his own good.

Atsushi circled the block this time, not wanting to have to sit still for too long. He impatiently checked his wristwatch for the time over and over, and circled the block once more, walking with his board in his hand to keep from going too far too fast. He headed back home when he was sure the anxiety was eating a hole in his stomach lining. He didn't want to run into his parents leaving, but he was sick of being stared at by strangers in his school uniform and risk having the school be called again.

His parents had left and, surprisingly, so had his brother. The house was empty. A folded piece of paper left on his bed wished him good luck and reminded him to keep his temper in check. It was signed  _Fuji_  with a badly drawn smiley face, which made Murasakibara smile, and he put the note under his pillow so he could have a laugh at the face whenever he felt down again. He understood Fuji's actions: he had planned not to go with Atsushi the entire time, understanding that his relationship with Akashi was personal and too intimate to be supervised. By leaving the house before Atsushi returned, he granted him the small gift of solitude he would need to feel under control of himself and check his emotions again, without feeling as though he was a prisoner.

He switched his bags and his clothes, knowing that he was less suspicious this way, and was on his board again. The fact that he was allowed to go see Akashi alone rose his spirits, and he was weaving recklessly through the narrow sidewalks, under the store front zonings, and alongside the traffic in no time, hurrying to meet with the redhead. The wind blew his hair back, the music was cranked up, and he felt the freedom of just letting everything go. Memories bit at the back of his mind, but as he whizzed past faces and buildings he shook them off easily. He visualized each memory like a candy wrapper and imagined he was dropping them behind him as he raced onwards. It made him smile.

He wrapped his mind around the music, listening to the screams and feeling the blood pumping in his veins as he forced his body to balance out the board. The screaming set his mind free, and he suddenly felt like it was freedom he wanted to share with another, to share with Akashi.

He jumped the board onto the sidewalk and flipped the back of it into his hand as he raced into the entrance of the hotel. His black t-shirt had clung to his body with the wind pressing against it, but now it loosened and hugged him snuggly, being one of his smaller designs. The bright white spider's web extending over his left shoulder was cracked and fading, but he loved the shirt dearly. In his cockiest manner his adoration of the shirt was primarily because of its sizing and how it showed off his muscles best, with the white lines dipping in all the right places.

The hotel staff paid no attention to him as he crossed the lobby and took the stairs two at a time to get to Akashi. In his upbeat mood, he visualized himself in shiny, silver armor dashing up the stairs to save a distressed Akashi held hostage by some rouge beast. He snickered at the thought, finding it amusing because Akashi would never be so useless, and slowed down since he didn't want to get all sweaty before he saw him.

Akashi was in the bedroom, brushing his hair with his fingers and trying to spike the red strands in a messy style. He didn't use any product, just water, and the effect was rather striking. Against his pale skin, he had painted a sharp contrast with dark eyeliner and his vivid hair gave him the look of a rag doll. He sighed and smiled at the mirror, not sure if he would ever be satisfied with the image, but was glad that he appeared more to Atsushi's current style with his hair and makeup done this way. When there was a knock at the door, he turned away to answer it and was determined not to worry about the mirror again.

The door swung open and Murasakibara held his breath. He didn't wait to cross over the threshold and wrap his arms around Akashi. The smaller boy was shocked at his bold move, but he wrapped his arms around his former center in surrender, knowing that rejecting him wouldn't matter at this point; the man was so huge any attempt to reject him would be pointless. He had planned to maintain a distance between the pair of them, to make it clear that they wouldn't be touching, but with Murasakibara's arrogant attitude there was little he could do to oppose him.

The two fit together like puzzle pieces and it was a moment before Murasakibara released Akashi from his grip. The first words out of Murasakibara mouth soured Akashi's indifference to the hug.

"I'm so sorry, Aka-chin!"

Without waiting for an explanation, Akashi took advantage of Murasakibara's face being so close to his and smacked him hard, his palm stinging from the impact.

Murasakibara's face stayed turned. He breathed in through his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. The note on his bed flashed before his eyes and he fought to stay calm. He had been happy and now he was ready to tear Akashi's throat out. The testosterone in his body raged suddenly, spiking high and soaring above logic. He forced himself to swallow and shook his head.

Akashi stepped back. He hadn't realized his actions would prompt a physical response. He watched as Murasakibara's hands clenched into fists and his shoulders shook.

It was some time before Murasakibara looked at him, his temper once more under control.

"Sorry about that too." He gruffly spoke, still clearly calming down.

"Yeah." Akashi agreed, this time accepting the apology. "So am I."

"What was that for?"

Akashi smiled. "You ruined the moment."

Murasakibara smiled and then started laughing. "I suppose I did. Guess I deserved that then."

They both smiled and then Akashi turned and led them to the table. Murasakibara closed the door and took the same seat he sat in yesterday. His eyes ran up and down Akashi's body and he bit his bottom lip. Perhaps it was the lyrics in his music, or perhaps it was because he was no longer the shy boy Akashi had once known, but he found Akashi's small body rather sexy now. His eyes drank in his slender waist and long limbs in quiet appreciation before he hurried to hide the growing lust from his eyes.

Instead, he fished in his bag to give himself some time to cover his mood. He pulled out a small velvet bag and handed it to Akashi.

"Here."

Akashi took the bag curiously and shook the contents out carefully. Inside were four Japanese towers, two inches tall. Alongside them were four identical towers an inch tall. And six small squares with kanji scribed on them. Akashi starred at the intricately designed pieces of wood; half painted blood red and the other half ivory white. They were the items Murasakibara had spent most of last night working on.

"Oshi pieces?!" he gasped, surprised.

Murasakibara nodded and smiled. "Do you like them?"

"Yes!" Akashi touched each piece, picking them up as if they were delicate flower heads. "They're beautiful, Murasakibara! Thank you!"

Murasakibara blushed and nodded. "My pleasure."

Akashi set them up on the board in their home places. The pair stared at the board for a moment before Murasakibara cleared his throat.

"Akashi. I wanted to talk to you-"

Akashi held up a hand.

"Hang on."

He reached out and moved a medium tower two squares left. "Your turn."

Murasakibara smiled. He had caught Akashi's attention in his gift and this was something he could live with. For now. He stared at the board for a long moment, pretending to think of a strategic move, before he looked up at Akashi and grinned.

"So, what are the rules?"

Akashi rolled his eyes and stood up, heading over to the bedroom and returning in a moment with his cell phone. Acting out with the small instructions they found on the internet, the pair tried out their new game for the next several hours. Akashi had won every game, though they weren't sure which ones counted as official wins yet since different web sites had variations of the official rules. Akashi decided he would search for a book or manual that would have official rules in them that they could judge by later and order it, which made Murasakibara happy: it meant that Akashi had planned to play Oshi with him again, and that meant seeing each other again. For the most part they only moved the towers in one direction the number of spaces they were each permitted, until they had to forfeit the piece off the board. Murasakibara chuckled as they reached their third stalemate.

"Looks like I'm better at this than Shogi." he grinned.

"It must be the physics of the game rather than the logic." Akashi murmured, trying to find a way out of the gridlock. He scowled when he found no way out and waved his hand. "Reset this."

Murasakibara pouted. "I'm hungry, Aka-chin."

Akashi smiled and looked at the clock.

"It is about lunchtime." He stared at the iris-haired man across the table from him. "How about we go out for lunch?"

Murasakibara nodded eagerly, his hair whipping about his face.

Akashi smiled. It felt strangely good to be around his ex, though he was sure that it was because Atsushi had changed his attitude. He wondered if he would get him in trouble if he was to be sighted outside of school but the larger man didn't seem to care so he didn't bother to burden himself about it.

Akashi wrapped a red blazer around his shoulders, not bothering to put his arms through, and they left the hotel room. Murasakibara bit his tongue, reaching out to hold Akashi's hand in his. Akashi shook Murasakibara off and put his hands in his pants pockets. He could tell it angered Atsushi, but he knew it wouldn't trigger him in the same way the slap had.

"What do you want to eat, Aka-chin?"

"Oh, I'm not sure. You don't remember my tastes, Atsushi?"

" 'A place where the dessert is the best part of the menu.' " Atsushi snickered, quoting Akashi from their first dinner out. It pleased him that Akashi had the same sweet tooth he had.

Akashi smirked, impressed that Atsushi had remembered his answer word-for-word, and they took the stairs, walking down at a pace that would let their footsteps ring out. They walked out of the hotel and down the road, to where Atsushi knew there was a great dessert parlor.

Akashi felt paranoid as they walked down the road, fearing that someone would pull on Atsushi's sleeve and accuse him of skipping out. Atsushi was on his skateboard, but for once he was only coasting slowly. Akashi had never seen him boarding, and it amused him to see a man so tall be so fearless on such a deathtrap. Akashi watched as he glided, like a courageous warrior alongside him. He wondered how Atsushi would appear, flying down the streets with his lavender hair playing in the wind from his speed. It was a surprisingly short walk, and because he was distracted by his ex skateboarding, he didn't notice they had arrived so soon until Murasakibara kicked the back of the board up and into his waiting palm. To Akashi's relief they entered the restaurant without disturbance.

Murasakibara smiled and reached for Akashi's hand on the tabletop. Akashi pulled away but just enough so that only their fingertips were touching. His perfectly filed nails grazed gently over Murasakibara's knuckles for a moment before he rested his fingers on the table and sighed.

"Aka-chin."

"Atsushi. Don't do this."

Murasakibara frowned. Their waiter came over then and Akashi flashed him a dazzling smile. Murasakibara felt nausea build in his stomach and acid swell between his lips. He wanted to get up and smack the waiter and send him flying as far as physically possible from Akashi. It wasn't fair that he got that smile from Akashi, it was the same smile that Akashi used to give him. He wanted that smile from Akashi. He wanted it badly. He wanted it only for himself.

"I would love to have the chocolate fudge pie, topped with raspberries please." Akashi informed the waiter flirtatiously.

Murasakibara hid his shaking hands under the table. He forced himself to spit out an order, determined not to let the waiter get to him. He could read flirtation in the stranger's eyes as he turned and left the table, addressing Akashi only when he replied with a saucy "I'll be right back."

Murasakibara pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed in and out. His brother said this would get easier, but it only felt to be getting worse. Perhaps it would take him a long time?

Akashi waited for him to clear his head, but by that time the waiter was back and he was angry again. Murasakibara glared at his retreating back, trying his hardest to keep his temper in check enough to keep his dessert on the table and not splattered at the back of the waiter's head.

Akashi ate a small forkful and smiled sweetly as Atsushi. It pissed him off that he only was getting the decent side of Akashi, the sweet little side he reserved for teachers and parents. He rolled his eyes and took a huge bite out of the cake on his own plate, having ordered a double-chocolate devil cake with cherry filling and chocolate icing.

Akashi giggled and reached forward to finger the icing he smeared on his lips. He held his finger out to Atsushi for him to lick, and when he failed to respond, stuck the finger in his own mouth and licked the icing off himself. Atsushi felt his stomach tighten for another reason and his crotch filled with heat. He wanted nothing more than to throw the table between them out of the way. Or better, pin Akashi against it.

Akashi smiled sweetly again and Atsushi's heart melted into a puddle of heat. He wasn't over Akashi, he never was and he probably never will be. It was foolish for him to think that he could build a brick wall around his heart and bury these emotions. It was folly to even try.

"I'm sorry I brought you out for dessert." Akashi began, not meeting Murasakibara's eyes as he cut into his pie. "I know you were hungry and here I am, feeding you sugar."

"It's chocolate and cherries," Murasakibara shrugged, "It's technically food. Besides, I eat well enough every day to have a cake for lunch today."

Akashi smiled, then kept him speechless until they were done their dessert. Because it was a good day out, Atsushi proposed that they walk around a park and then head back. Akashi agreed, and Murasakibara was overwhelmed by his answer but was glad he accepted, wanting nothing more than to spend more time with Akashi. A small voice at the back of his mind screamed at him to talk to Akashi before they ran out of time together. He wasn't sure how keen Akashi was on the idea of long-distance, but he would rather have his name down and his spot taken, rather than risk someone else seeing an opportunity and taking it away from him...again.

Without giving Akashi a chance to avoid him, he took his hand in his own as they stepped out of the restaurant. His long fingers wrapped around Akashi's slender ones and warmed the smaller man's pale hand. Akashi blushed and mumbled his name, hoping in vain it would be a worthy protest, but Atsushi didn't bother to let go. He wanted to clear things up with Akashi, before they could get any more out of his control. While Akashi was still overwhelmed and getting used to this new Murasakibara, he wanted to seize the opportunity to correct his mistakes of the past and prove to Akashi that he wanted a future with him.

He guided Akashi down the street, holding the redhead's hand in one of his and his skateboard in the other. The world around them seemed brighter, or perhaps Murasakibara's appreciation for it had changed since Akashi was with him. He hadn't been able to bring up the subject in the restaurant, so he heaved a sighed and looked down at the smaller man beside him.

"Aka-chin?"

"Yes, Atsushi?"

"I-I want to talk to you about Teiko."

Akashi's smile faltered but he put on a brave face. His voice was rough. He knew it was inevitable to talk to Atsushi about the subject, since it painfully continued to come up, but he hoped that by playing naive enough the titan-sized man would eventually lose his persistency. "What about Teiko?"

" _Us_  at Teiko."

Akashi sucked in a breath and heaved a sigh. "You know, Atsushi, I don't think that is such a good idea."

Murasakibara felt like they were back in the locker room, after everyone had left. Akashi would have been putting his clean long-sleeve shirt on after the shower – the light grey one he wore to go home. It fit him snuggly and made it harder for Murasakibara to get his words out then as well. He felt the man in him slipping down into the child he once was.

Atsushi shook his head and steeled his heart with the armor he had acquired since starting Yosen. He was sick of girls throwing themselves at him, hoping that their large chests or long curls would be enough to satisfy him into a relationship. He was sick of his team screaming at him to get his attitude in check and his head in the game. And he was sick to the point of disgust with Himuro telling stories and starting rumours behind his back, just because he found out that Atsushi wasn't interested in women. He rolled his violet eyes and gave Akashi's hand a little tug, knowing from experience just how much force to use to not hurt the smaller boy. Akashi stopped and turned, staring into Atsushi's eyes as they stood frozen on the street.

"I  _need_  to talk to you about it. Because whatever you're hearing about me now, whatever you've been told, it's  _wrong_!" Murasakibara spoke through gritted teeth. He wanted nothing more than to wrap Akashi up in his arms and kiss him right then and there.

Akashi seemed prepared for this type of response. His eyes didn't move from Atsushi's. "Atsushi, it's alright. We both moved on, right? You don't need to pretend or try to spare my feelings."

Atsushi's eyes welled with tears and shook his head in disbelief. He wanted to slap Akashi hard and watch his face turn sharply. He wanted to see his cheek bright red to mirror the intensity of the hurt Akashi had just caused him. He wanted to make him feel the pain that his words had cut into Atsushi's heart. But he forced his shaking hands to reside safely in his pockets. If he were to harm Akashi, in any way, it was all over. His love, his life, it would all be forfeit.

He breathed in his nose and out his mouth very meaningfully and when it didn't help shake off the shivers, he held his hair back from his face and walked in a small circle. He tried to force back the tears and bit his lip, but all he managed to hold back was his sobs. Several crows bounced away from around them, leaving their food behind as they sensed the tension building. Their cawing only made him feel worse, the noise strange and disturbing to him.

Akashi watched Atsushi's reaction with curiosity. He wondered why the bigger man was reacting so strangely, but he didn't prompt for reasoning. He knew the larger man had a crush on him, feelings that he probably didn't have any closure for from back when they were Teiko students, but he was certain the man had moved on and found affection elsewhere. It really seemed out of the ordinary for Atsushi to react so confoundedly.

Atsushi choked a breath and let his hair fall into his face, his long arms wrapping around himself as if to hold himself together.

"You...you have a...a boyfriend, Aka-chin?"

Akashi smiled sweetly and opened his mouth. He hesitated, realizing he had two options: he could open his mouth and lie to Atsushi or he could tell him the truth. He wasn't sure which option Atsushi wanted to hear more: the one that would do him good in the long run or the one that would put his mind to ease right now.

He was about to answer when a pale hand grabbed Atsushi's shoulder from behind.

"Murasakibara, you shouldn't be here with that boy."

The voice was unfamiliar to Akashi but caused Atsushi's vision to flash red. He closed his eyes and began counting to ten. He knew he was dangerously close to going into the black and hurting someone again, the same way he had hurt Akira, maybe worse. Mainly because the one person he would gladly blame for this entire situation was now standing right behind him.

"What-" he hissed. "Are you doing here, Muro-chin?"

Akashi took a step back from the newcomer and his ex. He didn't like the way their conversation had turned: Atsushi was reacting rather hostilely to the new man.

A breathtakingly beautiful boy with black hair combed over one of his startlingly blue eyes clung to Murasakibara's back. He was taller than Akashi by a few inches, and was cute beyond all reasons. Akashi felt the competition between them immediately. He rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest, determined to play it cool and intimidate the boy. He might be pretty but he was no emperor.

Murasakibara shook the boy off and turned to face him. "Beat it, Muro-chin. You're  _not_  wanted here." He hated being rude to his teammate and friend, but Himuro had started it, staking a false claim.

"You shouldn't have ditched class, Murasakibara. The captain's mad at you." the blue-eyed boy taunted. "Besides, you missed practice."

Murasakibara got close to Himuro, so that his lips where just inches from his face. "I don't need you as a  _babysitter_ , Muro-chin. So scram!"

Akashi felt a thrill of adrenaline course through his body as he watch Murasakibara lash out at Himuro. He was glad he was angry with him, but he wasn't sure if it was because his appearance put Atsushi in an awkward situation or not. A shiver of excitement ran through Akashi, racing down his spine, and he suppressed the moan of desire that tried to escape his throat. Seeing Atsushi act so dominantly was thrilling.

"Why are you hanging out with this boy anyways? He's not anything to you anymore."

"Watch your  _fucking_  words, Himuro." Murasakibara warned him, dropping his friendly nickname for the man entirely, before he turned around and began walking towards Akashi. He was determined to simply walk away and continue his conversation with Akashi elsewhere, but Himuro reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Don't! Let's just go back now. He's only going to cause you trouble."

" _You're_  the one causing me trouble, Himuro!"

"Murasakibara, please. Don't do this to me." The boy's blue eyes turned pleading. "You know how much I like you."

Murasakibara raised his fist and stuck out his middle finger at Himuro. "I don't care about you...like  _that_."

Himuro's face contorted with anger and he turned his gaze to glare at Akashi over Atsushi's shoulder before he met the amethyst gaze of his crush. "Don't be unfair, Murasakibara. What does he have that I don't? I bet he won't even suck you off."

"Just  _shut_  your  _fucking_  mouth, Himuro! Leave Akashi alone!" Murasakibara shouted at him. He turned to face Himuro, who reached out at that moment and slapped him hard across the face, trying to dominate the man in front of the redhead in an attempt to show off his control over the former captain's player.

Murasakibara snapped. He turned and grabbed Himuro by the throat and slammed him up against the wall of a store.

Akashi took a step back. There was a murderous glint in Atsushi's eyes he hadn't noticed before. His strong arms easily held the man off the ground, and despite seeing the danger before his very eyes, Akashi found himself distracted by the large man's sheer strength. And then he began to see the larger picture of the situation, he began to see the danger that would accompany that strength, that uncontrollable strength.

"So...we're gonna fight...over this boy? Is that...how it is?" Himuro glared at Akashi over Murasakibara's shoulder. He struggled to get the giant's hand away from his throat and gasped for breath. Murasakibara glared at him, watching as the life slowly drained from his eyes, before releasing him and letting him fall to the ground.

"Stay the fuck  _away_  from me." He muttered.

Murasakibara turned and began to walk towards Akashi and stopped when he noticed the fear in Akashi's eyes. The redhead's heterochromic eyes screamed what he was thinking: he had slapped Murasakibara this morning. As he stared at the gasping Himuro picking himself up off the street with wide eyes, Akashi wondered how narrowly had he missed being crushed the same way.

Murasakibara looked over his shoulder at Himuro and back to Akashi. He put both hands up, palms out, and began taking small steps closer.

"I won't hurt you Aka-chin. You don't need to be scared."

"Stay away from me." Akashi's voice was barely a whisper. He found himself taking a step back, one after the other.

Himuro reached out and tugged on Murasakibara's hand. "Come home with me- Atsushi!"

Murasakibara's face distorted in pain. He reached out to Akashi, jerking his hand out of Himuro's reach without even sparing him a glance. "Please, don't go Aka-chin! I-I only just got you back!"

Himuro tugged on Murasakibara's arm and Akashi's eyes filled with pain. "Stay away from me!" He called as he turned and began running, tears streaming down his face. He didn't know where he was headed, but his head ached with pressure of their conversation and the sudden argument and his heart ached with the realization that Murasakibara had indeed turned into an uncontrollable monster.

Murasakibara watched him run and made to take after him. He flipped his board to the ground and had one foot on it, when Himuro's hands gripped the tail end of the board, keeping him from leaving.

"Please!" Himuro begged. "Stay with me! Choose  _me_!"

Murasakibara screamed and jumped off the board, taking a step towards Himuro and pulling his arm back, his hand already curling into a tight fist to attack the pretty boy's face with. He didn't care if he hurt him, he  _wanted_ to hurt him for driving Akashi away, and so he didn't flinch when his arm made contact with something weighty. There was a loud, choked gurgle and Murasakibara's eyes went wide as he turned to face what he had struck, since he hadn't followed through with his punch just yet. He glanced first to Himuro, who was staring at him in shock. The pair of them glared at each other and then looked behind Murasakibara to find the body of a bloody crow lying against the pavement; it's wings were crooked and crumpled at an unnatural angle, it's legs were pointing upwards, and its face was lying in a puddle of crimson blood pooling on the sidewalk.


	5. The Light to Your Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

**Chapter 5 - The Light To Your Darkness:**

(Thursday, October 13th - Afternoon - Continued)

The streets were crowded, giving off a feeling of claustrophobia mixed with paranoia. Adult faces turned to face them with horrified expressions, some heavy with concern. Hands reached out for him several times, but Akashi kept his head down and just kept running, pushing them away whenever they got too near. He didn't know these people. He didn't know these streets. He didn't know this city. He felt like a rabbit running through a foreign town: small and insignificant. It was a mistake coming to Akita. It was a mistake to care about Murasakibara.

Muscle memory kept him going. While his head throbbed with confusion, his body reacted as he was trained to: legs moving forwards, fingers long and straight, oxygen coming in short even breaths. Just like the beep test at school, his line-touches during practice, and crossing the distant of the court during his basketball games, Akashi sprinted past everyone, past everything, searching for what he could call home in this place, what was familiar and safe.

Everything seemed like a blur until the little white door with the golden numbers 1404 was out of his way and he was back inside the cream-coloured room that housed him for two days, up at the top of the hotel. A sensation of relief washed over him as he locked the door and leaned his back against it. He could feel the sweat in his hairline and shuddered as it trickled down the back of his neck. He felt homesick; there was nothing more he wanted right now than to be in his own home, sharing some warm brandy with his father. But most of all, Akashi missed his mother.

He slumped down beside the door and let the feeling of mourning take over his mind. He missed her soft hands holding his face, and her smile. He missed her telling him it would all be alright, and the scent of sweetness he would inhale whenever she held him close to her so she could rub his back. He never found that scent anywhere. Years after her passing he was convinced that he wouldn't be able to remember the scent clearly enough to determine if he found the right one. It dawned on him, as he sat there yearning for the past to rewrite itself, that his mother had been gone for nine years. And of course she wasn't going to come back.

As hard as it was to accept, the only caring figure he had in his life had left him a long time ago. He felt his mouth sour with the taste of betrayal. She probably never wanted to leave him, but she did. And Akashi felt that in some ways, she had cheated him out of his future years: she wouldn't be around to see him graduate high school, to get his career, or to bring the same joy she brought to him to his future children. He thought one day of the faceless red-haired children he hoped he would have and forced himself off the floor. He had one parent left, and he would just have to make do with him, even if he was a stubborn, insensitive, calculating stone most of the time.

He grabbed the hotel phone and dialed a number he had memorized since childhood. It surprised him that his father answer on the second ring, but by chance he answered the out-of-area number believing it was someone calling for business.

"Hey, dad, it's me." Akashi answered his father's business greeting.

"Are you coming home yet?"

Akashi wrapped and unwrapped the phone cord around his finger. He hadn't expected this question, but then what had he expected? A question that asked about him, maybe a "how are you"? His father hadn't seen him in three days and all he had to ask was 'are you coming home yet?'

Akashi sucked the sob out of his throat and forced his voice to stay steady. He opened his mouth and mimed a stutter before finally replying.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll be home tonight."

"Good. That's what I want to hear from my son."

And there it was. That small stab of pride in his father's voice that made the whole phone call worthwhile. Akashi hated to admit it but that small measure of pride made his heart feel lighter and his head dizzy. A feeling of numbness coursed through his body, followed by warmth, and he smiled despite his self-disgust. Those two words that confirmed him to be his father's child were the closest form of affection he would get from his parents in the moment, and over many years he had grown so used to that he simply began accepting it.

"I'll see you soon." he choked out, and disconnected before his father could say more false truths that he would be inclined to believe.

He stood up and brushed the hair back from his face. The Oshi board was sitting on the table, the delicate pieces lying atop, begging for a game. Akashi thought to swipe it off the table and pack it away, but he decided he would shower first. He sighed and headed to the bathroom: it was time to leave Akita - and Murasakibara - behind.

 

* * *

 

Murasakibara felt his face grow hot as people crowded the sidewalk in hopes to see what was going on. Three police cruisers had cut off access for the public to get close, but as he sat with his feet on his skateboard, perched on the curb of the street with his long hair in his face, he felt as if the world was spinning sideways and everyone was blaming him for it. An officer had taken Himuro further down the street and was asking him questions. No one had bothered asking him any. He was order to sit there and wait, and was being watched by two officers having a conversation about what they had pieced together so far. They caught him glancing at them and the female officer scowled. The male followed her gaze and chuckled.

"They're just teenage boys." he heard him say. "They'll get into scraps like this all the time. We all did."

The female rolled her eye and said something too low to hear. Murasakibara yearned to pull his headphones up and switch his music on, but with his hands bound behind his back in handcuffs it was impossible for him to even move his arms slightly to the right or left. He couldn't stand to hear any more be said but he wasn't able to block it all out, and in this moment Murasakibara felt the lowest he had ever felt. He wondered how he ever let himself fall so out of control of his own life. He tapped his foot to the music he could remember in his head and mouthed the lyrics, not wanting to sing them in case any officers overheard and overreacted. He supposed to anyone looking in on him, attempting to drown out the world with a song he was listening to by memory, he would look insane.

A fourth officer who had been asking witnesses what had happened came over and tapped him on the shoulder. Murasakibara jolted out of his focus on music and looked up. He didn't say anything, but his violet eyes reflected his fear clearly.

"You're not going to be in any lasting trouble." The officer smiled down at him. "But I am going to drive you home and talk to your parents."

"Can my older brother be there too? Please?"

The officer smiled. "Is he home?"

Murasakibara flipped his hand over to check his watch as a reflex but with his hands behind his back, it didn't matter. "I hope so." he murmured, his voice low and full of remorse.

The officer smiled and waved at the other speaking with Himuro. The female officer waved back at him as she got into one of the police cruisers and left the scene. Murasakibara struggled to pick up his skateboard since the officer still hadn't removed the cuffs, and whether it was out of pity or understanding the officer took the skateboard from Murasakibara and held him by the arm, helping him stand up with his hands still bound.

Murasakibara was tired of all the arguing and had sunken into a depression almost an hour ago over the realization that Akashi would most likely be too terrified to be with him now. And Akashi had said he moved on already; it was probably a futile effort from the beginning. If anything, this entire ordeal with Himuro would have only served to reinforce Akashi's reasons to move on, perhaps even make him  _happier_  to be with someone else. Murasakibara felt tears well up in his eyes. He looked towards the sky and blinked the back. If there was anything in his life he would control right now, it was the fact that the police  _weren't_  going to see him cry.

It surprised him that the officer beside him was only four inches shorter than him, walking casually beside him at six foot six. The officer unlocked the back door and Murasakibara blushed as he crawled in. The officer helped him by placing a hand on the back of his head so that he wouldn't hurt himself curling up to get into the back of the car, and afterwards placed his skateboard in the car on the floor under his feet; it went against regulations since it could be used for violence, but the officer pitied Murasakibara and since it was his first offence and he was truly remorseful, he didn't want to traumatize him. He got in front and started the car, then paused for a moment to stare at Atsushi in the rearview mirror as he pulled his seatbelt on.

"So, you're what? Sixteen?"

"Yep." Mukkun nodded, his feet finding his board and balancing on it. Just having his feet on the board made him feel grounded and reassured.

"And you're two-hundred centimeters? That's what, six...you've got to be around seven feet."

"Over. Two-hundred and eight."

"You realize how dangerous that can be, to be getting into fights with smaller boys, right?"

"I know." Murasakibara was sure the officer heard him, even though the words were barely a whisper through his shame.

The car was pulling away from the curb and Murasakibara caught sight of Himuro pointing at them. He seemed stressed and Murasakibara attempted to read his lips to decipher what he was saying; from his actions and what he appeared to be saying, Himuro seemed intent to know if they were arresting Atsushi.

It pained Murasakibara that his teammate was being tormented by the fact that he might have gotten his crush arrested, but he didn't want to pity him right now. Akashi had moved on and a weak voice at the back of his mind asked himself why hadn't he as he looked at Himuro, which he didn't want to feel. One of the last things he wanted to do was give up on Akashi, but the very last thing he wanted to do was give up on Akashi only to settle for Himuro. He would never want to give in to the rumour that had made Akashi hate him.

"You need to exercise more caution, son."

The officer's words drew him back into the present and brought him out of the direction his thoughts were taking him. The city was moving by outside the window, but Murasakibara didn't want to see the world through bars. He turned to look at the floor instead.

"Look, Atsushi is it?"

Murasakibara just nodded, knowing that officer was checking on him in the rearview mirror.

"I know what it's like, to be the bigger kid. I know it's difficult, you see the world differently, you have to constantly think of yourself fitting into it. Now, I don't know what  _exactly_ you two boys were fighting about, and I get the feeling that it's more intimate than both of you care to admit, but it seems you know each other and care about each other. You play basketball at the same school, that's what he said."

"Yeah."

"My colleague is going to be meeting us at your house. He's just driving...uh, what's his name?"

"Himuro."

"Yeah, he's just driving Himuro home."

"Does Himuro know that I'm...I'm...alright?" Murasakibara couldn't bring himself to say the word aloud.

The officer chuckled.

"Yeah. My partner will fill him in before he drops him off."

A silence fell in the car and Murasakibara heard the radio crackle. The officer picked it up and answered back, his words too fast and the codes meaningless to Murasakibara. After he put down the radio, he looked at the depressed boy in the back of his cruiser and spoke his name to get his attention.

"Don't let it get to you. We do this a lot in our jobs, son. Teenagers fighting isn't that uncommon. This isn't the end of the world. Just be careful and keep your hands to yourself in the future. I know it's tough, being a good person and having that kind of adrenaline; sometimes sports just don't cut it for an outlet. But you don't have to let it get to a point where you feel so trapped that violence is your only answer. And if you want to make the most of it, you can do something like I did, join the police force or the military or something. Use your size for something good."

Murasakibara felt a bitter smile form on his lips. The thought had caught him by surprise and he smiled up at the officer, wondering if he looked as manic as Akashi had been when he versed him in his one-on-one. Careers wasn't something he was focused on at the moment, but it was a welcome distraction from his broken heart and his soured social life. He recalled Aomine had spoken about policing as his dream career during their career days at Teiko, something about inspiring kids and protecting the peace. He wondered if he would like to do the same? Would he be able to help others in his position, or in need, or would he be more like his oldest brother and become hostile every time he encountered a man like the kind that ended his oldest sister's life?

The cruiser stopped in front of his family home and Atsushi felt his face grow hot as he was helped out of the car since he was still handcuffed, although the officer had been kind enough to help him out. The curtains had moved in the living room window and the officer had taken his skateboard from him so Atsushi didn't have to fumble with holding it as he walked up the short walk.

The officer escorted him to the door with a hold on his arm and his skateboard in the other. He didn't need to knock; the door was already opened and his parents had stepped out. He father looked angry and his mother look sad. She opened the door behind her and poked her head into the house before closing it behind her again.

The officer jerked on his bicep and he flexed in response, a reflex reaction to being squeezed suddenly. The officer hid a smirk and Murasakibara bit his tongue to keep from cursing at the pinch.

"Sorry to bring your son home in this condition, dad, mom." He nodded at both of them.

The door opened behind them and a taller figure stepped out. Atushi held back a snicker as Fuji stepped out and came to stand beside his father, feeling the officer's surprise to his brother's size by the change in grip on his arm.

"You must be his older brother. Wow, you're a big boy!"

"His eldest, yeah. Fuji." He stuck his hand out and the officer accepted, shaking for minute even though a slight bow would have been acceptable as well. Atsushi picked up on this detail and figured it was more physical, something his brother seemed to enjoy to be around people.

"I'm officer Jirou, I responded to an incident Atsushi was involved in about an hour, two hours ago."

"What happened?" Fuji pressed, crossing his arms across his chest and remaining behind their father.

"Your brother here had a bit of a temper downtown. Apparently he got in a disagreement with one of his teammates from his school basketball team and they had a bit of a fight."

"I see."

Atsushi blushed as he listened wordlessly to the conversation.

All eyes turned to the street as another car pulled up and the first officer Atsushi had dealt with, the one that had handcuffed him, strode out. He adjusted his belt as he walked over, extending a hand and waving when he entered the gate. He was shorter than the officer that drove Atsushi back home, but in comparison to the general population he was still a tall man, clearly being at least six feet.

"Sorry, I'm a little late. I'm officer Takeshi, I was just dropping the other boy home."

Fuji nodded, glancing at Atsushi and understanding who the other boy was.

"So is there going to be any convictions or charges or anything?" He asked, cutting to the important part. "I mean, it's two high school boys in a bit of fight. It's unfortunate but it happens, right?" He shrugged, trying to play it off as just a one-off, coming of age related event.

Atsushi squirmed and officer Jirou steadied him with a jerk of his arm. Fuji didn't seem to be helping him much right now. He felt that bringing up the question so directly would result in the officers' feeling the need to press charges against him.

The officer Takeshi began to answer. "Luckily, the- uh, other boy is not laying any charges, though I did strongly urged him to because of the amount of force used against him. Also, it was in a public area, not a school ground, so it would be considered an act of aggression in public rather than at school. Eyewitnesses stated that there was a third boy present that had ran away before we arrived there, and that the conversation between this boy and Atsushi was interrupted by...the uh, boy assaulted. Your son and his classmate started to argue and things escalated. At one point – and this is the excessive force I mentioned - Atsushi started to  _strangle_  him, lifting him off his feet and holding him by the throat against the wall of a butcher shop. At this point the third boy fled. Atsushi's classmate  _denies_  that he was strangled or that another boy was there, so I'm not sure what the exact story is, but I'm inclined to believe that his classmate is simply covering up some kind of schoolyard trouble."

"I see." Fuji repeated.

"It could be because...I'm sorry, I know it's confusing but I cannot tell you his name because he's a minor. It's up to Atsushi if he wants to tell you who he fought with, but we believe Atsushi's classmate is trying to protect your son, himself, or his team, or any matter of other friends from school. Keep in mind this isn't entirely Atsushi's fault. Your son – and brother – does seem to be rather disappointed in himself with the way he behaved today. I had a little chat with him in the car on the way here and he  _is_  genuinely sorry for what has happened." Officer Jirou added.

Atsushi's parents nodded, following along with what the officers were telling them. The entire conversation seemed to be coming to a close, with mutual understanding on all ends for what had happened and what was to be expected going into the future.

"And there is also the issue of the dead bird." Officer Takeshi stated, a smirk on his face.

Atsushi blushed. Officer Jirou suppressed a laugh. Fuji snorted as he tried to disguise his amusement.

" _Bird_?!" his mother cut in, for the first time in the conversation. Her voice was high in pitch as she expressed her shock.

"What about a dead bird?" his father pressed, his tone serious and full of disappointment already, waving a hand for his wife to be silent so they could continue on.

"There were crows flocked all over the sidewalk where they were standing and your son hit one when he was fighting with the other boy." Officer Takeshi explained, "The bird was struck to the concrete with such a heavy force, it snapped its neck – its head turned one-eighty degrees – and it died."

Fuji let out a laugh, holding one hand up to cover his mouth and the other palm outwards to excuse himself. When he had himself under control again, he looked at Atsushi and chuckled.

"You... _killed_  a bird?"

"I didn't do it on  _purpose_!" Atsushi protested.

His words sent Fuji into another round of laughter that had even the police officers smiling.

"Normally we would have a fine for the destruction of nature, but considering the circumstances I think we're just going to let that slide this once. And he does seem deeply troubled over it." Officer Jirou explained, "However, if it happens again then we have no choice but to press charges on behalf of the state. We really aren't allowed to do that, but I'm ruling to make an exception given that your son had no intention to hurt any birds."

Officer Takeshi busied himself with removing the handcuffs and Atsushi rubbed his wrists. They were red from being bound for so long and he stretched his fingers to get some circulation back in them. Officer Jirou handed him his skateboard and he smiled in appreciation at him.

"I think that's all we have to say. We're just going to keep it to a warning today, and he's very, very  _lucky_  at that. Just make sure he learned to keep his temper in check and that he stays out of trouble in the future."

The two officers bowed to his family and his family in return, and then Officer Jirou shook his hand before they left. His parents ushered him into the house afterwards, sending the rest of their kids to eat their dinner in the living room. The four of them - his parents, Fuji, and himself - had dinner separately to discuss with him what his punishments would be. Atsushi kept his head down the whole meal, an errant thought that he could at least try to phone Akashi afterwards and apologize to him about what happened, maybe even having a chance to explain what happened, distracting him from what this parents were discussing.

"So it's settled then." His mother caught his attention. "You are to do  _all_  of your siblings chores for two weeks to make up for your behavior."

Murasakibara groaned; that would mean he would have to do four people's worth of chores. Fuji kicked him under the table.

"We can increase it to four week, if you're not happy about it. It's either that, or we can take away your skateboard and iPod." his father suggested, then grumbled, "They're the bad influences anyways."

"I'll do the chores!" Atsushi cried out. He put his head in his hands and forced the tears to go away. He could hear chairs scraping back on the floor and plates being lifted up. Fuji was grinning at him when he picked his head up again.

"Sorry." He shrugged his large shoulders. "It's the best deal I could cut for you. They really wanted to throw the book at you so I had to do my best to work it down to chores and short sentence."

They were alone now, their parents had gone to do the dishes in the kitchen and speak to each other about their youngest son's troublesome behaviour in private.

Atsushi nodded. "Thank you! Honestly, Fuji, I don't know how you did this on your own!" He murmured, his voice rough with emotions.

Fuji didn't reply. He simply moved the conversation on. "Himuro was the one you hurt, wasn't he? And Akashi was the third boy?"

Atsushi nodded and then looked around. "Where's the phone? I should call him."

"Akashi?" He brother asked, clarifying who Atsushi was talking about. "He already left."

Atsushi turned back to face his brother.

"I tried to call him just before you came home. I thought you were still with him. You weren't answering your phone."

"I was...cuffed."

"Yeah, I know. Well,  _now_  I know."

"What about Aka-chin? Did he answer?"

"Yeah. He answered and thought that you had come home upset. He answered with 'whatever he's saying, I'm really sorry.'"

Atsushi smiled. "Did he say anything else?"

"He said he was on the train and that he had to go. He didn't know where you are and he hoped that you weren't getting into trouble. That's all."

Atsushi stared at his brother in despair. "He can't have just left."

"Atsushi-"

"No. I don't believe it."

Atsushi grabbed his board and headed to the hallway.

"Where are you going?" his brother hissed at him in a whisper.

"I'm going to see him. He couldn't have left just like that."

Fuji grabbed Atsushi by the arms and pinned them to his side. The skateboard clattered to the floor and both brothers held their breath and looked to the kitchen for a moment, hoping their parents wouldn't enter to check on what the loud sound was.

"Atsushi! Have you lost your mind?! You're going to get into more trouble just leaving after all this!" Fuji hissed at him in a whisper, trying to speak some sense to his youngest brother.

"I have to see Ak-"

"I heard the train in the background, 'Sushi. He lost reception going through the tunnel. He's  _gone_."

Atsushi glared at his brother and the tears that were threatening to fall all day finally broke through the barrier he had fought to put up. He pulled out of Fuji's grasp and ran upstairs to his room.

 

* * *

 

Friday, October 14th

The night was endless. Nori stayed on the sofa because he couldn't stand Atsushi's constant crying. His eyes felt swollen and he wanted badly to hit something again. His palms tingled and he sat on top of them so that he wouldn't give in to temptation. The sun slowly crept past his curtains and stained the ceiling yellow. His thought ran in circles in his mind, each idea never ending before another one started. Even with his eyes closed, his head spun. He couldn't drown his thoughts out with music, he couldn't stop his mind from reeling.

He must've have fallen asleep at one point because his alarm began to play and he reached out a numb arm to slap it off. His hand hit the noise off and then bumped on the table top, flopping lifelessly and tingling with sleep. It took him a moment to figure out where exactly he was and recall what had happened. He pried his eyes open and stared up at the ceiling. His eyes felt dry and each time he blinked it felt like sandpaper was rubbing against his eyeballs. His lower lip quivered as his eyes squinted in agony. Akashi was gone. He went back to Kyoto. Atsushi had lost his second chance with him.

His body felt numb, heavy and weighted. He tried to lift himself from his bed, but the darkness of the room felt oppressive and he sunk back down without a fight. He felt as though he was made out of lead or cast in cement, heavy and rigid.

Footsteps outside the door forced him to get up and brush his hair in his face. He searched around for his school uniform and shuffled into it, mechanically putting one foot at a time through the right leg holes. His reflection showed him a very scruffy looking version of a Yosen student, but at least he was in uniform, ready to go to school. Now all he had to do was keep his emotions together enough to keep from completely falling apart. He had to keep himself together, at least just long enough to numb him out the anger and keep him from doing something violent again.

He picked up his bag and made his way downstairs. Skipping breakfast, he left his board behind and began walking to school, leaving unusually early to make it to class on time. It took him close to an hour, but he made it without taking his eyes off the pavement.

The rest of the day went by in a blur: roll call, classes, reading, worksheets, reading, questions, answers, assignments. It was the same as any other day, except he wasn't putting his head down on the desk and tuning out the world to his music anymore, he didn't have the heart to hear the familiar lyrics or tunes he had come to fill the void in his heart over Akashi. There was no eyeliner under his eyes, but the bruises from not sleeping made up for that. The small bubble of space that he had around him at all times seemed to double either out of sympathy or fear. No doubt word must've gotten around the student body that he was brought home by the police. Even if Himuro didn't tell anyone, someone must've have seen the incident, or seen the cruisers going around.

"Well, fuck it." he murmured under his breath. He shut his locker, hoping it would shut the world out, and shuffled on to the next class.

It wasn't until he had screamed at his math professor, walked out of English class, and dented his locker by punching the door that he had begun to realize that simply masking the pain wouldn't help him. Old scars might blend in with the old skin, but new scars take a longer time to hide. What happens when you reopen old scars? How long does that take to heal? Would they heal as blendable as they did the first time or would they become uglier the more the original wound was revisited?

He put his head down and left school early, starting to walk home with his bag slung over his shoulder and his hair hanging down in his face. A sharp realization of déjà-vu hit him, stopping him in his tracks. He looked up, making sure he was still in the familiar streets of Akita, before turning his face upwards so that the falling rain would clear the tears from his face.

It was almost four years ago that he walked home from basketball practice just the same: head down, hair in his face, bag slung over his shoulder, and tears down his cheeks. He could still hear the ringing in his ears of the other kids' laughter. He could still feel their hands pushing against him. And then there was Akashi. He had always been nice to him, and he never once called him a freak for his size. He took him as he was and showed him the talent that he possessed. And just as he walked home from Teiko middle school on that day very similar to today, another day came to mind. Another time he walked home shrouded in misery. The day that Akashi and him had called it quits. He frowned as he found the irony in the entire situation: himself walking home from school without his heart, by the same boy, for the second time.

Vomit filled his mouth and he spat on the ground. Akashi had left him before because he couldn't handle the imbalance of their relationship. It wasn't fulfilling to him to have the scales constantly tipped in one direction or the others. Now that he had had the chance to get him back, to balance their relationship, he had lost his opportunity. Akashi had left. Gone. Because someone else had attempted to weigh in on their relationship.

He looked down at the pavement and the anger that had filled him throughout his new weeks at Yosen came back to him in a rush. He looked at his hand, empty and shaking, and wished reverently that he had his board with him. The wind rush through his hair would help him think clearly. He started walking, with his chest out and his head held high. The light breeze his fast pace made helped clear his mind and he didn't bother to look down into the faces of those that were staring at his face in mild shock. He realized he must've looked really sick, with pale skin and sunken eyes and tears dried to his cheeks. Yet none of that mattered. Because he had lost his second chance with Akashi. But it wouldn't be his last.

He extended the shoulder strap on his bag and slung it over one shoulder. He had to get home before any of his siblings. For once, he didn't ride his skateboard to school today, and that was unusual enough for them to start asking questions. Of course he would just have to lie and state that he wanted to keep a low profile, stay out of the radar of the authorities, learn to breath and take the world in at a more natural pace. But it might not be enough. He was running now, running home so he could have a chance to be in his bedroom alone for a few moments, without Nori or Fuji or his parents pausing to check in on him. A few moments is all he would need. What he planned on doing would hurt his family greatly, but he wouldn't just stand aside and let them be another obstacle in his way to mending things with Akashi.

Akashi words ran through his head, the most recent blending into the past:  _"We both moved on, right? You don't need to pretend or try to spare my feelings. Whatever he's saying, I'm really sorry. I hope he's not in trouble. I don't think this is working out, Atsushi. You know how much I care – I wouldn't be here if I didn't! Why didn't you tell me that wasn't the case? I can't handle being kept in the dark! What part of me is wrong for you?"_

The words carved out pieces of his heart and he ran faster to outrun the pain. He was pushing people out of his way now, grabbing their shoulders and forcing them out of his path, but he didn't care. He wasn't there to see them fall or hear their words, he was in another place entirely. He jumped the fence to his yard and had the door unlocked in record time. Taking the stairs two at a time, he barged into his room, letting the door slam into the wall behind it, and pulled his old duffle bag out from under the bed. Filled with old clothing, it fit under his bed snugly as an ideal place for seasonal storage, but once packed it would sit hidden under the bed, disguised as his usual storage, and wait...

He paused for a moment. Tomorrow was Saturday. He didn't have school. He frowned, this was a rift in his plan he didn't overlooked entirely. He had no idea how he was supposed to sneak out of his house on a Saturday. He didn't have a solid excuse to leave the house, especially since he was being so closely watched after killing that stupid crow by accident. And if he did leave the house, it would be too risky: he could run into Himuro – who could cause another scene – or his parents would notice his absence long before he had a chance to even make it to Tokyo. He needed the full day of school as his excuse to at least be far enough away that they wouldn't be able to realize he wasn't coming home until it was too late. He had no choice: he would have to wait until Monday before he could put his plan into action. And all he could do until then was to hope that Akashi wouldn't become too overwhelmed, too scared of him. Monday morning would come soon enough, and that's when he would take the duffle bag with him to 'go to school.'

He wasted no time in thinking or deliberating, he knew what he wanted and where to find it. And he knew that now would be the only time he had alone in his room to make sure the bag was ready to go, even if he had to wait two days before he retrieved it. The first thing he did was unzip the duffle bag, pull out all its contents, and place them on his bed. Then he began to fill the duffle bag with all the things he would need. As he pulled open a bureau drawer, he retrieved his cell phone from his pocket and lodged it between his shoulder and his ear. Turning around and stuffing the items from his mental list into the bag, he smirked as he heard the familiar greeting. He had a good feeling about this plan because it was everything Akashi had wanted: risky, mysterious, spontaneous, romantic, passionate, and dangerous.

He continued packing, trying to keep himself distracted and motivated, but also alert to his family potentially arriving home, especially Nori. He didn't stop to consider the punishment he would receive if he were to be caught. And there was only one person who could help him now.

"Hola Murasakicchi! You finally called me back!"

Murasakibara couldn't help the grin crossing his face. Hearing that greeting made the world suddenly seem like a much brighter place.


	6. The Beast Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Chapter 6 - The Beast Rising:**

Monday, October 17th

It was tense in the house Saturday morning and remained so all weekend. Atsushi was worried. He usually looked forwards to the days away from school but this morning he was afraid to leave his room. He didn't want his parents or his siblings to watch him, scrutinize him as if every action he did would be to kill another damned crow. He was bitterly glad the crow died, trying to cover his guilt with the basis that crows were annoying anyways, but he was saddened by it. Especially since he was being so heavily punished. He spent most of Saturday hidden in his room, until Fuji came by in the evening and reminded him that he was in charge of all of his siblings' chores. Atsushi frowned but with his eldest brother's encouragement he put on a brave face and headed downstairs. He set the table for dinner even though it was too early to, and then he began to clean up the living room. He tied his hair back in a low ponytail and put on his headphones while he dusted and vacuumed the living room, cleaned the showers, bathtubs, and toilets, and mopped the hardwood floor upstairs. He ate dinner standing up at the kitchen counter rather than sit with his family, too ashamed to face them all, and after he washed, dried, and put away all the dinner dishes, he headed into the basement and began to clean up the mess he had made down there before he went to see Akashi on Wednesday.

He stayed in the basement until it was too late for his family to be awake any longer, then he sulk to bed. Sunday was spent cleaning his siblings' rooms, watering the houseplants, cleaning the yard, doing all the laundry and dishes again, and then once he was finally done with all the chores, he had to start on his homework. Kise called and they spoke briefly, and he was grateful when Fuji brought him a bowl of chocolate ice cream in the evening and sat on his bed to spend some private time with him. His eldest brother confessed he had stayed away from him to distract the family and keep them from constantly checking in on Atsushi, to which Atsushi was rather grateful. They didn't speak of Akashi, but rather around the topic of him and the feelings Atsushi harboured towards him, so Sunday night ended with a bittersweet feeling associated with it. Atsushi felt like he was given the chance to tell Fuji what he had planned, but he didn't take it. He chose to stay quiet. And that made him feel guilty about actually leaving tomorrow.

Atsushi had a hard time falling asleep and was startled awake when his alarm went off on Monday morning. He was glad once his eyes were open, and his enthusiasm must have tipped off his siblings because the twins were watching his moves closely - though indirectly - as they readied for their own morning. It didn't help that there was two of them; most of the time they acted as one anyways, but it was still an inconvenience to Atsushi, who had to work extra carefully to make sure they had no reason to suspect him.

Breakfast was a harder duty than usual. On a typical day Atsushi could get away with rushing out the door on his skateboard with something small and easy to eat on the go, like a piece of toast, wedged between his teeth. But since the incident with the police and his unusually quiet weekend, his parents had turned up the discipline on him, and he had to endure being scrutinized as he forced himself to eat his pancake and eggs at the table with the rest of his siblings. He tapped his foot impatiently, trying to make it seem like he was keeping time with the music blaring from his headphones, but he swallowed food too fast or fidgeted too much to really sell the impression that he was calm.

He didn't want to be the first to leave the house and so he went to the fridge for a glass of orange juice to kill some time. He gathered the breakfast dishes afterwards and washed them, using the chore as an excuse to linger behind. The twins spared him one final look of suspicion before they laced up their shoes and headed on their way. Nori and his parents had all headed out beforehand. Fuji was in the bathroom, taking advantage of the fact that everyone else would be leaving to have a long warm shower. It would be safe now for Atsushi to take his leave, but he wasn't heading to school.

Atsushi's hand shook as he placed the empty glass in the sink. He didn't want to any of his family to worry, but it wasn't as if he was in any real danger. He scouted out the rest of the house, making sure he had the place to himself before he acted; he couldn't risk being caught.

The house was empty besides Fuji, who was busy in the shower. The quiet disturbed Atsushi. He headed back upstairs and quickly changed his clothing, before he switched his schoolbag for his duffle bag. It felt unsafe to be acting so hastily, without waiting for the clock to assure him that no one would have doubled back, but he knew that the extra time would be required. He grabbed his board and locked the door behind himself, before heading to the train station.

The streets weren't nearly as crowded as they seemed to be whenever he headed to school. He supposed the teenage rush to school would clog up the streets and that was the usual delay he would see. As he was headed in the opposite direction from the schools, he was sure to encounter less and less of the younger population, and that meant a higher population of cars, transit commuters, and the business class.

He wasn't able to keep still at the train station. At any given moment one of his parents' friends or co-workers would see him and alert his family as to where he was and what it looked like he was doing; he always did stand out in a crowd. Trying to blend as best as he could into the background of the world around him, he tried to sooth his nerves with the lyrics that had become so familiar to him. These words acted as medicine in his veins, they were like a bible to him. They kept the dark and the pain away, not by banishing it but by understanding it, by making sense of it. He breathed deeply as the train arrived and, as the sweat slid down the back of his neck, he got on as if it were part of his daily commute and settle into his seat for the long ride.

 

* * *

 

As the train pulled into his stop, Murasakibara rose and had to duck his head to get out of the cabin. His heart was racing in his chest, hammering a fast beat against his ribs, and he tried to be just as small and unnoticeable as he did when he entered the train. Once outside the tight space, he slung his duffle bag over his shoulder and nestled it against the small of his back so he could use his board with ease. He hadn't been in the area for over a year but the streets were as familiar to him as if he had walked them just yesterday. He took it slow on his board to stay out of the way of many people, which had become much easier as the workers commute had ended some time ago, and arrived ahead of time at the home of his old friend.

He felt a thrill race throughout his body as he reached out and rung the door bell, and a grin broke out across his face as a stunning blonde lady opened the door to greet him.

"Well if it isn't little Atsushicchi!"

"Good afternoon!"

"And as polite as ever! You're here for my brother, aren't you?"

She ushered him inside the well-kept home and called up the stairs for Ryouta to come down. There was a squeal, a blur of yellow, and then Murasakibara felt a pair of arms wrap around his body. He grinned and hugged Kise back, not able to understand what was being mumbled into his torso.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Kise exclaimed at Murasakibara's puzzled expression.

The purple giant was aglow all at once. "Nothing seems to have changed, Kise-chin."

For the first time, Kise took a step back and looked his old teammate up and down, drinking in the dark liner and shady outfit: dark jeans with several chains around his waist, a red belt, and a tight, black T-shirt. He struggled to find the right thing to say and brushed his hair out of his eyes as he replied.

"You have."

Murasakibara blushed and smiled. "I'm taller." He mumbled, avoiding the obvious reaction to his outfit.

"You aren't afraid to walk around like that?"

"They don't really care much in Akita."

"But really?"

"It's fine, Kise-chin. Don't be such a model."

Kise smiled, and motioned for Murasakibara to follow him to the living room. Murasakibara followed, feeling the familiar sensation of awe walking through his friend's house for the first time in a long time and put his cell phone into his bag. He chuckled to himself and put his bag and skateboard down in the corner of the room, just beside the doorway.

"I suppose I'm just so used to seeing everyone in their uniforms." Kise jested.

Murasakibara smirked at him and mussed his hair. "You're funny Kise-chin."

It was odd that their relationship just seemed to pick up exactly where it left off and Murasakibara questioned if that was what made their friendship stronger or simply fake. He forced the thought from his mind and helped himself to one of the lemon pastries that Kise had just brought in.

"So, how's the Tatsuya problem going?"

"It heated up quickly."

"With the police and all?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure how my parents will handle me running off on them just two days after that incident."

"You didn't! You told me that you'd tell them!"

"Well, I left it to the last minute and they left early, so..."

"If I become blamed as an accomplish for this-"

"You won't be. Besides, you  _are_  missing class tomorrow for me."

"I would just leave you there, but I don't want to have to travel back myself at night."

"It's fine. I'll drop you to the train in the morning before I head to the school."

"Are you sure? I don't want to leave you there."

"It's probably better if you do."

"You aren't planning on getting hauled off, do you?"

Murasakibara spoke with gritted teeth. He lowered his tone so that Ryouta's family wouldn't overhear him. "It's a possibility."

Kise leaned back and took a bite of his pastry to occupy himself. He nodded slowly and then stood and stretched. He wanted to tell his friend that accepting being arrested again as a possibility only meant that he would allow himself to get into a position where it was the only option, but he didn't want to seem as though he were against him. Between eating, hugging, and speaking in hushed voices about their plan, an hour had passed and they were due at the station for their train in forty-five minutes.

"Should we get going?" Murasakibara stood as well, gathering his things.

"Perhaps? We have plenty of time to talk on the train."

"Will you be back in time for your practice?"

"I'll try to."

Murasakibara smiled. "At least you try."

They wrapped their coats around themselves and began walking towards the train station. Murasakibara held his board in his hands and tried his hardest to keep the wheels from catching anyone's clothing; it didn't help his temper to have to deal with complaints from adults with nothing better to yell about. Life was easy for them –  _they_  didn't have to deal with the love of their life on the other side of the country, too afraid to speak to them because of some dead bird and an annoying American.

"So I did do some digging on Tatsuya for you."

The statement pulled Murasakibara out of his thoughts and he raised an eyebrow for further clarification.

"Nijimura knows him."

The name sent a chill down Murasakibara's body. It wasn't a good thing for him to be involved if Akashi was in the equation. Akashi was, as anyone recalled, a sort of pet of Nijimura's, and the man was everything Akashi seemed to want in relationship: strong, elegant, determined, and bold.

"Yeah. They met in America before Tatsuya transferred over. Apparently he might have had a thing for you if he heard of you from Nijimura."

Murasakibara felt unsure of how to respond. He didn't know if he could trust Ryouta with his irrational fears or with his darker memories. He heard that Nijimura had left the country but he never pried, and after some time at Teiko he had all but forgotten about his ex-captain. He was surprised that Kise talked about Nijimura so readily while he himself had forgotten him.

Kise walked in silence besides Murasakibara, granting him a moment to process the information just given to him. Kise himself had never been a part of the team when Nijimura was captain, and Nijimura had left the school not long after Kise had joined. In all his awe at his new friends and his mystery about Akashi - the captain when he had joined -Kise never paid much attention to the dark-haired boy who was quiet and observant. When he did stand out to Kise, it was because of the attention he had paid to Haizaki, the former small forward whose position Kise had taken over.

The train had pulled into the station and Murasakibara felt a vibration in his bag as he lifted it. He thought of his phone and shook the thought from his mind. His mouth felt dry so he opened the bottle of water that he had packed with him and took as sip as he took a seat. Kise sat beside him and extended a hand for the bottle. Murasakibara handed it over and smiled, his guarded heart melting in some places to the warmth of his friend.

"So are you going to tell me what's on your mind?" Kise finally pressed.

Murasakibara sighed and looked around the train. They have five and a half hours to spend in this cabin and it wasn't the most private, but what else was there to do?

He drummed his hands on his thighs for a moment, considering the pros and the cons, finally settling on the worst that Kise could do was laugh at him. He highly doubted him to spread the word like a middle-school girl.

"You-you don't think Aka-chin is dating Niji-chin, do you?"

Murasakibara felt like the anger in him rise. In his recollections, Nijimura had been the dangerous, older bad example. He would hit whoever didn't listen to him and he would be harsh to those that broke his rules. Akashi looked up to him as a leader, a role model of sorts, and Nijimura would absorb as much of Akashi's attention and time as he possibly could. True, he was well-mannered, intelligent, and friendly when he wanted to be, but often times it made getting to know Akashi challenging. Even when he had left the team Akashi would whisper his name when he was not sure what would be suitable for discipline.

His anger surprised Murasakibara. It was clear that Nijimura once had held more than an influence to Akashi, but since when did he seem to become so small of a challenge to the violet-man? Since when had Nijimura become an insignificant cog in the wheel to the center who had once trembled in fear of him?

Murasakibara clenched his hands into fists and sat on them to restrain himself. 'If Nijimura was there...' He bit his lower lip and forced the thought from his mind. He didn't want to give his imagination too much to taunt him with. But Akashi had said that he moved on, implying there was someone else. The thought haunted him even since Akashi had said it.

Kise chuckled and the sound was like bells tolling in the distance. His eyes were bright as he leaned forwards to look into Murasakibara's lavender irises.

"Is that really what you're scared of, Murasakicchi? That  _Nijimura_  is dating Akashicchi?" He pondered for a moment, his eyes rolling to the side and giving him a cute, thoughtful look. "I don't think Nijimura is back from America yet. He wouldn't leave his family in such misfortune."

Murasakibara's fists unclenched but he stayed seated on his hands. "Yes." He agreed, recalling how Nijimura had to leave to America rather abruptly in regards to his father's poor health.

A scoreboard sounded in Murasakibara's head: if he were to leave his family behind for Akashi and Nijimura had not, surely that would make him the better prospect, wouldn't it? Or was the situation too different to really argue? Would it be seen as noble for Nijimura to stay with his bedridden father? Would it seem shameful that Murasakibara had left without warning to his family? He sucked in a breath and added those questions to the corner of his mind dedicated to thoughts he should be avoiding. This section of his brain seemed to be growing in size at an alarming rate.

"Murasakicchi, I don't think that is what Akashicchi meant."

"Then who?"

The question brought Kise up short. For a moment the glow seemed to leave him, only to return in an instant. "I don't honestly think Akashicchi would just run off with the next center he gets at Rakuzan, Murasakicchi. It's not in his character."

"But what if he finds someone else that he could fancy? What if he finds another Nijimura? Or what if-"

"Shh. Akashicchi isn't like that. Besides, even if he were dating someone, it wouldn't be so bad. He would probably just walk around with them and stare into their eyes." Kise giggled. "He's so childish sometimes."

Murasakibara felt his stomach roll and disgust wash over him. In an instant he could imagine the million of ways that this unknown imposter would hold Akashi, touch Akashi,  _feel_ Akashi. He saw the way their lips would mold together to create one synchronized pair. He felt his blood boil as he watched his hands trailing up Akashi's slim waist, the smirk that would form as he felt the redhead tremble. He gritted his teeth together and pushed the hair back from his face. He wanted badly to smash something against the floor over and over until he was drained of all energy and left to puke alongside the carnage.

A slender, cool hand placed itself on top of his and he turned in mild shock to meet Kise's eyes. Murasakibara realized he was gasping and slowed his breathing, trying to search for a reason in Kise's golden orbs.

"What's wrong, Murasakicchi?"

The concern in his voice choked off Murasakibara's words and he leaned forwards and placed his head into the grove of Kise's neck. He felt stiff where his muscles had bunched up in anticipation of a fight and he felt suddenly exhausted from having to carry his anger around with him like a disease.

"I don't want anyone else touching Aka-chin." he mumbled weakly. His body felt heavy and he suddenly felt the adrenaline he was running on since yesterday run low in his system. Even though he hadn't attacked anything, he still felt as drained as if he had.

"Are you tired?" Kise patted his head and stroked his hair soothingly, the way Akashi used to whenever they had a fight, which had become more frequent as their relationship went on.

He nodded, despite not knowing if he was legitimately tired or not, and Kise continued his soothing. He began humming a lullaby for his heartbroken friend and Murasakibara felt his tired eyes closing. He didn't want to sleep, not just yet, but he knew that if he were to keep going he would risk everything: opportunity to find Akashi, the ability to control his temper when he did find Akashi, and of course his entire goal of reasoning with Akashi. His adrenaline and anger couldn't be the only things to keep pressing him forwards, and he was likely to get sick if he kept pushing his body for more. His consciousness began to slip from him and before he was aware of it, Murasakibara had drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

The ground was shaking. Someone was softly calling his name, but the ground was shaking and he didn't want to get up. He forced his eyes to pry themselves open so he could tell his brother to go away, but the sight of the train wall made him jump up, startling him from his rest.

"We have to go now, Murasakicchi."

He turned and found Kise, whose shoulder he had been sleeping on for the past four hours. He didn't seem at all tired or strained, and Murasakibara felt guilty as he gather his bearings. He didn't deserve this much loyalty after just deserting his friend for so long.

Kise helped him gather his bag and ushered him off the train. It was dark outside, and despite the streets of Kyoto being well-lit, the pair felt oddly anxious as they ventured forwards together to find their hotel. It was close to the station so that Kise would be able to return to Tokyo tomorrow, hopefully in time to have a rest before heading off to Kaijo's basketball practice afterschool.

The air was cool and crisp, and Murasakibara wondered vaguely what Akashi was up to at this time of night, smiling at the thought of him curled up all warm and snug in bed in his room. But he knew that Akashi wasn't the type to sleep so early, as he referred to it. He would probably be awake, reading in his bed, with the lamp still on and a glass of brandy on the side table. He smiled at that image as well, that was more like Akashi.

They found their hotel and checked in, taking the elevator to the fifth floor and making their way to suite nine. He thought of meeting Akashi in the train station back in Akita, wondering vaguely what business he had even being down there, but the memory felt fuzzy this late at night.

They set their bags down at the foot of their beds and changed into their light cotton clothing to sleep. Murasakibara settled into his bed as Kise ordered some food from their room-service. The last they had to eat was the lemon pastries at Kise-chin's house, and Murasakibara felt his stomach growl at the sudden realization.

"It isn't good to sleep on a full stomach." he recalled.

"Oh, we won't eat that much, Murasakicchi. Besides, I still want to talk."

"About?" Murasakibara heard the defensiveness in his voice rise and forced an apologetic smile. It was still difficult to remind himself that the person before him was a friend that he could trust, especially after he had forced himself to adopt the notion that no one – not even his own parents - were trustworthy.

Kise curled up on the bed and wrapped his arms around his legs. Despite having heard all the stories, he didn't seem at all frightened by Murasakibara's uncontrolled anger. "Is it alright if I ask why did you Akashicchi break up in the first place?"

Murasakibara felt a small dull pain throb throughout his body, but he was sure he was too low on adrenaline to get all worked up over the reminder. He nodded, looking to the floor as he pushed a lock of hair behind his ear.

"It's fine."

"So...why did you break up?"

"We both agreed that it was for the best."

"You don't seem to have handled it so well."

"I didn't want to. Honestly, I just didn't want him to feel any regret over leaving me."

"So, what made you guys call it quits? Wasn't he happy?"

"He said he was." Murasakibara sighed heavily, "But he kept telling me that he didn't like how 'out of balance' we were. He said that he was always leading us, and that I never took charge."

"Akashicchi  _wanted_  to be  _dominated_?" Kise's eyebrows raised as he tried to comprehend, his voice full of shock.

"No. Not dominated. Not exactly. He was just tired of being pleased. He wanted to make me happy too, but he didn't seem to understand that my happiness came from his. Simply being with him was enough for me. But he said that it was too simple, that it wasn't fair, and that we should do some things that I enjoyed or go some place I wanted to see. That I didn't make enough decisions or I didn't let him in my head enough."

"It's a fair enough request." Kise shrugged, "I mean, personally I wouldn't break up over it. I would at least try to work things out."

"The thing is I didn't know  _what_  to do or  _where_  to go. I tried to pick places that he would think I would enjoy, like restaurants and fairs. He was happy when we were there, but I suppose none of it caused me to express the reaction he desired from me because we always seemed to fight about it afterwards."

"I don't understand." Kise frowned. "What more could he possibly want from you?"

There was a knock at the door and Kise went forwards to answer it. He brought several bowls of food with him into the room and handed Murasakibara a plate so they could dish the various foods out of the bowls and share it all. The pair both took several helpings each and settled into their food in silence. Murasakibara didn't want to continue talking as they ate, and he welcomed the food both a nourishment and a hearty distraction. They piled the dishes back on the tray when they were finished and then sat back on their beds. Kise was sitting with his legs cross and one of the main serving bowls in his lap as he finished the last of the food in it, and tried to bring the conversation back to where it had been a half an hour ago.

"Did you ever find out what he wanted?"

Murasakibara nodded. He looked away from Kise and then back. He decided it would be easier to tune out his responses and started into his story.

"I wasn't happy seeing Aka-chin anymore. It wasn't because I was falling out of love with him. It was because of how difficult it was to be with him. Every date seemed to end in disaster, we fought more often. It got to a point where he had just stopped smiling. It wasn't pleasant to be around with him. I stopped taking him out because I didn't want him to question me on why I wasn't happy afterwards; as far as I was aware I was happy with Aka-chin, before all the questions came in.

"One day I invited him over to my place. I thought it would take the relationship to a new level and that would push us out of the rough patch we were in. It was something simple, something that I liked to do, and I was sure that the new environment would be enough to stir him into a happier mood. It didn't involve making decisions or going out anywhere. And it was a good turnout; Aka-chin smiled and we cuddled. We watched a movie and ate popcorn, and I got to see the smile on his face that made me very happy. I was content enough with that. I was thrilled that he was happy and I was positive that it had gotten us past all the arguments. Perhaps it was just because we were no longer a fresh, new couple and the ideas of first dates and nights on the town had begun to annoy us? Perhaps it was because we had both wanted to progress in a direction that would make us seem more official, something every day and more than just a test. And I was right, for the most part.

"Aka-chin had wanted to move forwards in our relationship. He came over twice more before he invited me to his house. And I knew when he invited me that things were going to be difficult, because he had this mischievous look in his eyes, this dangerous sparkle that he seemed to get whenever he had one of those sporadic ideas. It was in the locker room, and he came to lean against my locker as I was changing. I had just come back from the showers and had changed into my pants.

" 'Are you busy tomorrow night?' he asked me. His eyes looked me up and down and I was slightly self-conscious and aware of all the other boys in the room with us as I was drying my shoulders with my towel.

"So I replied casually, 'No, I'm free. You want to do something?' He brightened up instantly at my response and of course I was in no mood to turn him down now. He licked his lips and looked up into my eyes and breathed, 'Want to come home with me?'

"And I thought he was joking. But then who was I to say no. He had been to my place several times now, it was fair for me to go to his. So I placed my towel in my locker to look occupied and asked him if his father would be home. I wasn't sure what type of first impression I would make and I wanted to know if I could ask my sister for any advice: everyone knew Aka-chin's father was strict and I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to think little of me just because I'm from a middle class family.

"He told me his father had gone away for the weekend, 'on a business trip', and he hinted that he would be delighted if I stayed over. I felt that was pushing our boundaries, it would be my first time over at his house and his father wouldn't even have been aware that I would be there. I was scared to think what would happen if his father were to come home early, so I declined his invitation for the sleepover but promised I would go home with him the next day.

"It was a nice day for once, and I was in high spirits throughout the day because I was going to be with Aka-chin all afternoon. I was hoping that he would let me cuddle him again and so when we got to his house I was barely nervous at all, just excited.

"He let us in and showed me around, and it was already fairly late because we had practice that day too. So I cooked, we ate, and that itself was rather fun. He kept hugging me and leaning in to plant kisses along my arms and sides. I didn't think much of it, but whenever I look back on it in hindsight, it was actually rather different than the rest of our dates."

Murasakibara's voice cracked at the memory of those sweet kisses and he knew that his detail was getting too intimate for Kise's ear. It was a delicate situation to be speaking about and Kise had wanted to know, so he wasn't going to sugarcoat it for his friend. The intimate details were what made their breakup happen.

All the anger seemed to be leaving him as he spoke of the memory that kept haunting himself since the move to Akita. His mistakes were etched in this memories, what he could have been, what he could have said, all of his pain, all of Akashi's. Just as their happiness was intertwined, so was their pain. And he realized now that might be why he was in so much pain: he was simply bearing the pain for both of them, his own amount amplified by the amount Akashi felt.

He didn't look up to see the expression on Kise's face. He sucked in a breath and continued.

"I thought that he was just happy to spend so much time together. We held hands during dinner and he asked me if I wanted to see a movie. He wanted to watch it in his room, so we lay on his bed and began to watch this really crappy American horror. I couldn't stand the over-glamorized bitches that were parading around on the screen as if they were the best thing in the world. I turned and started to snuggle Aka-chin instead.

"He turned the TV off and rolled over to kiss me. Really kiss me, as we never had before. He licked my bottom lip and then plunge his tongue inside my mouth. The feeling was like no other. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around him and holding him close. And when he pulled away I couldn't see anything but him, he was like a god before me. And then he insisted on starting to take his clothes off."

Kise was quiet still, and Murasakibara sucked in another breath.

"I-I panicked! I wasn't ready to go that far! I didn't want our first time to be so raunchy and- and low! I pushed away from him and told him that I didn't want to do that. He started to cry and then he got angry. All of the pieces snapped into place in my mind all at once and I didn't know whether to just give in and let him be happy or to stay rooted in place and try to persuade him otherwise. He asked me what was wrong and I told him it was too soon, and he told me that he didn't want to wait. I had no defense and I knew that he would win but at the time I just- I just didn't want the responsibility of it all. If we ended badly, I didn't want it to be known that I just used Aka-chin that way. I didn't want the blame for just seducing him to bed with me and then leaving town. I knew I was going to leave for Akita soon – my family was moving and there wasn't anything I could do about it – and the image wouldn't leave with me; it would stay with Aka-chin, it would follow him and tarnish him. Not me."

Kise groaned. "You couldn't have been in a worse situation."

"I had no choice but to tell him that I just didn't view him that way. And he thought that I meant I didn't want to be with him in that way because I didn't find him attractive, that I was too childish, too immature. Of course, I wasn't as bold as he would've liked, but he still wanted me. And I did want him, I just- I just-"

"You wanted to keep him safe when you had to leave."

"Exactly! The more I tried to explain it to him the more hurt he sounded! I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere with him so I left and told him I'd call him the next day. As I feared, his father did come home early the next day so it was a good thing that I wasn't there and nothing happened. And he told me that I did have the better judgment on the phone. He became really shy and quiet when he spoke to me, he pulled away from all my touches. I thought to advance on him several times, but I knew that it would probably make the situation worse. So I began to wait for him to calm down, but he didn't. He stayed all keyed up. And then one day, towards the end of the school year, he told me that he felt it would be better for the both of us to call us quits. I couldn't face him being in any pain because I wanted to keep him in a relationship that he didn't seem happy in anymore, so I agreed. I put on a mask and I hid behind it. And I stayed hidden behind it and all this anger, anger at myself for not giving in when I had the chance and anger at him for not understanding. And now anger at Muro-chin for interfering, and with the world for being so cruel. But when I ran into him, it all seemed so irrelevant. He was there, and despite his shock for running into me, he was smiling."

Kise got up and put the empty bowl on the crowded tray. "I can see how messed up this situation became. It's not like any of it was any of your fault though."

"But it's not Aka-chin's either. A part of me believes that he thought that what he was doing would make me happy."

Kise smirked, heading into the bathroom. "I'm sure it would have." He jested.

"Well, yeah." Murasakibara chuckled. "But I would only do what would make  _him_  happy."

Kise had paused in the act of brushing his teeth for the night. He spat in the sink to free his mouth and then leaned around the doorway of the bathroom to see Murasakibara. "Whatever made you think that that  _wouldn't_  make him happy?"

Murasakibara paused. "I- I never thought that it would." He replied. "I- I thought he was only doing it because he thought I would enjoy it, since that's what started our arguing in the first place."

"Maybe," Kise responded, ducking into the bathroom for a moment and then reemerging holding his toothbrush in his hand. "Both of you should have stopped paying more attention to what your partner wanted, and spent a little bit more time trying to find out what you both wanted. It sounds like you both cared a lot for each other, so much so that you completely and selflessly assumed what would be best for the other, without checking in first."

Murasakibara nodded, realizing that what Kise said was the truth. If he had been bold enough to tell Akashi the truth, if he had told him that he wanted to have him but he cared about his image, if Akashi had told him why he wanted to have sex with him, then perhaps they could have found some common ground and made their relationship work rather than break up? By not being clear enough, they had overwhelmed their relationship with assumptions and affection, and it simply couldn't handle it all. Even when he felt frustrated by the thought that he  _was_  clear enough when he tried to explain and Akashi didn't understand, he got too scared to work things out and simply left Akashi alone.

He shook his head and noted the time on the digital clock on the table. "We should head to bed soon."

Kise waved his arm around the corner of the bathroom and began rinsing his mouth. He turned off the bathroom light when he was finished and pulled back the covers on his own bed.

"You know, Murasakicchi. If Akashicchi was willing to go that far with you, he probably isn't looking for a replacement any time soon. Perhaps you just have to fix what you did wrong?"

Murasakibara pulled the blankets over his head and reached out to turn off the lights.

"Perhaps." He agreed. "But it has been a year now. He could have moved on. Night, Kise-chin."

The blonde lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. The taller man was right, time had passed. Akashi could have moved on. He had no words of comfort to tell his friend in regards how much time had passed, so he simply settled on tell him "Night Murasakicchi."

 

* * *

 

Darkness had slowly crept over Akita. The moon had risen high above the city when Fuji had taken to calling Atsushi's cell phone every ten minutes, but with no answer. He contemplated calling around to classmate's houses, asking if they had seen Atsushi, but he didn't want to upset him if he was at one of his friend's house by acting like his babysitter. And he was also aware of Atsushi's reputation right now; having come home in the back of a police car was something he knew to be difficult when in high school. He was the only one that had stayed awake, relentlessly trying to get in contact with his youngest brother. Afraid that Atsushi would arrive home late and hostile, Nori had decided to move into the twin's room for the night, and his parents had went off to bed with their stomachs twisted with worry.

Fuji watched as the clouds lazily rolled over the moon and thought of how much time to give Atsushi before he began to call around. It was past bedtime before he decided that he couldn't wait any longer and began to compile a list of anyone he could called that may know where his youngest brother was. Hoping that Atsushi might have some of his friends' numbers in his school agenda, he headed into his room. A small purple and white school bag sat beside the head of the bed, wedged between the bed frame and the nightstand. He crossed the room in three strides and picked up the bag, placing it on the bed, yet it was a small crinkly noise under the pillow caught his attention instead. He rolled the pillow out of the way and picked up a paper, neatly folded in two. He unfolded it and smiled as he read his name at the top.

The moon was once more visible by the scattering clouds through Atsushi's bedroom window in Akita. The branches outside swayed in the wind and Fuji smiled as he came to end of the note.

"So, you've gone after your heart after all, little brother?"


	7. Erasing the Man From Within the Beast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

**Chapter 7 - Erasing the Man From Within the Beast:**

Sunday, October 16th - Evening

Akashi had arrived back at his father's Thursday night. It was past dinnertime, so he was spared having to sit across the long dining room table and speak to him over their last meal of the day. Still, that didn't excuse him from having evening tea with his father in the comfort of their cozy living room. He felt tired from travelling to Tokyo on the train and wasn't looking forwards to an evening of belittlement, but to his surprise his father was rather quiet. He didn't question Seijuro about why he had suddenly taken a field trip to Akita, and he didn't bring up anything to do with his efforts towards his school sports team. Instead, he asked his son about his classes were going, his plans for his horseracing league, and if he had done any research towards college.

Despite his father's unusual polite attitude, Seijuro was still grateful when he was allowed to escape to his room for the night. He set his bag down on the small table next to his closet door, then unzipped it. He didn't need anything from it, he just wanted to see the shogi pieces Atsushi had made him one more time. He didn't have the heart to leave the oshi and shogi figurines on the hotel table just so they would be thrown away when the housekeepers would come and clean the room, so he put them all in his bag and took them with him in his rush to leave Akita. It wasn't that he  _wanted_  them exactly, he just wasn't sure if Atsushi would return to collect them or if he would care if they got thrown away. And for some reason he just couldn't allow himself to let them be forgotten by both himself and Atsushi. It just didn't seem right since the pieces were made specifically for them.

He held the red king piece in his hand, squeezing it tightly as he gazed into his bag at the shogi pieces. With a sigh he let the piece drop back into his bag, then zipped it closed again and began to get ready for bed. Usually he would spend some time reading or looking over his schedule while in bed, but tonight he turned off the light and settled into sleep as soon as he had tucked himself into bed. Despite his intention to sleep longer than usual, his sleep had been disturbed that night and he tossed in his bed for a long time before he fell in a deep, dreamless slumber.

The next morning he had woken early, cleaned himself up, and took the train back to Kyoto. He stopped at his private flat to drop off his bag and freshen up from his lengthy train ride. Then he changed into his athletic equipment and headed to his school to work out. He spent an hour in the gym, having missed his Friday classes since he was on the train back from Tokyo this morning, then met his teammates for a late practice. It felt good to stretch his legs and hear the squeak of sneakers on the polished gym floor. Afterwards, he spent the evening with Reo, talking to him about how practice had been going in his absence. Reo treated Akashi out to sushi as they talked about the team, and on the rare chance he had built up enough courage, asked Akashi how things had gone in Akita. Akashi grew defensive and coldly changed the subject, and Reo was smart enough to not push him about it.

Saturday had rained. Akashi was surprised since he hadn't seen much rain in Kyoto since he arrived. Granted it got colder in the winter months, he still had seen few days were it actually rained. He had to dig in his closet for his rain jacket, then wore it over his athletic outfit before meeting his team at the school to train. They did a five kilometer run along the path in the public parkway before they returned to the school ground, using their indoor gym to resume practice as they normally would on the weekend. Reversing the order of their workout, they played a practice game before running drills, using ladders and cones to strengthen their footwork and dribbling skills. Akashi ordered them to pair up to stretch out and then ordered his tired teammates to hit the gym, wanting to push them for another hour for strength training. Dividing them up into pairs, he supervised the time for them to work out, wanting them to build their muscles in the weight room.

It had stopped raining by the time they had all showered and gotten changed. Akashi was grateful for the clouds to have passed, taking his time to walk home. Reo had wanted to accompany him, but he lied and said that he would be headed out grocery shopping on his way back to avoid his teammate and friend. He knew that he would once more ask him about how things in Akita had gone, and he didn't have the heart to form an answer. To form an answer would be to understand how things had gone and make a decision based on the feelings and logical way to interpret it all – which Akashi hadn't had the time or emotional capacity to do. And he didn't want to rush doing it just to give Reo an answer.

Sunday was supposed to be his rest day, but Akashi woke early and laced up his sneakers. He ran as the sun rose, chasing it as it rose higher and higher in the sky. He stopped to admire the glowing orange orb in the sky as he pressed his hands against the back of his head, his chest rising and broadening in his stance. He gazed around himself, but he had blocked out the sound of the outside world with his earbuds, listening to music Kise Ryota had put on his iPod back when they were in their final year of Teiko. He felt good listening to the upbeat pop beats and the futuristic synthesized sounds, paying no attention to the lyrics at all. He didn't want to understand the song or the feelings of the singers; rather he wanted to lose himself in heavy beats and chaotic melodies. He wanted to shut his mind down and let the screaming in his subconscious take over.

On his way back from his run he stopped by the local market and purchased a small assortment of vegetables and fresh fish fillets. He didn't want to go grocery shopping, so he quickly raced through the store, buying just what he would need to make himself enough meals until tomorrow so he wouldn't have to spend too long in the store. Then he headed home and cooked himself a large lunch. The afternoon he spent relaxing with his feet in a large bucket of water and espom salt, using the magnesium and sulfate released in the warm wash to alleviate the soreness from his feet and relax his muscles. As he treated himself to this self-care, he did his homework, forcing himself to keep up with his schoolwork, and then even pushing himself to get ahead.

By the early evening his brain had refused to focus on schoolwork any longer, so he cleaned up the footbath and prepared himself some leftovers from lunch for dinner. Afterwards, he decided to go out to his new favorite cafe and have a cup of tea as a pick-me-up. It was a short walk in the growing darkness, but it was a nice thrill to be walking alone on the chilly streets. He was glad when he had arrived at the cafe to find it relatively empty, and he took his order to sit at a table for two beside the far wall to indicate he valued his privacy but was also open to a conversation.

The steam rising in swirls above the little white teacup sent shivers of anticipation down Akashi's small frame. He blew lightly over the top of the cup, watching in admiration as his breath caused small semi-circles to disrupt the peaceful surface of the strawberry tea. He put his lips delicately to the cup and sipped on the sweet flavor. The warm fluid raced down his throat and warmed his body to his very core. It was a sweetness that reminded him of the good memories he had, of the positives in life.

He put the teacup back to the saucer on the table before him. The table surface was scuffed from the use of many patrons and Akashi chuckled at the irony in it. For a moment he was envious of the table; it had been used and bore the marks and scars to prove it. He had no scars. He had no memory to look back on and feel pain from. There was not an instant in his life where he could feel the pain that he  _wanted_ , the pain that he had caused or fought for.

He closed his eyes, opening them as soon as the image of Atsushi choking the dark-haired boy flashed across his mind. He sipped his tea, glad that the heated liquid scorched his lips, and put the cup back down with a shaky hand. Atsushi was dangerous now, yet he still held all the charm of passion, lust, and the new discovery of desire. It was difficult, Akashi knew, to walk the line between danger and abuse when looking for a partner. Yet despite the odds, he knew that he would be trapped in a loveless, impassionate, unsatisfying relationship if he were to simply give up and go on with the next person that would court him.

He sighed and weighed the risk of going back to Akita. He could state that he "simply had more business," play the shy card and explore more. Or he could leave things to rest as they were. He had already initiated the chance by going there once, and he tried at the what was presented to him. It failed. As his mother had once said to him: 'things that were meant to be will be.'  _What if they hadn't?_ he asked himself. He frowned and mentally kicked himself as he answered his own thought:  _if they hadn't become, then they simply must not have meant to be._

Akashi shook his head and looked around. He felt daring. It was quiet in the cafe, but not from being antisocial. There were several inhabitants, each sipping at their drinks and indulging in their newspapers, cakes, and digital devices. Like a hawk looking for prey, Akashi gazed around with eyes heavily lidded with lust. But it was only when he realized that he was measuring each person against Atsushi that he stopped looking for company and reverted to sipping his tea and checking his own phone.

There was a new message from his shooting guard, Reo, and asides from that his newsfeed was full of things that he had already seen and were bored of. One thing Akashi enjoyed about his new device was all the notifications from multiple applications being dumped into one massive feed for him to check on a homepage. It annoyed him now that it was void of all new entertainment when he was desperate for any form of distraction.

Clearing the message from Reo, Akashi turned his phone on silent and placed it beside his teacup on the table. His thoughts strayed back to Atsushi, back to the feelings he had rediscovered when he was with him. Atsushi had become more confident in his size, filling up to make the most of his large frame. He grew his hair, as his brothers had when they were in high school, and he took to wearing darker clothing to match his darkened attitude. To everyone on the street that he would encounter, Atsushi would have them second-guessing his grade point average, motive, and goals in life. The strangers would probably want nothing to do with him and would more than likely cross the street so they wouldn't have to deal with him. Much more to their luck, he would probably pass them by faster than they would notice him on his skateboard. And for all those reasons, and many more, Akashi felt drawn into this new danger that he possessed. The darkness that he cloaked himself in was comforting, it was safe. Parts of it was even familiar to Akashi from their time before. Yet it was undeniably changed. Atsushi had matured in a way Akashi had hoped he would. He had taken everything the redhead boy had desired and collaborated his entire character with it, peeling back the layers of his character and reconstructing himself entirely, it seemed, with Akashi in mind.

Akashi felt his cheeks redden and he sipped his tea to keep himself from smiling. It disturbed him how powerful his emotional connection felt with Atsushi. He found himself wondering why he shouldn't turn around and head back, but he knew deep down the answer. He hated rooting for the memory, hated having to dig it back up and contrast it to this new Atsushi, but he knew that attraction didn't just form because a person wanted it to. There had to be a connection, or else the entire relationship would be formed on false deception to make only  _one_  person happy. He wouldn't be the one to put someone in an unhappy relationship, not when he had searched so hard for an equilibrium.

Quite simply, Akashi's reasoning for not turning back and reconnecting with Atsushi in the way they had once been was because of before, when Atsushi had given him pain in their relationship, just not the pain that Akashi had desired. It was the same pain his father had inflicted on him whenever he had failed to meet his expectations. It was the same pain that he felt in his attempts to socialize with others that didn't want to be dragged into his shadow. It was the pain he felt when he had a misunderstanding with his horse, Yukimaru, one snowy day at the range. Atsushi had given him the pain of rejection, and Akashi would rather be damned before feeling that pain from Atsushi again.

His eyes stung with tears and he angrily wiped a hand across them. As he did so, he caught sight of a man in the lineup making dark eyes towards him. He instinctively reached up and mussed his hair nonchalantly, before reaching forwards and taking a sip of his strawberry tea. It always pleased Akashi whenever older men had taken an interest in him, though he would never admit it. In a sick sense, he felt flattered that anyone would consider him attractive at all. He looked down at his phone, trying to decide which app he would open to make it seem like he was the least bit occupied if the man decided to approach him, when he noticed the screen for the first time: his father was attempting to call him.

He rushed to put the cup down and answer before the call was redirected to his voice mailbox. He kicked himself for sounding panicky as he answered.

"Hello?"

His father bade him no greeting, instead he got straight to the point of his call, giving Akashi news he hadn't expected to hear. Akashi felt dizzy with excitement and his lips broke into a manic grin. Things seemed to be changing for him, changing in a manner he hadn't been able to foresee. Since he had stepped foot on the train to Akita, Akashi had been suffering with the nausea and nervousness that life gave you when you wanted something desperately. It wasn't until he actually had run into Atsushi that he felt the worry lift from his being, the toxic clouds of loneliness and isolation leave his mind and body. Now that he was back in Kyoto, he was back to feeling the same nausea and nervousness. He missed his life at Teiko Middle School, missed his friends and his teammates. He missed being someone's attention, their little reason to blush and smile when he made eyes with them from across the gym.

He put the phone down without saying a word, his father would understand his enthusiasm and would probably appreciate his son not having a moment of euphoria in public. He swallowed the last of his tea and stood, pulling his coat back around his shoulder. He passed by the man in the lineup to return his cup to the barista and it didn't bother him that he was leaving the man staring after him longingly. He suddenly had another reason to smile.

 

* * *

 

Tuesday - October 18th - Morning

The light seeping into Atsushi's eyes was hitting him at the wrong angle. He tugged the bed sheets and rolled over, hoping to block out the light. Kise awoke with a start to a string of loud curse words. His eyes flew open and he leapt up, shielding his eyes from the glare of yellow that was penetrating his bedroom and reflecting back from the mirror at the foot of his bed.

Murasakibara was lying face down on the floor, picking himself up and mumbling obscenities as he stretched.

"Forgot where you were?" Kise giggled.

"Good morning to you too." came the grumpy reply. "The beds here are shit. Why did they make them so narrow?"

Kise giggled some more and turned the clock on the nightstand to check the time. It was a decent hour, class for him would be starting soon enough. It sent a thrill down his spine to have skipped out of class, to know that there would come no answer for his name in the roll call, but he found he could feel no guilt with Murasakibara by his side.

"In their defense, I don't think they were expecting to house such a giant." Kise jested. "Shall we get ready for the big day?"

"Are you normally this talkative in the morning?" Murasakibara grumbled.

Kise's breezy laughter caused Murasakibara to smile and the pair got up and dressed, just as they had in the middle school training camps. Murasakibara splashed water at Kise from inside the shower, and Kise had ate most of the breakfast by the time Murasakibara had gotten dressed.

Murasakibara's flamboyant purple hair glowed brightly against his black t-shirt, today's with a giant white skull in a spray-painted fashion across the front. Kise internally cringe at the thoughts that others would have against such a shirt, with metallic studs adorning rather cryptic imagery, but he put on a smile and forced the judgmental thoughts away. Should anyone wish to complain about his friend's attire, he would gladly complain about their face.

Murasakibara surprised him by eating a small breakfast and Kise found himself taking Akashi's old role of team-mother as they ate their food; forcing Murasakibara to take a portion decent to his size, he chided him for not taking better care of his body.

"You know what Akashicchi would have said to this?"

Murasakibara lowered his eyes. "Yeah."

"I won't let him know if you don't."

Murasakibara grinned back at him. "And I won't let him know you snore."

"I do not!"

The sun rested at a relatively high point in the sky when Kise checked his wristwatch. "Think it's too early to take a look around?"

"Where exactly are we headed?" Murasakibara called from the bathroom.

"I was thinking Rakuzan High, Akashicchi's new school. But the thing is, I doubt they'd appreciate us just walking onto their grounds during school hours."

Murasakibara came out of the bathroom with his hands busy fixing his hair in a secure ponytail. The tie was still in his mouth as he pulled his hair back. When he was satisfied, he removed the tie from between his teeth and began winding it around the bundle of hair. "So? It's better than doing nothing all day."

"Why don't we go check out Kyoto instead? I don't think it's smart to go walking around the schoolyard. What if they recognize us from other schools' basketball clubs? We can get our teams in a lot of trouble. Besides, if Akashicchi is in class and sees us, he might just leave."

"Aka-chin wouldn't just leave."

Kise raised an eyebrow. "He might. You know, we might be able to talk to him at his practice, but even then I don't think it's wise. His teammates might recognize us and think that we're up to no good, spying on their practice or something."

The blonde man could see his logic breaking down the younger one's impulsive plan. He pressed his advantage while he felt he still held the higher ground.

"Akashicchi doesn't live with his father. He never sold the family property in Tokyo for Akashicchi to move down here. If we can catch him at his apartment, wouldn't you think that would be a better, more private place to talk?"

Murasakibara pulled the chair across from Kise out and slumped at the table. "Fine. You're right. But I am only doing it because I don't want Aka-chin in trouble with his team."

Kise internally cheered for himself and smiled at his friend. "It'll work out. If you want, we can see if we can catch Akashicchi before practice start?"

"Sure. But aren't you leaving soon?"

Kise checked his watch again. "I should. I know I never told my Captain that I wouldn't be at practice today. But I don't think it's smart to leave you here alone."

"You don't trust me." Murasakibara mumbled. It wasn't a question. He was surprised by this observation but his voice had no emotion in it.

"No!" Kise cried out. "No, it's not that! It's just... Murasakicchi, I think I should be there. Akashiichi might feel like you came after him otherwise."

"But I did come after him!"

"No, no. I mean, he might feel threatened or-"

"But that's why I'm here! To explain to him that I'm not a threat to him and that what happened with Muro-chin has nothing to do with him! Or me!"

Kise couldn't hold back the laughter at his friend's childish banter. He had always known that Murasakibara was rather childish with his words, yet he was still rather adult in his conflicts; which he ended most of by surprisingly walking away. As he stubbornly held onto his reasoning, Kise laughed in delight of his simplicity of the situation: they had only chased his crush from one end of the country to the other to explain that he didn't become some raging, violent psychopath, and he did indeed still feel an extreme attraction to said crush, the extent to which he had never fully informed him of when they first dated in middle school.

Murasakibara was staring at him with confusion when he settled himself down. Wiping a tear from his eye, Kise waved a hand airily and smiled. "It's nothing, Murasakicchi, I just missed you a lot."

Murasakibara only smiled sheepishly.

Having nothing to do, they indulged in a cup of tea, as both had deemed it too early to leave the hotel yet. Murasakibara was oddly reminded of his chess games against Akashi in his hotel in Akita, not two days ago. He smiled at the memories and began to tell Kise of them, who was a patient listener and a good audience.

"What about you? How have you been?"

Kise grinned. "I've been good. I've been a mini-me of yourself down at Kaijo."

The pair laughed and Murasakibara wrapped his long fingers around the warm mug of tea. "What did you do that was so mischievous?"

"Oh, you know. The usual. Forgot my homework. Failed a test."

"That's not like me at all!" Murasakibara exclaimed in mock shock.

Kise giggled and smiled, acting innocent. "I'm sure it's nothing compared to the mayhem you cause at Yosen on a day to day basis."

Murasakibara smirked and winked. "Believe it."

"Tell me, what crazy things did you do there so far? Top three. Go."

Murasakibara leaned back and bit his lip, thinking of all the times he had gotten into trouble. "Well, I did put firecrackers in all the toilets one day."

"All? All the toilets? Even the ladies?"

"Yep. Even the ladies."

Kise burst into a fit of giggles that had him holding his stomach and crying. It took him several attempts to talk before he was able to form complete sentences again.

"H-H-How?!"

Murasakibara blushed and shrugged. "Just...walked in, put 'em in."

"Why?!" Kise managed to ask around his laughter.

"Yeah, well, it was for the full effect, eh?" Murasakibara shrugged again, "Can't have all the men go into the ladies just because I could only access a few bowls."

Kise waved his hands in front of his face trying to calm himself down. His chuckles slowed down and finally ceased, but looking back at Murasakibara's face had him lose all composure once more.

Murasakibara blushed and waited silently for his friend to once more regain himself.

"Did they-Oh boy, that was good! Did they find out who did it?"

"Nope."

Kise chuckled. "I bet they didn't even know where to start!"

"Well, they did have their guess, with my record of course. But they had no evidence, so..." Murasakibara flipped his hand over in the air with his middle finger held high, conveying the message he hadn't wanted to express aloud.

Kise smirked. "I should do that."

"Do it at Hallowe'en."

"That's a good idea. How did you managed to synchronize them all at the same time?"

"I didn't. I had them going off at random times all day. But mostly it was one after the other, so it appeared to be all at the same time. But if you do it, make sure you get the slow burn, long lasting, loud ones. They are the best!"

After a moment of silence, the blonde couldn't help but ask.

"But, why Halloween?"

"Because you have less of a cover than me. It's less obvious to be you and not the worst day in school to be playing a prank."

"That's true." Kise smiled at Murasakibara's logic, amazed by the way his friend could think when he wanted to. Dangerous despite his childish air, Atsushi was rather mature, cautious, and knowledgeable.

It reminded Kise of his basketball rival's attitude, the small forward that held his position before he had overstepped him to become part of the generation of miracles: Haizaki Shogo. Rumor had been that Haizaki was quite violent and Akashi had thrown him from the team for it. But Kise had always felt that his rival was quite charming and skilled, even at his position on the team, and he took Haizaki's resignation for his word. The same lingering qualities that Haizaki displayed: carelessness, recklessness, danger, they all seemed to be qualities that Murasakibara was able to emulate in a positive way. While Murasakibara was the poster child for teen angst, Haizaki was everything that Kise thought American media would deem as the 'cool villain.' Overall, in comparison to homely Murasakibara, Haizaki was downright shady.

Kise's eyes widened with sudden realization as he recalled meeting Haizaki recently, by complete accident, and he gasped his name aloud. "Haizaki."

Murasakibara's eyes narrowed. "What about Zaki-chin?"

"He's exactly like you." Kise whispered through numb lips.

"We're nothing alike, Kise-chin." Murasakibara stated, his eyes narrowing as he took offense to the comparison.

"No, I don't mean...not like  _that_. I mean, you're both  _dangerous_."

Murasakibara blushed before sitting up straighter. Even though he didn't like the association with something bad – and Haizaki was someone he considered bad – he felt confident in the ability to take care of himself and his friends, if ever things got rough. He didn't like the idea of being a bully, of being a monster as he had once been called for his size, but he did feel powerful. It was in that sense that he thrived in the police officer's advice: to become something that could use the power for good and take care of people, kind of like his super-idol Thor. He could begin to see Mine-chin's ideology with becoming a police officer in the future: to protect those he loves and to give back to everyone what was once given to him. Bitterly, he found he was now sipping from the same metaphorical cup of protection that Kyoshi Teppei drank from. He casually tossed the thought from his mind.

His recollection of Mine-chin's dreams of policing made him feel better about his burning desire to protect his friends and family. He could recall Aomine's words to him one day at lunch, spoken in low tones so others wouldn't hear after their annual career fair:  _"If I could give one kid what was given to me, just one opportunity in a safe, clean space, surrounded by people that they could trust and learn and grow with, I would give anything to pass that opportunity on."_  While he couldn't understand Mine-chin's words then, he could understand exactly what he meant now. And he felt that was the big difference between himself and Haizaki; he would fight to protect those he loved, Haizaki was simply fight for himself.

"What are you trying to say, Kise-chin?" he pressed him, not entirely sure how this sudden comparison meant anything in the moment.

"Himuro."

"Muro-chin? I'm  _confused_. What's he got to do with Zaki-chin?"

"It's why he likes you. You're dangerous. Just like Haizaki."

No more was needed to be said. Realization was dawning in Murasakibara's violet orbs. He sat back against his chair and let his eyes roam to his mug of tea.

"I see now."

"Did you never know  _why_  he liked you?"

"I figured it was to be flashy. If he were to go out with me, 'the Miracle basketball star of Yosen,' he would get recognized. And he knows Kuro-chin's new friend. I figured it was a way of getting back at Kaga-chin for getting so close to Kuro-chin."

"That makes sense. But even with Kagamicchi, it's the same profile: dangerous, rowdy, the kind of guy not afraid to throw a few punches."

"The kind of guy that Aka-chin likes."

"Exactly. Kagamicchi definitely caught Akashicchi's eye at the inter-high."

Murasakibara frowned. "What if Kaga-chin-"

"Not a chance." Kise cut off Murasakibara, not letting him even begin to question it. "Kagamicchi is not interested in men, especially short dangerous ones. I can assure you that."

Murasakibara nodded, glad for the reassurance.

"I saw Haizaki the other day." Kise began to inform Murasakibara, using the information as a distraction. "He didn't notice me, we never interacted. But I knew it was him; I could  _feel_  it. He was wearing a hat and this baggy jacket and walking around Shizuoka district. I was there to meet an old friend from work."

"Oh?" Murasakibara raised an eyebrow. He didn't say anything more, simply prompting Kise to keep explaining, since he wasn't sure how any of this tied together with Akashi or Himuro.

"He seemed scared, it reminded me of when he would see Nijimura-sempai coming around the corner. It's not usual for a tough guy like Haizaki to be scared. It made me feel...odd? Apparently, from what I saw, Haizaki was trying to keep his profile on the down-low. I would have asked him if he was okay but I didn't need him or any of the people he might have started a fight with to attack me. I assumed he was hiding from someone he had started a fight with."

Murasakibara nodded, his lips pressing into a firm line. He didn't like the mention of Nijimura, his previous worry coming back to him that he was the man Akashi was secretly involved with. Nijimura was Akashi's confide and – even if he wasn't in the country - Akashi would probably discuss Himuro with him, including the incident with the bird. Things could get messed up fast, especially since Himuro knew Nijimura. He recalled Himuro mentioning meeting Murasakibara's former captain as a means to introduce himself to the giant during their first day of practice, though at the time he hadn't really cared for this information.

"Let's walk." Murasakibara got up and headed to his bedside. "Get your coat Kise-chin, I want to burn off some energy." The hotel room suddenly felt too small and shrinking, and he was afraid he would break something or run out of oxygen to breath if he didn't get out there soon enough.

Kise stood and headed to the closet by the room's entrance. He too felt that the hotel room suddenly felt too stuffy for their conversation to linger here. He wrapped his coat around himself and tied a scarf around his neck for good measure. He didn't know if it was going to be cold in Kyoto today, but it had been getting colder as the weeks passed.

"Kise-chin, did you see my skateboard?" Murasakibara called from further inside the bedroom.

Kise produced the board from where he had tucked it, at the back of the hotel closet next to the front door, on the floor with all four dirty wheels facing down.

"Kise-chin, have you seen my skateboard?" Murasakibara came down the short hallway, worry in his eyes. At the sight of his beloved board he pulled Kise close and hugged him. "Thank you!" The words were vibrated against Kise's skull as he was pulled against Murasakibara's chest. "Thank you! I thought I left it on the train!"

Kise smiled against the giant's chest. "I picked it up for you."

The day was a brilliant one once they got outside, although it was indeed chilly. The winter air seemed to creep stubbornly into the early autumn months, much to Kise's annoyance. The pair walked past the train station and the taller man took the opportunity to suggest that the blonde return in time for his practice. But Kise shook his head.

"It'll be fine." he replied, punching in a message on his phone, letting his captain know he would be away.

The sun was beating down on them from overhead, but the warmth of its glow was masked by the frost, when the pair decided it was time to check out the school. It took several minutes to find their way through the labyrinth the streets of Kyoto was, even though Kise had been in the city several times before for work. The tall, glass peak of Rakuzan High reflected the sun and cast a blinding beam of light down at the pair standing just outside the tall iron fence separating the schoolyard from the city streets. The entire school was designed in modern fashion: edgy glasswork, strong metallic rods, and artistic shapes. All in all, it was an intimidating building to say the very least. The area around the buildings alone was extravagant and from their position on the streets, they could barely see the student life inside the building. The weight room was in full view of the side of the school though, with rows upon rows of machinery that helped students build and train visible through a wall of glass windows.

Murasakibara kicked a pebble and bit his lip. "He's in class."

"That's for sure."

"Should we wait?"

"Should we go?"

The pair walked around the perimeter of the building twice before deciding to head to a small cafe nearby for a late lunch. Murasakibara kept his gaze down, the residents in Kyoto stared at him with blatant disgust in their eyes and he didn't want to waste his patience on their judgments. He asked Kise to order for him and took a table at the back of the room.

"What's wrong?" Kise asked, bringing their food to the table with him.

Murasakibara took the sub-sandwich eagerly and began to tear into it with his teeth. Once he swallowed he took a sip of water. "Aka-chin doesn't belong here."

Kise noted how Murasakibara looked around the room as he spoke, animalistic in his judgments. "What do you mean?"

"He's not like this. Not some judgmental, uppity snob."

"Keep your voice down." Kise hissed.

"Excuse me, sir." A weak voice interrupted their conversation. "Are you the model Kise Ryota?"

Kise chuckled. It wasn't good for this information to be spread like wildfire when they were here skipping classes and attempting to find their former basketball captain.

"Uhh-" he stammered.

"Bugger off kid!" Murasakibara came to his defense. "He's not that prissy model."

Kise watched the boy's eyes go wide before he turned and scuttled away.

"You could have been nicer." Kise pouted.

"And have him stick around arguing with us? No. I think it's safer to be ruder. Makes them keep a distance."

Kise had to agree with the purple giant's logic. Before he could say anything though, Murasakibara had reached over and rubbed his fingers close to Kise's eyes.

"What? What are you doing?" Kise sputtered.

"Disguising you."

Murasakibara then rubbed Kise hair, tousling it into a mess.

Kise pulled out his cell phone and switched on the front-facing camera. Dark circled eyes stared back at him and his hair hung low over one eye. It was not at all a look he admired, but it would be enough to shed the peppy model glow he had going on and fit him in closer to Murasakibara's style.

"Thanks...I guess." he replied.

"Anytime." Murasakibara replied, before chomping off more of his sandwich. His own eyeliner was smudged now, and Kise could only guess it was from having to suddenly share it.

Once they finished eating, the pair headed back to Rakuzan. The afternoon classes had just switched so they killed some more time waiting to catch Akashi before practice started. The final bell had not rung when Kise pointed out that the large gym doors had been propped open.

Murasakibara tipped his board up into his hand and the pair got as close to the gate as they dared. A handsome man in a suit was pointing several things out to other boys in the gym, each in casual t-shirts and athletic shorts, several of them holding basketballs. It seemed practice here had already started.

Murasakibara stood up on his toes, stretching to see to the back of the gym. Kise chuckled.

"You're big enough, stop being so noticeable."

"I don't see Aka-chin."

"I don't either."

The pair waited for several minutes, watching a burly teen and a slender boy with long hair began leading the stretches and eventually beginning to lead the team out for the run. Akashi was seemingly confirmed absent.

"Quick!" Kise tugged at Murasakibara's arm. "We have to go before they run right by us!"

The pair jogged a short distance in the opposite direction of the school. Rakuzan's team, known for its high standards, had an unpredictable run and would often use different routes to ensure no one from the media or rival schools would be able to scope out their intense training regime. Not wanting to jeopardize their own teams, the two miracles headed back to their hotel.

"What a waste of time!" Murasakibara exclaimed once back inside their room.

"What is?"

"He isn't here."

"Maybe he's at home?"

"Could we go check?"

"Probably. I don't have his address though."

"Eh? Kise-chin, how did you intend to go to his house in the first place then?"

The blonde chuckled darkly. "I planned to just follow him."

"That's not creepy at all." Murasakibara muttered under his breath.

"Did you have a better id-"

An emergency alarm began ringing, the sharp sound resonating from Kise's pocket. He blushed and pulled out his cell phone, mumbling a quick, "It's home calling." Murasakibara narrowed his black-rimmed eyes.

"Hello?" the blonde answered as he turned away from Murasakibara. "Oh."

Murasakibara circled him to read his eyes.

Kise turned away; he didn't want the giant to see his shocked eyes. "We'll be home soon. No, it was just – yes. Exactly. I'm sure he knows."

Murasakibara walked around Kise and sternly glared at him. Watching Kise's face, Murasakibara found it impossible to be angry. Instead, he folded his arms and tapped his foot, attempting to be patient about the phone call.

Kise put a hand over the mouthpiece. "Your brother is at my house." he whispered.

Murasakibara felt his stomach drop and his eyes go wide. Kise could only mean his eldest brother, but that meant Fuji was at Kise's house? Why? Did he find the note and come all the way to stop Atsushi from trying to speak to Akashi?

He turned and made his way over to the sofa to sit down. His legs stuck out as he moodily slumped down in the couch, his head resting on the backrest. His long legs were bent, resembling a curled up spider, since the couch was too low for him to fit decently on. He pulled up his headphones, reached into his pocket to switch on his music, and allowed his mind to become numb as the drums of Slipknot's  _Heretic Anthem_  began to play.

He had gone three quarters of the way through the song when Kise tapped him on the knee. He opened his eyes and pulled off the headphones, clicking off the music.

"So your brother's at my house, but he didn't say that you ran off."

Relief coloured Murasakibara's face. "Oh." he mumbled, unsure of how to convey his emotions.

"He said that he knew you came to visit me and that he was sure we'd be back from our trip by now. When asked about this trip, he said he wasn't sure what the whole thing was about, so my mom said he could stay and wait for us."

Murasakibara's eyes drifted to the floor as Kise spoke. He shook his hair into his face to hide the tears forming in his eyes. "I guess we'll be heading back then?"

Kise's eyes widened as Murasakibara's deep voice crack. The beast of a man couldn't seem to hold the emotions flooding through him. Kise came to sit close beside him and rubbed his hand in what he hoped to be soothing circles on Murasakibara's back.

"Hey," he began in a soft voice. "Don't be so down. I said I'd help you find Akashicchi. I will help you find Akashicchi." he affirmed.

Murasakibara's tears wouldn't be forced back this time. Silence enveloped the pair, save for the audible tears hitting the floor between Murasakibara's feet. He didn't hiccough or sob, just let the tears fall. Kise put his head on Murasakibara's shoulder and felt the younger man wrap his hand around his own fingers. It was a small gesture for Murasakibara to hold Kise's hand, but the blonde took it to mean a sincere thanks.

The pair stayed that way for what seemed like eternity. Kise looked to the clock and found that more than an hour had passed away. Gently, he patted Murasakibara's large shoulder blade until the man moved. He sighed heavily before slowly turning his face to Kise. The man's eyes were red and swollen. Kise hadn't realized he had been crying this entire time. With his eyes red-rimmed inside the black coal, he looked like a man possessed.

"Come on. We should be leaving soon. Do you want to clean up a bit?"

Murasakibara nodded, his teeth closing in on his trembling lower lip. His fingers wrapped tighter around Kise's hand.

"We'll find him, Murasakicchi. Don't you worry." Kise resisted reaching out and tucking the soft lavender locks behind his friend's ear. "We just need to go talk to your brother. But we'll come right back, I promise you."

Murasakibara's eyes looked hollow, the light in them was masked with worry. The question was clear in his eyes: what would he do if Fuji made him go home to Akita without talking to Akashi?

"If I have to, I'll come back on my own to make things right." Kise promised his friend.

"You will?" Murasakibara asked, surprise in his voice.

"Yes. I will." Kise replied firmly, "And I'll keep coming back until things are made right."

With that, Murasakibara stood. Without much enthusiasm he grabbed the strap of his backpack and headed to the bathroom. Kise turned towards his own bag and sighed. It was going to be a late night if they were going to take the six hour train trip back to Tokyo in a few hours time.


	8. My Shadow is Hidden By Your Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

**Author's Note:**

This is the last of the originally published chapters that have been edited, so once more I want to thank all my readers and everyone that commented on this story, followed it, messaged me and asked for updates. Without you, I would have never returned to complete this story and I would have never felt this powerful connection that fandom and literature created. Once again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. And I hope that you enjoy the new chapters coming soon as much as you have enjoyed the story to here.

          - Witness

 

* * *

 

**Chapter 8 - My Shadow is Hidden By Your Darkness:**

Tuesday, October 18th - Evening

The train wasn't as crowded as it had been on the trip down. Kise found it harder to settled into his seat on the return trip since this crowd was less afraid to glare at them for Murasakibara's socially-unacceptable appearance. To conceal the red and puffiness as a result of crying, Murasakibara had thickened the black circles of coal that circled his eyes and painted his lips black. When Kise had asked why he had to look so scary he explained the makeup would cause people to look away from his eyes and focus on that exact question, so they wouldn't pity him. Kise found no argument for this. Murasakibara had put his headphones on after Kise hadn't spoken to him for ten minutes, and Kise found the pressure of small talk taken away. He was thankful that Murasakibara hadn't pushed him to talk, he had many thoughts to gather in his mind.

Murasakibara had put his hair in his face and Kise knew deep down that he was hiding his tears again. He reached his hand over and placed it in Murasakibara's. The man's fingers wrapped around it instantly and he knew that neither of them gave a single fuck to anyone watching them in the train. He didn't care that they were two grown boys on the train comforting each other. They were friends, best friends, and that's all that mattered. When Murasakibara hurt, he hurt. It had always been that way. It will always be that way. That's why they were close friends.

Murasakibara had been one of the first kids to befriend Kise when he had joined the boy's basketball club at Teiko. On their first night out as a team, he had been the only one to try and console him with paying for more ice creams and shedding the financial burden off the model. He was the first to defend him and back him up against the man that had stolen the older woman's purse. And he never had badgered Kise about his social status or made fun of his modelling career. Murasakibara was a rather low-key guy, with small interests and hobbies, but that had never stopped him from being the best friend Kise had ever had.

Kise gave Murasakibara's hand a squeeze as he thought of their past together. It was oddly comforting to be on a train with Murasakibara, hand in hand, at night, and just watching the city fly by them. He leaned on Murasakibara's shoulder and Murasakibara lowered his headphone's so Kise could whisper in his ear memories they had of their Teiko days. Tired from their sporadic trip to the south, the pair spoke in murmurs and shared an orange juice Murasakibara had in his jacket to keep them awake for the duration of the trip.

As the train slowed to its stop, Murasakibara stood and pulled Kise up with him. They gathered their things and walked hand in hand out of the train, Murasakibara being a giant shield that carved an easy pathway through the crowd for Kise to follow. Once outside in the open, Kise threw his arms around Murasakibara and hugged him.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so glad we got to see each other again and it's just been so messed up and I just- I just _missed_ you so much!"

Murasakibara chuckled in his ear and Kise was relieved. The taller man had stopped crying now at least, and it was a good feeling to hear his innocent chuckle. The pair walked back to Kise's house, taking their time to walk under the night sky. It was hard to believe that it was the middle of the week; they had both missed classes and shed their day to day responsibilities for this spontaneous and rather reckless venture down south, without any regard for their daily schedules. The blonde found himself giggling.

Murasakibara grinned; Kise's laughter was contagious. There was something about Kise that made Murasakibara feel hopeful about finding Akashi. He vowed to himself, as he walked slightly behind the blonde skipping around him now, that he wouldn't leave his friend behind again. He would be the friend that Kise had so clearly missed. It was hidden deep inside of him, and it needed some coaxing out, but Kise's friend was still there, just waiting to return.

There was a tall silhouette pacing in Kise's front room window, illuminated by the lights left on. Kise ran up the steps and unlocked the front door with his house key. As Atsushi made his way up the front walkway, he could see the figure immediately move so that it had left the living space and headed towards the front door. He shyly followed the blonde's lead up the steps and into the house, taking his shoes off with care.

Powerful arms wrapped easily around his neck and shoulders and crushed his headphones into his throat as he was suddenly caught in a tight hug. His eyes widened with the sudden affection, having anticipated being loomed over and lectured, and he glowed pink with a faint blush under his makeup.

"You're okay!" He could make out through the vibrations of his brother talking with his throat pressed against Atsushi's ear.

"I was until you jumped on me." He replied, humour tinting his voice. He wasn't laughing, but his lips were curved in a delicate, hesitant smile that seemed to waver, as if he wasn't sure how to properly smily anymore.

The arms removed themselves from his body and Atsushi turned in time to see Fuji wrap his arms around the blonde. "Thank you!" he was telling him repeatedly. "Thank you!"

"It was no problem. I had a lot of fun with Murasakicchi today!"

"I'll bet you did."

Kise's mom flipped on the lights above the stairs. "So you got in safely?" She asked, then stifled a yawn. Clearly, she wasn't the kind of parent to hover in her children's lives, but deep down she did care enough to stay up until they returned home.

"Yes, sorry to bother you mum."

She waved her hand airily. "Boys will be boys." she whispered and came down to hug her son. "Would you like anything to eat? I know it's late but you just got in."

Atsushi brightened. It was indeed late but some cookies would be good right about now. Kise read his eyes easily.

"Cookies and milk?" he shyly asked, knowing the gentle-giant's favourite pre-bedtime snack.

She rolled her eyes but smiled affectionately, clearly recalling the snack with fondness, and headed off to the kitchen. "Come help me."

Fuji held out his hand and pointed Kise to the front room. "Relax. Let me get them with her." Before Kise could protest, Fuji turned and headed into the kitchen as well.

The pair of high school boys found seats in the living room and made themselves comfortable. Atsushi took his headphones off his head and wrapped the cord around them, before putting them to rest for the night on his bag. Kise stretched out on the floor, happy to be able to take up space. He wiggled his feet and stood up and started walking in circles.

"Aren't you tired?" Atsushi asked him, stiffing a yawn behind his hand.

"I've been sitting too much on that train."

"Well I'm beat."

"Wash your face before you sleep."

"Yeah, yeah."

Fuji ducked to avoid hitting his head on the doorway and entered the room, bringing with him a plate of cookies and three glasses of milk on a tray.

"Alright." he set the tray on the table. "Let's talk."

"There's nothing really to say." Atsushi started.

"You didn't come all this way for _nothing_." Fuji smirked. He turned his attention to Kise. " _You_ tell me then, blondie. What happened in Kyoto?"

Kise blushed, not having been called the familiar nickname in about a year. "We went to find Akashicchi." He used Murasakibara's strategy and put his hair in his face as he dunked his cookie in his milk to avoid making eye contact with Fuji. He took a bite, trying not to bring more attention to himself, and ate slowly to avoid having to speak more than he had to.

"That much was obvious in his note saying he's going to Kyoto." Fuji rolled his eyes, teasing them with his sarcasm. "So what happened?" He pressed.

"We didn't find him."

"That's it?! So how come his eyes are all red then?" He pointed his finger at Atsushi as he bit into his own cookie. "Come on. Stop telling me what I can already guess and tell me what happened."

"I was upset." Atsushi blushed.

"Didn't kill another bird, did you?"

Kise chuckled into his glass of milk.

"No. Ask _blondie_." Atsushi sneered mockingly.

Kise spat his milk back into his glass as he burst out laughing. "Not you too, Murasakicchi!"

"He started it!"

"Aw, c'mon. I'm just making sure you're alright." Fuji protested weakly.

" _Sure_ you are."

"He _is_. Give him some credit." Kise snickered.

Atsushi rolled his bright eyes. "You're supposed to be on _my_ side, Kise."

Fuji fell silent, not wanting to push his younger brother. He was glad there was an air of humour amongst them, and he kept a watchful eye on the juniors as they ate their cookies. They sat in a lull of quiet for some time, the younger boys aware that their elder was watching them but not entirely bothered by it. Outside cars drove by, the wind picked up, and it began to gently rain. Without any reason, Atsushi reached into his pocket and retrieved his cell phone. Once it was free from his pocket, the vibration was audible and disrupted their quiet gathering.

"Who is it?" Fuji asked immediately.

Atsushi stood and left the room without a word, his face was grim, his phone was to his ear.

Kise stayed quiet. He turned to Fuji. "Well, that was odd."

"Just hang on, Kise. I need to know if that's mum." Fuji stood and followed his younger brother to the entrance, then slipped on his shoes and stepped outside after him. Atsushi had walked down the walkway and began pacing at the front gate. As Fuji approached, he could hear what his younger brother was saying:

"I don't understand why you keep calling me?" Atsushi paused, listening. "No. It's _not_ like that. Because I _don't_ care."

Catching his elder's eye, Atsushi flushed pink. "I don't fucking care what you say, Muro-chin!It wasn't like that!" He sneered and then paused again. "Is _that_ so? No, I didn't mean it like that! Because it was only one time! Fine, twice. Regardless, you _knew_ how I felt about it! Well because I fuckin' _told_ you! You're _so_ full of shit."

Fuji raised an eyebrow.

Atsushi continued his pacing. "I don't fucking give a fuck! Don't you fucking dare-No!" he paused. "No. Go to fucking Hell, Muro-chin." Atsushi ended the call and slipped the phone in his pocket. He turned to Fuji. "Does mum and dad know where we are?"

"I told them before I left."

"Everything?"

"No. Not everything. I just told them Atsushi got depressed about the whole situation with Himuro going on at his school and he went to see his friend Kise to cheer himself up. They thought it was a good idea, they knew how close you two were, so let me come over to check on you and told me to just let you have your time with your friend."

"Oh."

There was a silence.

"Himuro is still calling you?"

"All day. But I only answered now."

"It got pretty heated, huh?"

"Huh?"

"You're shaking."

Atsushi looked down at his hands, clenched into fists at his side.

"Yeah, well," he rubbed his nose. "He threatened to go to mum and dad. Like I'm some kind of child or animal he can control."

"C'mon." Fuji wrapped an arm around his younger brother. "Nothing's going to happen to you. I've got you now."

Atsushi squeezed his eyes shut tight and heaved a sigh. "Yeah, yeah. I'm just..."

"C'mon, Ryota's inside. We shouldn't just abandon him when he's doing all this stuff with us. Let's go in, see your friend."

The pair made their way back inside and Kise perked up at the sight of them. He put his own phone down and smiled sweetly at them. "I don't have quite the sweet tooth you guys do." He joked, pushing the plate of cookies towards the brothers.

Fuji took a cookie and turned to Kise. "So, you didn't find him? Akashi, I mean."

"No, we didn't." Kise smiled. "He wasn't at school."

"Did you stop by his house?"

"Didn't know where it was."

"And he wasn't at his team practice?"

"No. He was absent so we left. When we got back to the hotel, mum called and let us know you were here. So we headed back."

"I see."

"Well," Kise drank the last of the milk in his glass. "It's late and I'm sure we're all very tired."

Fuji stacked their glasses on the tray. "Leave it, blondie, I'll take it to the sink."

"I _live_ here, Fujicchi-sempai. I'll manage." The blonde stood and carried the tray out of the room with ease, his tone of voice playful.

Atsushi looked up from munching on the last cookie and met his brother's eyes. "What?" He asked, surprised to have been being watched.

"You look tired."

"I am fuckin' tired." The boy mumbled.

"You wanna try again tomorrow?"

"What?"

"Do you want to try to find Akashi again tomorrow?"

"Well..."

"If ya wanna, I'll take ya. But don't go running out on me. I'll take you in the morning if it means that much to you."

Atsushi's cheeks were dry from crying all day but his lips broke into a smile. "Thank you, Fuji-chin. It means a lot to me that you would do that."

Kise came to stand in the doorway, already changed into his pajamas. "You guys gonna stay in my room tonight or do you wanna stay down here?"

"Definitely in your room." Fuji replied, rising to his feet. "I trust you have something softer than a floor to sleep on."

"Not for your size." Kise jested, joking with his friend's older brother. "No, I'll find something. It actually might work out."

Atsushi picked up his bag followed the blonde up the stairs. "We're going to back to Kyoto tomorrow." He informed him.

"Eh? To find Akashicchi?"

"Yeah, I said I'll take him." Fuji clarified.

"Do you want me to come? I can-"

"You missed enough school because of me." Atsushi clarified. "You're not even in your school's district because of me. You should head back tomorrow before you get into more trouble."

"Right." Kise could see that he would lose the argument since Atsushi had his older sibling with him.

Kise led them to his room and then pointed out the bathroom for Fuji. Afterwards, he headed into the attic and came down with a large cardboard box. As the two purple-haired brothers cleaned up in the bathroom, he set up two air mattresses on his room floor, side by side. With little space left to navigate, he took the cardboard box and air pump back outside and left them in the hallway beside his room door. Then he headed to the hall closet and returned to cover both air mattresses with several blankets and an armload of pillows. It wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep, but it was bigger than his small bed, and with the Murasakibaras' bigger was always better.

Atsushi emerged from the bathroom in nothing but a pair of black cotton pajama pants and flopped down onto the the air mattress close to the head of Kise's bed. Fuji hadn't returned yet.

Kise smiled shyly at Atsushi and got into his own bed, already wearing his bright yellow tartar pajamas. "Good luck with finding Akashicchi tomorrow, Murasakicchi. I'll wake up with you tomorrow." He took his phone off the small bedside table and turned on an early alarm to wake them all up at nine in the morning.

Atsushi smiled but his eyes were already shut and he had buried himself in the soft blankets and pillows that his friend had given him. Kise could tell he was already almost asleep, having been tired out from their little excursion. The blonde settled into his own bed, nestling his cheek against his pillow, thinking of the nights he would spend in a room full of boys at training camps, and waited for Fuji to return and turn off the lights.

 

* * *

 

Wednesday, October 19th - Morning

 

The airport was crowded. Many travellers were pulling bags with them, flying solo at this early morning hour. Most of the people that had booked this early were flying for business or avoiding flying with families bringing children since no parent in their right mind would bring a child on a flight at seven in the morning. Despite the early hour, Nijimura Shuzo was bright eyed and energized. He smiled at his phone, checking the time, watching the numbers change from 6:59 to officially 7:00am. He only had half an hour before his flight, which was just enough time for a phone call. He selected a contact in his phone he hadn't viewed in a very long time and waited patiently for his call to be answered.

"Hello?" The answering voice was also awake and energized, not bothered by the early morning timing.

"Seijuro?" Shuzo's smile widened saying the boy's name.

"Nijimura-san?"

"It's good to hear from you, Seijuro. I hope I didn't wake you up."

"No, you didn't. I was awake. It's already eight a.m."

"Oh, good. Good. Yes, it is." Shuzo paused, taking in the busy airport surroundings. "I have some good news: I'm in Beijing. I'm just boarding my flight to Japan now."

"I know." Akashi smiled, speaking softly into the phone. He blushed despite being invisible to his ex-captain, feeling giddy and childish with the thought of him returning to the city. "I'll see you at the terminal in three hours."

Shuzo felt warm from the tone of the boy's voice. Pure admiration rolled off the phone in waves and he could imagine the redhead was blushing.

"Your father told you, I presume." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah."

"Of course." he paused, not at all bothered by the fact that his surprise had been ruined. "I thought he would, after I called him."

"Yeah, he wanted me to be there."

Shuzo chuckled. "I can see that." The call hadn't felt very long, but as he looked around he noticed the door for his flight had opened and a lineup for passengers to board had begun. "Oh shit, I gotta go now, they're boarding. Don't wanna miss my flight."

"Don't miss your flight. I'll see you soon." Akashi breathed. "Travel safely."

"I will. Thank you. Bye!"

Shuzo hit the disconnect button and grabbed his carry-on bag. He traded his phone for his passport in his pocket and headed towards the lineup of others catching his flight.

 

* * *

 

Akashi lay wide awake in bed in his old bedroom at his family's home in Tokyo. Having have such an emotional week, he allowed himself to lounge in bed in an attempt to feel rested. Usually he reserved lounging for when he was sick, an ideology instilled in him from his father that had become a paranoid habit he felt hard to break. Still, he supposed that being emotionally drained was a form of sickness, so he decided to take the moment and rest his body in order to keep from becoming physically ill. He had woken up a little over fifteen minutes ago when his alarm went off at 7:45, and allowed himself to stay in bed. He fought the voices in his head that told him he was being "unprofessional" by resting when he wasn't medically ill, especially since it was after seven in the morning and therefore time to be productive in the business world He drowned out the voices in his head and tried to relax, engaging his conscious in a meditation of gratitude.

He was glad he had spent the time enjoying the first minutes of his morning rather than rushing to get up and ready, since his phone rang on the hour and he spent the next few minutes speaking to Nijimura, his old teammate, captain, and close friend.

His father had informed him of Nijimura's return to Japan when he was at the cafe Sunday night and ordered him to immediately return home to Tokyo in order to greet Nijimura at the airport. Akashi had been more than happy to agree, so he headed back to his flat and packed a bag for his travels back to Tokyo. The next day on Monday, he had attended his classes and picked up his workload for the week, taking the opportunity to inform his teachers and coach at Rakuzan that he was heading back to Tokyo rather abruptly for family business. That night, he also took Reo out for dinner to go over the plans for the team's practice schedule for the week, trusting him to maintain his plans while he was away on business. Tuesday morning, he took the train home. He arrived home before his father was finished work and had taken the alone time to complete the assignments he had taken from his teachers to keep from falling behind in class. That night, he had a surprisingly pleasant dinner with his father, then a relaxing evening in the bathtub before bed. Today, he was to meet Nijimura at the airport when his flight landed, and he assumed after that they would see where things went since he had been excused from school for the rest of the week.

Akashi had kept in touch with Nijimura after the older boy had left to America, but their interactions became brief. At the most, Akashi was glad to hear from Nijimura in the form of an email every odd week, usually short and sweet and without very much detail. Nijimura didn't often get into long paragraphs about his days or his new friends or comrades; rather he had questions for Akashi or three or four interesting stories to share. Nijimura spoke a lot about his family and his classes, and on occasion about basketball or how odd he found American culture. His Japanese had become muddled with English and Akashi was glad for the excuse to exercise his skill in the English language. In return, Akashi had told him about his classes, his horse racing, and his shogi tournaments, as well as the on-goings of Rakuzan's student council, the basic standings for the various schools in the winter cup, and always commented on the content of Nijimura's emails.

He had just gotten off the phone with Nijimura and had been reading the email he received from Reo - his current shooting guard - regarding yesterday's practice. Reo had led the team in stretches and then taken them on a lengthy run around the perimeter of the school to warm up, before doing the drills Akashi had drawn up and then ended with three practice games. Akashi disliked missing practice and felt it was his responsibility to train his team, so he had drafted up the plans for the week and requested Reo keep him up to date, since he wouldn't be around. Nothing out of the ordinary was reported, the boys were doing well, and he felt now was the time to rise and get ready for his day when his phone screen suddenly displayed a call. His face broke into a grin as he accepted, sliding the green key to the right immediately before he could read the name or number, assuming it was Nijimura calling him back for a quick afterthought. He turned on his side, pressing his ear against the phone and burying his face into his pillow.

"Hello?"

"Akashi?"

Akashi paused. The voice was so familiar but pulling the phone away from his ear for a moment, he realized the number wasn't. He had just got off the phone with Nijimura, so he knew the number wasn't his. The number wasn't registered as out of the country at all; it was actually a number from Japan.

"I'm sorry, who?" He replied, trying to keep the call professional. He had gotten a new phone when he started at Rakuzan, and in an attempt to bury his feelings for his old teammates, he didn't add all the numbers back from his old phone. He wasn't sure if this person was a person from his past at Teiko or if it was a person calling him from Rakuzan regarding one of his many extra-curricular activities. It could have even been one of the men that frequented his new favourite cafe who he had been dazzled enough into giving his phone number to weeks ago that hadn't been brave enough to call him yet.

"Haizaki Shogo. Your old small forward, Teiko number eight." The snide voice remarked him, mocking his professional tone. The name jumped out at Akashi and pulled him out of the lull he had fallen into thinking of his new hookup joint.

"Yeah, yeah. I remember _you_." Akashi rushed to seem polite but couldn't keep the edge out of his voice. He still could recall being pinned to the gym wall by this bully of a player. He hadn't heard from Haizaki in two years, despite being in the same third year class in middle school. "How are you, Shogo? What can I do for you?"

"I'm alright." There was obvious excitement in the boy's voice over the phone and it seemed like he was nervous suddenly to speak to Akashi. "I was just, uhh, wondering if you heard about, uhh, Nijimura-sempai returning to Japan for a visit?"

"Yes. In fact, I just got off the phone with him." Akashi smiled, hoping the words played with Haizaki's fear. He recalled that Nijimura was the only person in the school that was able to tame the rugged boy. "I'm actually going to meet him at the airport today."

"Wait," Haizaki was brought up short. His voice had a startled tone to it. "So _you're_ in Tokyo?"

"Yes."

"I thought you lived in Kyoto now? Attending Rakuzan?"

"Yes. I do. But I came back to Tokyo to meet him."

"Oh. How did _you_ know he was returning?" Haizaki sounded somewhat disappointed. Akashi vaguely wondered why.

"My father informed me. Family friends and all." Akashi briskly replied. "How do _you_ know? You'd be the last person I would think to be informed of this."

Haizaki looked around and realized Akashi couldn't see him over the phone. "Uhh," he replied, conveying that he was thrown off by the question. "I, uhh, I heard from, uhh, my brother."

"Uh-huh." Akashi found this information odd. Haizaki seemed hesitant, as if he were avoiding letting his former captain know the truth.

"So, uhh, yeah. You were...going to meet him at the airport, then?"

"Yes."

Haizaki was silent. Akashi wondered if he should take the boy's silence as an indication that he wasn't sure _when_ exactly Shuzo would be arriving or if he could ask for more details. A small bubble of pity formed in Akashi's throat. He swallowed, trying to move the lump of guilt but it simply wouldn't pass. He bit his lower lip. There was only two reasons he could think for Haizaki's current reaction: he was either scared of Shuzo's return or he was _interested_ in it. He decided to explore the two possibilities, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Uhh," he found it hard to form the question. A sharp memory of Haizaki slamming him against the wall of the gym came to the front of his mind. Rather than feel angry because of it, a smile spread across Akashi's face. "Would you like to come with me, Shogo?"

Haizaki's reply was instant. "Sure! When do I meet you?"

Akashi smiled. So he _was_ interested in Nijimura's return. Odd. Haizaki had been Shuzo's _punching bag_ of sorts. He had always appeared afraid of Nijimura. He wondered if he was planning to challenge Nijimura for a re-match of sorts? Perhaps he had spent the last two years training to prepare for his own form of revenge? He decided to humour the boy and find out why he was so interested in Nijimura's return, having complete faith in his former-captain's ability to defend himself if Haizaki was trying to be intimidating.

After creating plans with Haizaki, Akashi disconnected the call and smiled to himself. He took the phone away from his ear to checked the time: it was eight thirty. The math was simple, Beijing was an hour behind Japan. That made it was seven in the morning in Beijing, China, when Nijimura had called him. He smiled. Nijimura would be landing at eleven forty-four in the Japanese time zone, a little under three hours from now. That gave him approximately an hour and a half until the time he was supposed to meet Shogo and a little over two hours until they were to be at the airport.

Akashi chided himself: answering phone calls while still in bed was unprofessional. He was surprised by his change in character, how depressed he had become at Rakuzan to simply begin missing school to see his old teammates and how he let his carefully perfected habits of professional mannerisms slip up. In truth, he knew he missed his life at Teiko Middle School: missed his friends and his teammates, his independence from his father and his ability to make choices about his life that allowed him to be social and less of a workaholic. He missed being someone's attention, their little reason to blush and smile when he made eyes with them from across the gym. And that was perhaps the reason why he was so restless with life at Rakuzan? He was missing his special someone.

He shook the thought from his mind and threw back his bed sheets to let the chill of the morning air jolt him awake and keep him from staying in bed any longer. Placing his feet into his house slippers, Akashi put his phone on the night table and began heading to the bathroom to prepare for the day. He wanted to look presentable and pick Nijimura up a welcome back present before he met with Haizaki to head to the airport together.

 

* * *

 

Haizaki put the phone down and sighed heavily. He was meeting Akashi in a little over an hour. They had decided ten o'clock, outside the arcade. He brushed his fingers over his forehead, squeezing the skin under his fingertips, and moaned. His back hurt from sleeping on the couch all night. He had fallen asleep there shortly after speaking on the phone with Kise Ryota. He recalled being nervous as he dialled the number, unsure of how his interaction with the blonde would go, but he didn't have any other contacts that he could rely on and this was a situation he was admittedly desperate to resolve.

Tuesday night - tired and barely awake - Haizaki dialled the number into the keypad on his phone and waited for Kise to answer.

"Hello?" Kise's voice was just as carefree as usual, but in this instance it sounded confused.

"Yo, Ryooota." Haizaki greeted him as politely as he could. He hated to, but he'd have to play nice just this once to get what he wanted.

"Haizaki?"

Haizaki could imagine the blonde's perfectly groomed eyebrows shooting upwards in shock. "That's my name, don't wear it out." He replied, trying to keep a flirtatious laugh in his voice.

"Funny that _you'd_ call me. You were on my mind all day." Came the blonde's honest response.

Haizaki felt his mouth go dry. It was his turn for his perfectly tweezed eyebrows to skyrocket on his face. He wasn't expecting this response. "I was?" His voice sounded surprised so he made an effort to play it cool and snorted. "Are you still haunted from being beat by me all this time?"

"As if." Kise protested, and Haizaki was sure the blonde had rolled his hazel eyes. Clearly Kise didn't buy into his tough-guy act; the model never had. "Actually, I was thinking of you in general: you know, stealing people's food and beating kids up."

"Oh?" he sneered. This had caught his attention and he answered with honest emotion. "What, you got no bullies at Kaijo? Or, let me guess, you need a hit? I can spare some muscle." He made a fist and looked at it with his free hand and inspected his fingers. A hangnail on his thumb caught his attention and he began to bite at it.

"No. It's not that."

"Don't tell me that you _miss me_." he sneered. The thought sounded insane.

"No! _Not at all_!" Kise's voice hitched up and Haizaki was bewildered. Perhaps he really _did_ miss him and was simply trying to hide it?

"Then _what_?"

"Well, it's not important, Haizaki-"

"You spiked my curiosity, Ryoooota. Don't make me come and choke it out of ya."

Kise was quiet for a moment before he answered. "This is stupid to ask you, but I'd appreciate it if this stays just between us."

Haizaki was quiet for a moment, processing what Kise said. "Kay." He replied, agreeing to the terms, "I'm listening."

"I _mean_ it."

"Yeah, yeah. Between us. God Ryooota, who the fuck would I tell anyways?" Haizaki emphasized his understanding. He readjusted his position on the couch and felt more awake. Who knew when he called him that Kise would have spare gossip to share? It had been some time since Haizaki had heard any, preferring to stay in minimal contact with his new teammates at Fukuda and falling out of contact with many of his ex-teammates from Teiko. In truth he missed the guys, but after being so sidelined from them for the last two years of middle school he found it hard to forgive them and try to make peace.

"You remember how Akashicchi and Murasakicchi had a thing once, right?"

Haizaki's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Yeah, they were an item one time, weren't they? First couple on the team. How the fuck does this have anything to do with me?"

"Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm getting to that! They broke up before we all left Teiko and it's...I guess it's brought out the worst in Murasakicchi." Kise paused. "He's a lot like you now."

"What? That purple retard like me?" Haizaki snorted. All he could remember of the titan was that he was tall - literally gigantic - and he liked food. He had heard that Murasakibara said he disliked basketball or something and that he was self-conscious because of his size. But ultimately, Haizaki often thought of Muraskaibara as a gentle giant and not anything like himself.

"No, I'm serious." Kise pressed, his emotion catching Haizaki's attention. Kise seemed distressed by this. "He's been...quite violent."

Haizaki was silent for a moment. He hadn't anticipated the conversation to head in this direction. If he were to comfort Kise, they would be too close for comfort. If he were to hang up now, he wouldn't get his information. Unsure of what to do, he lamely tried to throw in his typical Haizaki humour.

"And that reminded you of _me_ , baaaka?"

Kise blushed into the phone. "W-well, yes. I mean, he beat the crap out of this one boy-"

"Well, I pity him."

"What?"

"That boy. I pity him. I wouldn't want to fight that titan." Haizaki licked his thumb.

"Yeah, no kidding."

There was a thick silence as both the boys were stunned that they agreed for once.

"Annnyways," Kise began after the silence felt suffocating. He suddenly sounded self-conscious, the emotional concern for Murasakibara dropping from his voice. "Why did you call me?"

Haizaki laughed. "I thought you'd never ask, Ryooota. I was wondering if you had Daiki's new number."

"Aominecchi's number?" Kise sounded surprised again. "Sure. Why? Do you need to talk to him?"

"No, I just want to order a pizza." Haizaki threw in more humour. "Baaaka. No, 'cause I saw him the other day and promised to call but I lost his number."

Kise giggled but, thankfully, read him the number off the screen of his own phone.

"What happened to your phone, Haizaki? How did you lose his new number?"

Haizaki grew uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had turned. "I, uhh, dropped it." he replied, kicking himself for such a lame excuse.

"It smashed during another fight then?" The voice on the other end of the phone teased.

"No!" His quick reply was too defensive. "Ahh fuck. I, uhh, got held up. One of my brother's, uhh, opponents smashed it."

"Wow! That's new! You're even starting fights with older boys now!"

"No," He scratched the back of his head. Well, Kise had told him some gossip, so fair was only fair. "They came after me." He admitted.

Kise waited, his curiosity leaking into the phone.

"My brother provoked them. They were just trying to get back at him by beating me up."

"I didn't realize being a bully runs in your family."

"Fuck you!"

Haizaki slumped moodily against the couch cushions as he recalled the boys chasing him. They had caught up with him and hit the phone out of his hand as he was trying to call his older brother and inform him of the situation. He had managed to get away with only a twisted wrist.

"Wait," the blonde paused, pulling him back to reality. "If you broke your old phone, how do you still have _my_ number?"

Haizaki chuckled. "I have it in the Teiko yearbook. Your's and a few of the other guys. Murasakibara's, which I never tried. And Akashi's and Daiki's old numbers."

He thumbed through the pages as he spoke, the book open on the living room table.

"Oh. Right." Clearly the blonde hadn't thought of that.

"Well, thanks Ryooota. You're not so much of a baaaka, I guess."

Haizaki had been the one to disconnect the call. He called Aomine shortly after and fell asleep still talking to him. He had intended to get Akashi's number from Aomine and call the redhead last night, but the bluenette didn't have any acknowledgement of the time.

Stretching his stiff back, Haizaki checked the clock on the wall above the front door: it was 8:43 in the morning. He had an hour to get ready before he'd need to leave to meet Akashi, which was more than enough time to clean up and get dressed, meaning he had time to panic. He forced himself to stand and decided to call Aomine and thank him for giving out Akashi's new number. This time he would just have to make sure he got off the phone in time to actually meet Akashi.

 

* * *

 

"Hello, is Aomineicchi there?"

"Yo, baaaka."

"Haizaki? Is that you? Is Aomineicchi there?"

"He dropped his phone. He's looking for it right now."

"But I just called his number."

"No, you just called me. Baaaka."

"No, I just called Aomineicchi."

"You just called me, baaaka. Baaaka. Baaakaaaaaaaaaa-"

Haizaki's voice started to twist into the sound of a braying goat. "Baaaah-ka, Baaaaaaah," It growled, and then became a rumbling scream.

Kise's eyes flew open. He sat up in bed, throwing the sheets down in fright. He had tried to call Aomineicchi the night before, but the man wasn't answering his phone. He shook his head and forced himself to breathe deeply. Speaking to Haizaki and then trying to contact the bluenette must have subconsciously shaken him.

At the heart of it, he knew the nightmare must have stemmed from the unnerving phone call he had received from his rival last night more than from his lack of contact with Aomine. Kise was surprised when the call appeared on his phone screen; he hadn't recognized the number and he wasn't sure of anyone that would call him that late. He planned to ignore the call, but Atsushi had just left to answer his own phone and Fujicchi had followed him out so it wasn't like he would be rude.

Kise had felt unnerved since he heard Haizaki's voice. The boy had indeed grown into a man, the depth of his voice had proven that quickly. But he couldn't place why exactly he had felt so unnerved by him. True, they hadn't spoken since their middle school days, but that wasn't any call for alarm. He had wanted to speak to Aomineicchi, which seemed reasonable. Kise recalled they often would play one-on-one together whenever they felt the itch during an off-season; they both had a liking for similar music and women so it wasn't always so irritating for Aomine to spend time with Haizaki, as it was for the rest of the Teiko Miracles.

During their call, Kise had told Haizaki about Murasakibaricchi, but he still felt that it was pressing more on his own chest than it would on Haizaki's. Would Haizaki tell anyone that he said that? Maybe that's what Kise felt was disturbing him. The silver haired boy said he had no one to tell, but he was going to give Aomineicchi a call...

Kise frowned and threw a hand over to the night table. He picked up his phone and squinted at the bright screen to read the time. It was eight forty-five. His alarm for this morning hadn't gone off yet. He was already missing first period, as he knew he inevitably would, so he didn't let the fact that he slept in today bother him. Instead, he shrugged and tried to calm himself down from the weird Haizaki nightmare. He'd wake the purple brothers up at nine when his alarm went off and they'd get ready and leave for the train together. He would leave them to their quest to find Akashi and head back to school after he had seen them board the train for Kyoto.


	9. Your Darkness Calls Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

**Author's Note** (October 2018):

This is the first of the previously unpublished chapters and I admit I am both nervous and excited to finally release it. This chapter in particular was half-written and sitting in my documents for the past three, maybe four, years. The ideas were all outlined, but the time and dedication just went missing. I sincerely want to thank all my readers and everyone that commented on this story, followed it, messaged me and asked for updates once again. I want to give a very special **shout out to Dragonblaze66 and Poseidon321**  (on fanfiction.net) for directly messaging me and requesting that I return to finish this story. Seriously, you two lit a fire inside me to finish this story and I really am touched by how much you've enjoyed it. So thank you, thank you, thank you so, so much! And I really hope that you enjoy how this story unfolds.

\- Witness

* * *

**Chapter 9 - Your Darkness Calls Monsters:**

Wednesday, October 19th - Late Morning (10:00 am)

 

Akashi had taken his time to get ready before leaving the house. He was meticulous in the washroom, making sure he washed his hair and would have a dazzling, welcoming smile. After his usual warm shower, he shaved his cheeks, chin, and throat with his new, sleek five-blade razor - as had recently become a new part of his daily routine. Then he used a hair dryer and a vented hairbrush to style his crimson strands in a loosely flyaway look. Afterwards, he had used his best cologne, and - still getting used to the slight sting - he dabbed on some aftershave, before leaving the bathroom.

Finding an outfit proved to be more challenging than his routine in the bathroom. He wanted to meet Nijimura in something that was elegant and attractive, but not something that screamed 'business only.' He bit his lower lip as he stood gazing around at the various options he had to choose from in his large walk-in closet. It was dissatisfying to him each time he pulled out the exact pair of pants that would be stylish and casual, or the perfect dress shirt, only to find that he had grown either too tall or too broad to fit it comfortably. Frustrated, he threw the outgrown clothing on a spare shelf at the back of the closet, intent to remove it later. After he had narrowed down his choices, he decided to find something that was more casual to wear and decided to pair his comfortable white jeans with his cloud-grey long sleeve shirt. It was a rather stylish outfit, being various shades of white, and he decided to add a black leather belt, a hounds-tooth patterned scarf, and a black blazer overtop to create a startling contrast. As a finishing touch, and a last minute thought, he grabbed his pair of rectangular, matte black sunglasses from his glasses rack and his crimson leather dress shoes, and then collected his phone and wallet and left to meet Haizaki.

He spent the hour preparing to leave, so by the time he left the house he hadn't had time to stop by any of the shops and pick up a gift for Nijimura. He frowned, realizing he would either have to buy the gift with Haizaki or simply make the thug wait for him to be late. But being late wasn't a professional image, and Haizaki wasn't the type of man that would be very patient. He decided to go to the arcade first and then visit a few gift shops with the man before they headed to the airport.

The arcade was busy, despite it being Wednesday morning. Akashi was amazed by the amount of kids that should have been in school that he could see inside the arcade, playing games and interacting. It was understandable to him now that Haizaki was easily tempted to skip middle school classes and basketball practice in order to spend time at the crowded arcade. Akashi had lost himself for a moment watching them all, wondering what their backstories were, how they met, and why they were there, when Haizaki approached him.

"Akashi." Haizaki greeted him. He usually would greet old friends by sneering at them and taunting them, maybe even being bold enough to reach out and push them around a bit. But with Akashi he was careful, approaching him with his hands in his pockets and simply stating his name in a wavering voice.

Akashi turned and, for a moment, he seemed lost for words. He hadn't expected Haizaki to have altered his appearance so much. The silver-haired man had braided all his hair along his scalp in tight rows, creating the impression that his hair was darker and shorter than it actually was. Outside of his school uniform, Haizaki wore a jet black, zip up hooded sweater and dark grey-washed ripped jeans. A heavy grey chain hung on his left hip and a thick silver chain hung around his neck. His earrings were the same thick silver one he had worn to Teiko, matching the necklace, but they were more obvious now with all his hair braided back and worn neatly out of his face. He still wore his basketball shoes, and he had grown taller than Akashi last remembered him to be, but his hand at his mouth was the same habit Akashi had known him for and gave him the same, unique aura that identified Haizaki as a one-of-a-kind troublemaker.

"Sho-Shogo." he greeted him, stammering for once. "I...I didn't recognize you."

Haizaki grinned proudly, taking Akashi's words to be a compliment. "Really?" He asked, "It's the hair, right?" He removed a hand from his pocket and ran it over his head, his fingers running over his tight braids and showing off the thick silver rings he was wearing.

Akashi smirked, not wanting to tell Haizaki it was his entire appearance. "It is." He simply agreed.

Haizaki smiled awkwardly. He usually would pull a 'stop gawking' comment at this point, or flirtatiously try to make a move, but this was Akashi – and he was always weary of Akashi.

"My father wouldn't approve of me associating with you now." Akashi stated coolly, "Or ever. More so now. But I think that you look really nice, Shogo."

Haizaki hadn't expected the compliment from Akashi. His cheeks tainted the faintest shade of pink and he rolled his eyes. "Thanks Akashi," He mumbled, "I wouldn't really care what your pop thinks, but it's kinda nice to know you aren't totally ashamed to be seen with me."

Akashi chuckled lowly and stepped closer to Haizaki. "Well, as long as it makes you feel comfortable." he shrugged. He didn't want to admit it, but Shogo's appearance reminded him of Atsushi's recent makeover: dark colours, heavy metal, and an intimidating, almost-violent aura. It thrilled him, and he struggled to keep his attraction for this new dangerous man to a controllable level.

"Well, that's...that's rather compassionate of you." Haizaki replied, "I thought you would be personally offended or some shit." he chuckled, trying to keep their conversation as natural as he could.

Akashi smirked, "It would be appropriate for me to be. But there's something about bad boys..." He didn't finished his sentence, letting the words hang themselves in the air between them.

Haizaki was nervous, not sure if he wanted to prompt Akashi to finish what he was going to say or not. There was a unique energy between them now, similar to an electric charge, and it made Haizaki feel awkward. He gave his head a small shake, licked his thumb, and then motioned for Akashi to follow him. "Have you eaten yet? I'm starvin'."

Akashi followed him, easily stepping up to match his pace so they were walking side-by-side. "Have you got anywhere in mind? I could go for something light, actually."

Haizaki grinned, "There's a great little place around the corner from here. I used to go a lot when we attended Teiko."

"And Nijimura-sempai would find you there a lot and beat you up before bringing you back to practice, right?" Akashi teased him.

"I guess you could say that." Haizaki shrugged and a cocky smile. He found it odd that hanging out with Akashi was actually quite relaxing, and he could be his usual selfish-self without worrying about hurting the redhead's feelings or argue with him. Akashi didn't seem to take anything Haizaki said personally. "But sometimes he would join me there."

"Really?" Akashi asked. This information surprised him. "And do what?"

"Drink tea, they have a lot of kinds there. Or he would check his phone. He was nice enough to let me finish eating or watching my videos or something before he would kick my ass back to school."

Akashi chuckled. "What kind of food is there?" He asked, trying to think ahead of time as to what he would want.

"Mostly sushi, some salads. It's not really a cafe." Haizaki replied. "It's right here."

Haizaki pointed out the small building, and he was right, it was indeed close by. The venue was small, but cozy looking, and it was very adorable. Painted in light pastel colours and displaying a variety of frosted cupcakes in the glass window, it was hard to imagine Haizaki would frequent such a shop. But Akashi wasn't stupid; he could tell that the motivation for Haizaki to be in such a place wasn't the shop itself, but rather the clientele that it would attract.

"Oh, I've been here once." Akashi admitted, "Atsushi-" he paused, realizing it was one of his favorite memories from his last year in Teiko. "-brought me here after we qualified for the championship in third year." he mumbled.

Haizaki smiled at Akashi, then held the door open for him. "Good, then you should know the menu a little." he replied. He recalled the conversation he had with Kise earlier and felt oddly grateful for the blonde's gossip; without it he would have been terribly confused and probably overstepped boundaries by teasing Akashi. But he knew that it wouldn't be fair or wise to make fun of him, especially when he was helping him find Nijimura.

Akashi nodded and entered, then stepped up to the small counter. It wasn't a bakery, but rather a small lunch place that happened to serve baked desserts as well. He ordered himself a chicken teriyaki bento box, with a strawberry macaroon for dessert. It surprised him when Haizaki stepped forwards immediately afterwards, going to place his order as well.

"I'll pay for the meals, Shogo." Akashi informed him in a soft but firm voice, not wanting the man to pick up the bill himself when he was done ordering.

"No, it's fine, Akashi. I'll pay." Haizaki replied.

Akashi's heterochromic eyes widened and he shook his head. "No, no. In that case, I'll pay my own."

"Ar-Are you sure?" Haizaki replied, surprised. "I mean, it's the least I could do since you're helping me out."

Akashi nodded, "It's alright. Though, I do appreciate the gesture."

Haizaki nodded and stepped back to let Akashi pay, not wanting to argue with him. He felt bad that Akashi would pay for his own food, especially since eating out was his idea, but he was also glad. Usually he would have commented that it was less money for him to spend and shrug it off, but he felt that was strangely uncalled for, especially since Akashi and him were oddly bonding.

When Akashi had paid, Haizaki stepped forwards and placed the exact same order of him, then paid for himself. They waited in an awkward silence as their food was prepared and placed on a single large tray. They both reached to take it and the backs of their hands brushed against each other's, causing an electric charge to rush through them both. They both pulled away at the same time and jumped, meeting each other's eyes in surprise.

"Um," Haizaki blushed.

"You can take it." Akashi replied, turning and pointed out an empty table near the back of the shop. "I'll get us some tea."

Haizaki nodded and brought the tray with him to the table. He placed it down, then took a seat and picked up his chopsticks, rubbing them between his hands briefly before he began to eat.

"I actually wanted to go see if I could get Nijimura a welcome back gift." Akashi began, setting down two cups of complimentary green tea that was available for the cafe's guests. Then he sat down as well, picking up his own chopsticks and glancing up at Haizaki, "But I didn't want to make you wait for me. I had a hard time finding clothing that I didn't grow out of, so I was late leaving the house. We're going to have to stop by one of the contemporary shops before we head to the airport to pick him out a gift. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all." Haizaki replied around the food in his mouth. "Actually, could we go half-ers on that?"

Akashi placed some food in his mouth, trying to conceal the fact that he was frowning. This was unexpected. He wasn't sure if he wanted the gift to be from both of them, and he didn't understand why Haizaki would even bother to give Nijimura a gift. At the same time, he didn't want to discourage him if that was what he wanted to do. "Sure." he replied, "I don't mind. Do you have any idea what he would like?"

Haizaki snorted, "I wouldn't really know, Akashi. Maybe a punching bag?" he laughed.

Akashi smirked, "I don't want to get him anything too ritzy." He explained, "So anything like jewelry would be too...much." he reasoned.

Haizaki nodded. "Well, should we get him something that he wouldn't have had in America?" He asked, raising one eyebrow. "Like...I dunno, something geeky?"

"I liked your idea of a punching bag better."

"Well, we ain't putting a bow on me and calling it a day, so don't give me any funny ideas."

Akashi laughed. "We can always check the shops when we get there."

"Better to narrow it down now." Haizaki reasoned.

They continued to eat, discussing an idea for what the gift should be. It was a surprisingly easy-going hang out, and both men were pleasantly surprised to have actually enjoyed themselves. Akashi was surprised by Haizaki's calm attitude, having heard from others that he was quite aggressive recently and had a direct and unrelenting disrespect towards any authority. He wondered what it was, and how much it involved Nijimura, to have changed Haizaki's attitude today.

They were both careful as they finished their food and rose from their seats, each reaching out for opposite ends of the tray. Haizaki easily took it out from in front of Akashi and carried it back to the counter, then met Akashi outside the shop.

"Where to?" He asked, checking the time on his phone. It was eleven o'clock now, so they had just under half an hour before they would have to start heading to the airport.

"Heaven's Bells?" Akashi suggested, not sure if it was the right place to shop for Nijimura or not. Still, it was a rather classy store with many different gifts for this type of situation.

"Are we gettin' him a teddy bear?! C'mon, Akashi! That's for little girls." Haizaki complained, "Let's go to Sportz, there's got to be something like a wrist band or a new hat or something we can get him instead."

Akashi nodded, "That sounds good." He replied. Now that he knew how Haizaki would behave, he was glad that Haizaki was coming with him to get Nijimura the gift. That way they could get him something that was more likely to be appreciated and used rather than something that was just be treated as another desk ornament.

They headed to Sportz quickly, taking the bus to shorten the trip. Haizaki felt weird having Akashi by his side, having obtained a lot of dirty looks from people that were assuming he was stalking him or being watched by his school sempai for misbehaving. Akashi seemed to gloat about this, finding an odd satisfaction in being seen as the dominant one in the relationship.

After heading into the store, they decided it was best to split up and combed through the entire store by dividing it in two, then meet in the middle and go through the list of things they had come up with to buy Nijimura. They were both rather fast about it, meeting up five minutes after entering with a short list of items each. They quickly discard all idea of water bottles, sports bands, and other small items he could have gotten just anywhere. As a result, they were left with the idea of buying him a shirt, which Haizaki struck down immediately. "Clothing is too personal." he reasoned, "And he could get it in America too."

Having not found anything they were happy with, they left Sportz rather discouraged. Acting on impulse, Akashi decided to grab Haizaki's hand and dart across the street suddenly, spotting a music store that looked hip and trendy. Haizaki was surprised by Akashi's boldness and his brash idea to cross the roadway without an official crosswalk, and he found himself smiling at the sudden disregard for the rules.

"You're not as prim and proper as I thought you were." He told Akashi as they entered the store, grinning down at the redhead.

Akashi smirked in return, "You're not as misbehaved as I thought you were." He retorted, teasing the thug.

They began to walk through the music store, pointing out t-shirts and various movie-inspired collector's items. Haizaki pointed out a functional pair of handcuffs inspired by a recently popular criminal action movie, but Akashi pointed out the sexual innuendo that would accompany it, surprising Haizaki with his knowledge on BDMS culture. They decided that the best thing to get Nijimura would be food, but on their way to the checkout counter with some of his favorite chocolates, Haizaki pointed out a playful table tennis paddle to Akashi. Nijimura was known to play the sport as his hobby, a means for him to combine his strength and his agility without getting too heated with drives or martial arts, so the boys both agreed that it would be the best gift they could give him since it was close enough to be friendly but not intimate. The paddle was a traditional colour scheme with a warm wooden handle, but it had a large, yellow comic balloon on it with spikey corners and the work "Slam!" in large green letters printed on the flat of the paddle where the ball would hit. As an afterthought, they added a pack of six tennis balls to their purchase, each reading a different funny thing, such as 'catch this' or 'hit me with your best shot.' They split the bill between themselves and requested that the cashier would place the items in a gift bag, rather than anything tacky and cheap, like a disposable plastic bag.

Haizaki let Akashi take the gift bag as they left the shop. He checked the time and then pointed out to Akashi that they should take the bus to the airport now. They were lucky to not have been too far away, but the trip to the airport still felt like a long one. They were quiet for the first half, not sure of what to talk about, but then Akashi had began to tell Haizaki about his horse, Yukimaru, for no reason in particular and it had worked to create a conversation.

The conversation did little to relieve them of the tension between them. Rather than feel suffocated by each other's presence due to their differences, Akashi and Haizaki were overwhelmed by how well they had gotten along. Haizaki found himself clenching his hands into fists inside his zip up sweater's pockets, and Akashi was visibly holding the gift bag handles in tight fists, as if both boys were trying to keep from reaching out for the other.

As they exited the bus at one of the busiest stops, Haizaki found himself reaching out and taking a hold of Akashi's hand to avoid losing him as they headed out of the depo. He had done it without thinking, just as Akashi had when the redhead had pulled him across the street to the music store. However, unlike Akashi, once they had cleared the crowd, Haizaki didn't release his hand. They walked towards the airport with their hands clasped together and it wasn't until they had arrived at the public side of the terminal gate that they released each other. At this point, neither was speaking and both were avoiding each other's gaze. Haizaki forced himself to break the awkward silence they had found themselves in.

"Look, uh, Akashi, what happened just now," He began, trying to find the right words to express himself. His mind felt like a heavy cloud had descended inside it, making everything seem hazy and unclear. "I...I don't really know what happened just now, or _why_ , but I just...wanted to make sure you feel...what do you feel? I'm not sure if you think it means anything." He continued awkwardly, trying to express himself.

Akashi lifted his face to gaze up at the taller man, biting his lower lip. "Um," he mumbled, "I'm not...I'm not too sure either, Shogo." He replied honestly, feeling guilty about how he honestly felt."I am...confused as well. I just...I _enjoyed_ it."

It was true. Akashi had liked how his hand felt in Haizaki's. For some reason it felt safe and comfortable. He still felt in control, he still felt dominant, but for some reason he also felt like he would be opposed as well, and opposition always secretly aroused him.

Haizaki's eyes narrowed slightly at Akashi's response, and then, without warning, he leaned down and pressed his lips against Akashi's. The redhead jolted away for a second, surprised by Haizaki's sudden kiss, but before the thug had a chance to pull away and realize his kiss had been rejected, Akashi leaned in and closed the gap between them once more, kissing Haizaki back.

At first their kiss was experimental, shy, and awkward. They both seemed to be holding their breath, their eyes gazing into each other's, trying to read the other's emotions. But then the energy between them seemed to increase, as if the kiss had activated a fuse and charged them with the electricity that had consumed the environment between them. Akashi closed his eyes first, then leaned in and began to let the kiss guide itself, his lips moving in synch with Haizaki's.

Haizaki groaned softly, his hands leaving his pockets as his arms wrapped around Akashi, holding him firmly. He breathed heavily against his lips, beginning to roughly move against Akashi. His arms pulled the smaller man closer to him, and Akashi wrapped his arms around Haizaki's waist in return. They kissed passionately for a moment, then pulled away.

Akashi wiped his lips with the back of his hand, feeling the heat in his cheeks and an odd euphoric rush of satisfaction. Haizaki's kiss was so different from all the kisses he had ever experienced in life so far, and he was thrilled to finally feel the passion behind a kiss. It made him feel guilty recalling all the kisses Murasakibara and him shared, and it reminded him of the one passionate kiss they shared at his house almost two years ago, in which Atsushi had been hesitant to grab him and kiss him the way Haizaki just had. He bit his lower lip, trying to figure out if he was attracted to Haizaki or if he simply was attracted to the aggressive, challenging attitude Haizaki embodied.

"Akashi,"

"Haizaki,"

They both tried to speak to the other at the same time, their voices both holding the same confused but attracted tone.

"You first,"

"Go ahead."

They both paused, having given the other the moment to speak. They both clearly felt something towards the other, the problem was they were both confused as to whether it was a serious feeling or just a side effect of not having their poor expectations of the other fulfilled.

But they were never given the chance to discuss their newborn feelings since the glass doors at the end of the terminal parted and a steady stream of people began to file out, carrying backpacks and dragging suitcases behind them. They checked the board, skimming it quickly to find out if the passengers on Nijimura's plane would be part of this crowd. To their surprise, his flight had landed several minutes ago, so it was most likely that he would have had the time to check in, collect his luggage, and be a part of this crowd.

And just as they realized this, they spotted their ex-captain's tall, toned frame walking out of the crowd. He was fast and stepped with purpose, and a wide grin crossed his face as his eyes landed on Akashi, spotting him first because of his vivid red hair.

"Akashi!" He beamed, rushing over to him. His voice had dropped lower since the last time Akashi had spoken to him and the dark-haired man was quick to let go of his suitcase handle in favour of wrapping his arms around the smaller man. "How are you?! I'm so glad to see you again!"

Akashi sighed happily against Nijimura's chest, his arms wrapping around the older man. It wasn't professional to hug his ex-teammate in the airport, but at this point Akashi didn't care; Nijimura and him had history, and he was glad to be able to hug him once again. "I missed you." He replied, "I'm alright, I've been good. How are you? How was your flight?"

"Boring." Nijimura replied with a chuckle. He had caught Haizaki's eye as he spoke to Akashi and turned to face him. "Haizaki?" he asked, his mouth dropping open in shock as he noticed his least favourite team player had grown up in his absence. "Is that you?" He asked. His tone of voice was full of disbelief and recognition, and he seemed confused as to how Haizaki could have turned into someone so devilish.

"Damn right, captain rainbow." Haizaki replied, giving Nijimura a saucy smirk.

Without any warning, Nijimura pulled back a tight fist and slammed it into the side of Haizaki's head. At the last minute, as his knuckles made contact with Haizaki's temple, he restrained himself – something Nijimura hated to do – so that his punch wouldn't knock Haizaki out cold, but still shake him up a bit. "For old time's sake." he explained, then reached out and wrapped his arms around Haizaki too, pulling him into a tight hug. "I missed you, you pain in my ass!"

Haizaki couldn't help but smile as Nijimura struck him, and he waited a moment, hesitating, before he wrapped his arms around Nijimura in return after the black haired man hugged him first. He blushed, meeting Akashi's eyes over Nijimura's shoulder as he embraced the older man as well, then stepped back and looked him up and down, sizing him up and checking him out. "I guess I missed you too, captain." he replied.

Nijimura grinned proudly. "I wouldn't have guessed." He replied, "I have to admit, I am shocked to see you here."

Haizaki rolled his eyes, toeing the carpet . "Like I'd miss this." he replied shyly.

"I like what you did to your hair. Your head looks like a basketball now." Nijimura continued, reaching out and placing a hand on Haizaki's head, laughing. He smiled warmly at him afterwards and his eyes sparkled with the knowledge that he was only joking. "No, in all honesty, I think those braids look really good on you."

Haizaki's cheeks turned pink again and he looked down, surprising Akashi with his smile of pride. "Yeah, well, they better look good on me, or else." he mumbled.

Nijimura laughed.

"We got you a little something to welcome you home." Akashi rushed in to save Haizaki from Nijimura's embarrassment. He held out the gift bag to him, and Nijimura took it from him with a soft smile.

"You guys didn't have to, that's really sweet of you." He replied, but he was grinning in appreciation and excitement as he began to reach into the gift bag. He laughed as he pulled out the table tennis paddle, and he looked to Haizaki first, and then to Akashi. "Wow, guys! This is great!" He exclaimed, "It's like I'm a superhero every time I hit the ball!" He laughed, an oddly relaxed sound from the usually highly-stressed man, and then began to read the various ping pong balls through the clear plastic bag they came in. He laughed, then hugged them both again. "How about we break open the chocolate and head home now?" He asked, "I'm so tired from being in airports and flying right now. Walking quite a distance sounds like a great idea!"

"Is the jet leg kicking in already?" Akashi asked.

Haizaki grabbed Nijimura's suitcase handle and began to drag it behind himself as the three of them began to head toward the airport doors. Nijimura began to break up a chocolate bar into pieces, before unwrapping it and letting Akashi and Haizaki each take some.

"Not exactly, but the fatigue is unbelievable." Nijimura replied. "And the restlessness!"

"How was America?" Haizaki asked him, trying not to sound like he was forcing a conversation but also wanting to speak to Nijimura as well.

"It's great! Honestly, it's...it's a lot." Nijimura laughed, "It's fun and exciting, and it's different, really different! But I mean, its had its fair share of things I dislike too. So it's been interesting, to say the least. I really started to like the music there! I don't know if you'd like it, but I have some on my phone we can listen to."

Nijimura pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, scrolled through his various music, and then began to play the latest hip hop song topping the music charts in America at the moment. Haizaki smirked, nodding along to the beat, and Akashi tried to pick on the English spoken words, but some were spoken too fast for him. They listened to the music, discussing the difference in genre and styles between Japan and America and sharing chocolate as they headed back to Akashi's house to relax together.

 

* * *

 

Wednesday morning was busy in the Kise household. Ryota's sister, Rina, was following Atsushi around as he got cleaned up, and Fuji was taking every opportunity he could to talk to Ryota. Ryota was trying to compete with Rina to keep up with Atsushi, making sure his temper was in check and that his depression was at bay. And yet Ryota was sure he was forgetting everything he possibly could forget all morning. He had forgotten his wallet in his bedside table upstairs, then he forgot his coat. Afterwards he forgot to put the milk back into the fridge, and before leaving he forgot his phone on the kitchen counter in his attempt to follow the Murasakibara's out the front door at quarter after ten, already late since they had spent so much time eating. The entire opportunity made Ryota sympathize with Akashi; over the years he had somehow managed to get all the miracles – and the rest of the first string of Teiko regulars – up and ready to leave to and from training camps, and somehow the redhead had made it look so easy. Ryota was only dealing with two Murasakibara's and Rina fangirling all over the place, and it was already a disaster. He raced back inside to retrieve his phone, thankful he remembered it at the last minute, and then had to chase Atsushi and his elder brother down the street to catch up with them.

Still, despite remembering his phone and going back to get it, Kise felt as though something was horribly wrong. He ran over the list of things in his mind that he knew were important but he knew that hadn't forgotten any of them. Still, he double and triple checked mentally to make sure they had everything they needed. And yet he still found himself feeling incredibly uneasy.

He decided it was most likely from hearing from Haizaki again that had gotten him so worked up. Prior to Haizaki's phone call last night, he was concerned for his friends but not needlessly worried sick about them. And even in his sleep he had no relief from the silver-haired man's haunting voice, which Kise took to be the biggest sign that the disturbance he felt was from Haizaki. It didn't entirely phase him that Haizaki had called him when he wanted to contact Aomine, so he wasn't sure why the conversation had bothered him so much. As Kise followed the purple-haired brothers through the streets towards the train station, he replayed the conversation once more in his mind. There was something Haizaki must've said to him that subconsciously startled him, he just wasn't sure _what._

"Yo, Ryooota." Haizaki had greeted him with the usual drawl he attached to his name. Kise hated it, he always felt it was because Haizaki was high on something – or at least attempting to appear that way – that he would speak like that to him.

After a short amount of mindless banter in which the pair realized fully who they were talking to, Kise had found himself confiding in Haizaki over Murasakibara. Going over this in his mind, he still felt relatively unbothered about the conversation, regardless of the whole comparison. What he had said was rather honest and based on blunt fact, so he knew he wasn't upset that he had told Haizaki any of it. Despite the taunting Haizaki had tried to throw at him, he wasn't scared of the man's humourous threats of on-the-court victory, so the entire conversation regarding Murasakibara seemed rather innocent, and oddly enough, relieving.

Rather, he found it was the end of their conversation that had left him with a sour taste in his mouth.

"Annnyways," He had stated, dragging out the English word as a means to make it obvious that the silence was uncomfortable and he wanted to move on, "Why did you call me?" He had asked Haizaki.

Haizaki had laughed and then promptly asked Kise for Aomine's cell phone number. This was when the uneasy feeling began to return.

"No, I just want to order a pizza." Haizaki had teased him, joking when Kise asked why he wanted the number. "Baaaka. No, 'cause I saw him the other day and promised to call but I lost his number."

Despite feeling skeptical about Haizaki's reason when he was on the phone with him, Kise gave him Aomine's number, not questioning it. Sometimes Aomine and Haizaki would hang out, so he supposed this was one of those times Haizaki wanted to talk to Aomine about big-breasted women or the latest street-approved shoes. Looking back on it in hindsight, Kise wished he had pushed Haizaki for more information rather than the innocent, 'What happened to your phone, Haizaki?'

This question had taken them away from the uneasy feeling, so Kise had supposed that it was underlying concern for Haizaki that had made him feel disturbed by the phone call. While he didn't care if the man was in a fight or not, he still wouldn't wish him to be brutally injured or killed because of the image he was fronting or the people his brother was associating with. Knowing that he had gotten into a fight with his older brother's rivals made him feel less likely that Haizaki had started something he couldn't handle.

"Wait," the blonde had realized the error in Haizaki's story and called him out on it. "If you broke your old phone, how do you still have _my_ number?"

Haizaki had chuckled. "I have it in the Teiko yearbook. Your's and a few of the other guys. Atsushi's, which I never tried. And Akashi's and Daiki's old numbers."

Those were his exact words. And at this point, walking alongside the Murasakibara brothers towards the train station, Kise felt as if he were punched in the gut by these words. And now he could realize why. At the time he had replied with a casual, "Oh. Right," merely accepting Haizaki's reasoning as it was given to him. But as he reflected back on those exact words, he realized what unsettled him.

_"Atsushi's, which I never tried. And Akashi's and Daiki's old numbers."_

_"And Akashi's and Daiki's old numbers."_

Haizaki admitted to not calling Murasakibara's number, but he had confessed in that moment to having tried to contact not only Aomine's old number, but Akashi's as well. His call to Akashi just hadn't gone through.

Kise felt himself shiver. Haizaki and Akashi hadn't gotten along much. In fact, when Akashi became captain, Haizaki had left the team, leaving his position of small forward open for Akashi to fill with Kise. It was out of Haizaki's nature to call Kise, let alone reach out to talk to Akashi. And – in this case – he had tried to contact Akashi before he had tried to contact Kise, or even Murasakibara. If he was really interested in Aomine's number, he would have called every other person possible before he would reach out to Akashi Seijuro.

Unless, he needed to speak to Akashi in regards to something that they had in common.

"Well, thanks Ryooota. You're not so much of a baaaka, I guess." Haizaki's words taunted him in his mind, reassuring him that he had discovered the reason for his uneasiness.

Rushing to keep up with the brothers, Kise pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through his contacts until he found Aomine's number. He didn't speak to him as much as he used to, so he had removed him from his speed dial, which slowed him down now. He impatiently waited for the call to be answered as the three of them were held by the pedestrian stop light at the corner of the street, not knowing what he would do if Aomine were to ignore the call or simply sleep through it. He was panicking as the call went to voicemail, Aomine's tired voice explaining he would call him back whenever he got the message.

Kise looked up at the street light, then back at his phone. They were close to the train station now, and he was racing the clock to find out from Aomine what it was Haizaki wanted from him. If he was lucky, Aomine would answer and be able to help put his mind to ease by informing him Haizaki had indeed wanted to talk about women or food or the latest NBA trend in America rather than something important and clandestine that had to do with Akashi.

He went to hit redial, contemplating calling Aomine's oldest friend Momoi if he failed to answer again, when Aomine's face lit up his screen. The bluenette was attempting to call him back.

Kise answered as quickly as he could, fumbling with his phone as his heart skipped a beat. The pedestrian light changed to walk and he hurried to follow behind the two purple giants as he answered the call.

"Aominicchi." He greeted him.

"That's my name-"

"Don't wear it out, yeah, yeah. I heard. Listen, I need to ask you something really important."

Aomine seemed taken aback by the briskness Kise displayed on the phone. "Is everything alright, Kise?" He asked, "You seem…really overwhelmed."

"Look, I don't have time to explain." Kise pushed, silencing Aomine. He bumped into a business man and turned to wave an apology, huffing into the phone as he sprinted suddenly to catch up to Atsushi and Fuji. "Haizaki called you last night, he called me before to get your number. What did he want?"

"'Zacky?" Aomine replied, his voice a drawl. Kise knew from the tone that Aomine was still in bed, having skipped morning classes to sleep in. That was probably why he missed his call. He realized he must've woken Aomine up. "He called me to ask about Shuzo."

"Eh?!" Kise gasped, "Nijimura-sempai?!"

"Yeah. He wanted to know if I knew what day he was coming into town. I said I didn't know so I gave him Akashi's new number. Told him that if anyone would know when exactly Shuzo was coming for a visit, it would be him. Listen, Kise-"

"Th-Thank you so much, Aominiichi!" Kise rushed to cut him off, "I'll call you back later, but I really have to go now! Bye!"

He disconnected the call even though Aomine had begun to babble into the phone, calling Kise's name and asking him what was going on. He scrolled through the list of recent calls he had received and selected Haizaki's number, calling him as soon as he hung up on Aomine. The Murasakibara brothers and himself were entering the train station now, heading to the lineup to pay for their train tickets.

"Pick up, pick up." Kise murmured impatiently.

He was convinced it was going to go to voice mail, but at the last minute Haizaki picked up. "Ryooota," he greeted him, "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you got a hold of Aominicchi?" He replied, his voice sounding breathless and urgent.

Unseen by Kise, Haizaki's eyebrows lifted and he seemed taken aback. "Ye-yeah, last night. Look, Ryota, I appreciate your concern but I shouldn't talk on the phone right now, I don't want to be rude to Akashi."

"Eh?!" Kise gasped, reaching out to tap Atsushi's shoulder and get his attention as he was handing Fuji money to pay for his train ticket. "You're with Akashicchi?!"

Fuji turned to face Kise at that moment, their mouths hanging open in shock. He weren't sure who Kise was talking to on the phone, only that he had managed to locate the redhead they were in search of.

"Yeah, we're at the airport right now." Haizaki replied, as if this was obvious. "I don't want to make him wait alone."

"The airport?!" Kise repeated.

"Yeah, Nijimura-sempai's plane is coming in soon, so I'm gonna let you go now. I'll call you later, Ryooota. Thanks for everything."

The line disconnected and Kise was left staring at Fuji for a moment, completely astounded by what he had just heard. He turned to face Atsushi, only to find he was no longer beside Fuji.

"Murasakicchi!" He gasped, looking around immediately. He didn't want Atsushi to have run off somewhere in some desperate attempt to locate Akashi.

But Atsushi hadn't gone far. He was several feet away, head lowered, hair in his face, speaking to a black-haired boy. The boy seemed to be saying something rather aggressively to Murasakibara, and as Fuji and Kise approached they could hear him.

"He's already changed you so much! Don't you see that this isn't who you are?!"

"And how would you know that?" Atsushi snarled, leaning down and sneering at the man. "How do you know who I am? You weren't here! You didn't know me before we met at Yosen!"

"Your family is worried about you! Your parents told me that when they told me you ran off to visit a friend in Tokyo! I'm not stupid, I know you came here to see Akashi!"

"He came here to see me." Kise broke in, noticing how angry Atsushi was getting. "I'm Kise Ryota, I'm Murasakicchi's friend from-"

"I know who you are!" the beautiful boy sneered at Kise, eyeing him up and down as if he were a threat. "I know where you met."

"Don't be rude to Ki-chin!" Atsushi growled at the boy. "Don't mind Himuro, Ki-chin. He decided to stalk me down here after Aiko told him I came down to Tokyo for a bit."

"We don't have time for this!" Fuji exclaimed, easily stepping between Himuro and Atsushi and pushing them apart with his large frame. "Atsushi, we need to leave, now."

Himuro glared up at Fuji and took a step towards him, "I need to talk to-"

"Shut up!" Fuji shouted at Himuro, gaining several glances from people passing by to catch their trains. He turned his attention to his younger brother, "Akashi is at the airport, with Haizaki. Nijimura is-"

Atsushi's eyes widened and the look on his face expressed the urgency he suddenly felt to rush to the airport. He stepped around his elder brother, grabbed Kise's hand, and began to run out of the train station and towards the airport.


	10. The Beast In Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

**Chapter 10 - The Beast In Me:**

Wednesday, October 19th - Late Morning (11:30 am)

It was late morning when the doorbell at the Kise family residence rang out loudly throughout the house. Ryota's sister Rina had left to go to the agency to speak with her manager about a long-term contract offered to her for a herbal skincare company shortly after her younger brother and his friends left, leaving Ryota and Rina's mother, Satomi, at home alone. She had been busy with housework, cleaning up the kitchen and preparing a late lunch for herself and Rina to enjoy when she returned home, when the doorbell tore her from her thoughts. Drying her hands on her apron, Satomi headed down the hallway and into the front entrance, before opening the front door wide.

"Oh, Kasamatsu," She greeted the young man, recognizing him immediately. "What a surprise to see you here. You're a long way from Kanagawa, aren't you?"

"I apologize to just drop in so suddenly, Kise-san." Kasamatsu replied and bowed respectfully. He didn't appear to want to come inside. "I had no other choice but to come by because I haven't seen or heard from Ryota in a few days. I was wondering if he got sick perhaps? I tried to go by his dormitory, but I was informed by the dormitory security that he was going to Tokyo for a few days. Something of an emergency?"

Satomi laughed behind her hand. "No, no. Ryota is fine." She replied, "He's out with his friends from middle school. Apparently they had a bit of a misunderstanding, so it is something he had to come out and patch up."

"Oh." Kasamatsu's eyes widened and he nodded. "I see. His phone has been busy all morning so I couldn't get through and he hasn't texted me back, so I was worried about him since he wasn't attending any team practices. I thought I would catch him going to class yesterday, but he never showed up for class even. So I took the train over."

"That's odd." Satomi replied, then gave him an amused look. She didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that her son was ditching school. "He told me he was walking the Murasakibara brothers to the train station, and that he would come back home immediately afterwards to get his stuff and head back to school. Perhaps he's delayed at the train station? Or perhaps he went with them to Akita again? That boy of mine." She shook her head, almost laughing.

"Akita?"

"Boys will be boys." Satomi smiled at Kasamatsu. "I'm sure whatever is the trouble between all of them, they will figure it out eventually."

"Yes, I hope so as well." Kasamatsu replied, the desperation in his voice becoming obvious. "Would you be able to tell him-"

"I'm sure he'll answer you if you keep trying." She told Kasamatsu. "If not, I'll let him know you were looking for him the next time I see him." She tilted her head to the side and smiled, as if none of this were a serious matter at all. Clearly she didn't want to invite him inside to wait for her son, seeing as she herself had no idea what it was Ryota was up to, and she had no other suggestions for Kasamatsu on contacting Ryota.

Kasamatsu realized that he wouldn't get any more information or help from her, so he nodded and bowed once more. He decided that if he was going to find his missing forward, he would just have to take her word for his last known whereabouts and track him down himself. "Thank you, Kise-san." he replied, then bowed once more. "I'll take my leave then. Good day."

 

* * *

 

Fuji had managed to catch up to Atsushi and step in his path, stopping him in his tracks. He freed Kise's arm from Atsushi's grasp, informing Atsushi that he would hurt the smaller man if he wasn't careful, and put a hand on his younger brother's shoulder to hold him in place.

"We can't run from the train to the airport, Atsushi." he calmly told him, trying to keep him rational. "But we can take the bus if you can control yourself. It will be faster."

Atsushi nodded, understanding Fuji was only trying to help him. Keeping tight hold on his skateboard in his left hand, he pushed his right hand deep into his pocket and followed Kise, who led them to the bus stop. Fuji stayed back to protect his younger brother from Himuro, who despite being obviously unwanted by their small group, followed them like a stray dog.

The wait for the bus was excruciating, but it was also shorter than it felt. The bus ride in comparison felt much longer. It was only after the first sight of the airport appeared that Atsushi felt a lot better. It was the last place Akashi had reportedly been, and he was eager to see if he could find him nearby.

"If he's with Haizaki waiting for Nijimura-sempai, then he'd most likely be at the international arrivals terminal." Kise reasoned, "So we'd need to head there right away."

Himuro attempted to take Atsushi's hand as they rode the bus, but Fuji was quick to push his hands away from his brother each time the beautiful boy would reach out for him. It was obvious that Himuro knew that if Atsushi didn't want to go back with him willingly, he could continue to make any attempt to provoke Atsushi into becoming aggressive, forcing the violet-haired young man to get into trouble again. If provoked, Atsushi would no doubt be escorted back to Akita in the back of a police car – again. Aware of this, Fuji stayed between them and tried his hardest to ensure that little to no taunting from Himuro would reach his younger brother.

Kise also seemed aware of this, since he met eyes with Fuji and constantly tried to dominate Atsushi's attention the entire bus ride. He spoke in low voices with him, distracting him by looking up the best path to the international arrivals terminal online.

The bus emptied out at the airport, making it hard for their group to stay together and head to the airport as fast as they could. After struggling to get around bus patrons that were slow moving or concerned with their phones, they all began to rush towards the airport, running until the security guards were too close and would deem them too suspicious to enter.

They spent a moment reading the signs high above them, before following the arrows and finding their way to the international arrivals terminal. Atsushi stretched up on his tip toes, trying to become as tall as his eldest brother to see over the heads over everyone around them, which Kise laughed at - both the Murasakibara's were tall enough to see over everyone without standing up any taller. Still, it was a sweet gesture since it displayed his desperation to find Akashi. To Atsushi's disappointment there was no vivid crimson hair to be seen.

"There, he's there!" Fuji exclaimed suddenly, pointing towards the exit on the opposite side of the terminal.

Just visible to the two tall Murasakibaras, Akashi's bright red hair was visible, walking in between Haizaki Shogo and Nijimura Shuzo. The dark haired man appeared to be on the phone and they all appeared to be deep in conversation, leaving the airport and heading towards the exit that would take them away from the bus loop. Atsushi growled and began to head after them, leading the way for his own group to approach Akashi's.

"Aka-chin!" He called out when he was close enough. "Aka-chin, wait!"

Akashi and the other two men halted, turning to face Atsushi. They all seemed surprised to see the large group of boys that were at the airport as well. Upon recognizing his old teammates, Nijimura's face broke out into a grin.

Aware of Atsushi's larger build and recently aggressive behaviour, Haizaki pushed Akashi behind himself. Since the larger man was calling him out, he immediately feared for Akashi's safety, recalling the way the larger, older men his brother had pissed off called out to him in a similar fashion last week. He licked his thumb and surveyed the group with his eyes; Ryota was with them, which surprised him, and he wasn't entirely sure what this all was about. He realized that Ryota must have let them know where they were since his phone call to Haizaki, piecing together that Ryota and the Mursasakibara's were looking for Akashi for a while now.

Akashi didn't protest when Haizaki shielded him, not entirely sure what was going on. It bothered him; he wasn't used to being so openly challenged by those that knew him, let alone so suddenly. He peeked out from behind Haizaki to observe the newcomers, confused and apprehensive when he noted that one of the men – the biggest one – was not Atsushi. He didn't want Haizaki hurt in the crossfire of their conversation, so he reached out to tug at his arm, pulling lightly at the cuff of the silver-haired man's sleeve.

Nijimura touched his phone and the sudden heavy beats and quick English words stopped. He was distracted by his phone, attempting to turn off the distracting music, so he didn't notice the young man that approached him.

"You! What are _you_ doing here?" Himuro stepped forwards, pointing out Shuzo, side by side with Haizaki.

Bothered by the sudden confrontation, Nijimura stepped forwards and shielded Haizaki behind himself, making their small group a single file line and raising suspicion about their small gathering.

"Himuro," Nijimura greeted him, his voice an even tone and meant to be polite. He seemed more bothered by Himuro's presence than that of the other three young men. "It's good to see you again as well."

"Aka-chin." Atsushi made to step forwards, going around Himuro and Nijimura and attempting to speak directly to the redhead.

Unsure of why he didn't trust Atsushi in the moment, Haizaki grabbed Akashi's hand and stepped back, pushing the smaller man back with him and keeping a defensive stance towards Atsushi. "Hold up," he stated, holding his free hand up, his palm facing outwards. He recalled Kise's words of warning, that Atsushi had become quite violent recently, and he didn't want the smaller man to be made a target by some abstract comment that might be said.

Haizaki's actions triggered the memory of a conversation Atsushi had just shared with Kise in their hotel room in Kyoto:

_'It's why he likes you. You're dangerous._ Just like Haizaki. _It's the same profile: dangerous, rowdy, the kind of guy not afraid to throw a few punches. The kind of guy that Aka-chin likes.'_

The memory turned Atsushi's vision red. His hands began to shake and he wanted nothing more than to tear Haizaki away from Akashi, even if that meant tearing him away limb by limb. He growled lowly, a threatening sound, and bladed his stance so he was ready to lunge at him. He hadn't come all this way, hadn't fought all these people, just to be find out Akashi had moved on with lesser-than-miracle, delinquent Haizaki Shogo. No. It wasn't fair. He wouldn't let it happen. His mind shut down, his breathing increased, and he pulled his arm back, his hand formed in a tight fist. He wasn't aware that he had taken aim, wasn't even aware that he had lunged forwards; all he was aware of was the fact that Haizaki stood between him and Akashi, and he had to correct that.

He could see Haizaki's wide eyes, his mouth hanging open in shock, and his left arm – his free arm – raised to defend his face. But Atsushi was stopped in motion for a fraction of a second, long enough for everyone to hold their breaths, and then his arm was pushed upwards so he couldn't cause harm to anyone.

Standing in front of Haizaki, his lips pressed in a hard frown, was Nijimura. His feet were wider than hips distance apart, his legs bent at the knee. He was shorter than usual because he had bent his legs, but his torso was straight and his arm felt like iron as he quickly raised it up above his head and then outwards to his left in a deflective block. He didn't appear to breath any differently the entire time, but he was calm and focused, his eyes dark and dull, indicating he was moving by memory. He breathed evenly for a moment, intently watching Atsushi for any signs of retaliation.

Fuji seized the moment and sprang forwards, coming to wrap both his powerful arms around his younger brother from behind and held him in his iron grip, despite the smaller man's struggle. "Don't be stupid. There are officers everywhere." He whispered harshly into Atsushi's ear, knowing the message would work faster than him attempting to reasonably calm him down.

Atsushi hesitated, the reminder of where they were and how they acted stopping him in his tracks. He was breathing heavily but stopped struggling to break free, his hands instead grabbing and holding tightly onto his eldest brother's arm, as if he acknowledged the help given to him, as if he surrendered to it, needed it. He nodded, indicating he had heard him, that he was trying to restrain himself. Fuji listened, keeping his arms around his younger brother, he didn't ease up.

"I expected all of you to grow up in my absence, but I did not expect to return to you all behaving like _this_." Nijimura scolded them, stepping out of his fight stance and frowning at each face in the crowd. "What the hell happened to you all while I was away, huh? You're acting like a bunch of animals!"

Kise stepped forwards, feeling responsible to speak on behalf of all of them. He was also the one person here that Nijimura hadn't known for very long, so he hoped by being a reasonable person and explaining everything to him that Nijimura wouldn't consider him a bad influence.

"It's a big misunderstanding, Nijimura-sempai. Honestly-"

Nijimura held up a hand and sighed softly. "I appreciate you trying to explain this all to me, Kise; it is Kise, isn't it?" He smiled at the blonde, watching him nod once. "But this is not the place for this conversation." he continued, "Let's go. We need to be somewhere we won't attract an armed audience." he nodded towards the security guards, then turned and began to lead them all out of the airport.

Silently, the group of young men followed Nijimura down the street in pairs: Akashi and Haizaki, Atsushi and Fuji, Kise and Himuro. They stopped at a local bus stop, got on, and rode deeper into the heart of Tokyo in silence. Fuji didn't release his grip on Atsushi's arm, Akashi and Haizaki were still holding hands, and Kise was keeping a wary eye on Himuro, attempting to keep him from getting too close to any of the other boys for too long. Nijimura was gazing at each of them in turn, observing their grown bodies and trying to understand their new attitudes. When the bus finally stopped at a familiar station, the boys all got off and Nijimura led them towards what was a familiar sight to all of them. It was a large park, not that far from Teiko Middle School, where they would usually run to during weekend practices. There was a large tree that grew inside a large concrete square, and they used to use the large limbs that extended outwards to hold their jackets, towels, and bags as they stretch in the field and caught their breath from their run.

"Alright." Nijimura motioned to all of them, "Spread out, get some space. I don't want any fighting. You, Kise, tell me what happened." He leaned against the bricks that formed the short wall around the tree and sighed, his arms remaining at his sides and ready to defuse any physical conflict that might come up again.

"As I said, Nijimura-sempai, it was all a big misunderstanding. Murasakicchi saw Akashicchi last week in Akita, but they had a miscommunication of sorts. Akashicchi left the district before they could talk it out so Murasakicchi and me came to Tokyo to meet up and then go find Akashicchi in Kyoto. But when we arrived Akashicchi wasn't there, so we returned to find-" Kise turned to face Fuji, unsure of how to address him since they were neither close or well acquainted enough for Kise to decide to bestow his respected title to. "Murasakibara-sempai-Fuji-san waiting for us." he decided to go with, attempting to be as clear as possible with his titles. Since there was two Murasakibara's, it was harder for him to keep track of them, so he added the man's first name and gave him a sympathetic look, hoping the elder wouldn't disapprove of him using it.

"And then Haizaki called me last night, asking if I had Aominecchi phone number, so I called Aominecchi this morning and he told me that you were returning. When I called Haizaki shortly afterwards, he said he was meeting Akashicchi to go to the airport, so I knew it was to meet you. Since we were looking for Akashicchi, we headed there too, but Himuro met us halfway and he followed us, trying to talk Murasakicchi out of pursuing Akashicchi."

Kise was out of breath as he finished, having spoken very quickly in hopes to resolve any miscommunication before anyone could become angry enough to start throwing punches again.

Nijimura nodded and looked around at everyone. "That's a fair summary, you all agree?" He asked.

"No." Himuro scowled, "The blonde left out the small fact that Murasakibara is my boyfriend and we argued because he was trying to hook up with Akashi in Akita."

Atsushi growled threateningly, his hands forming fists at his sides. "If you keep insisting that utter _bullshit_ , Himuro-" He began, taking a step towards the black haired man.

Fuji wrapped his arms around his younger brother from behind, holding him back from becoming aggressive again. He struggled as Atsushi fought to shake him off. Himuro's words worsened the situation for him in clearing things up with Akashi and became a major trigger for the younger Murasakibara.

Akashi had been listening intently to every words that was being said. His eyes were narrowed as he scrutinized every fact presented to him, and he found his chest feeling an odd, foreign warmth. If Atsushi had really travelled all the way from Akita to Kyoto to see him, meaning he abandoned his family, school, and team just to talk to him about what happened, then he really prioritized him. And if he were to do that, if would fight that hard to simply _talk_ to him, maybe he really was happy with him? Maybe, and Akashi felt a wave of excitement run through him at the thought, maybe Atsushi had been happy with their relationship this entire time, and was willing to change and adapt some of the things that Akashi himself had wanted? Maybe that was the reason he had developed this newer, disobedient attitude? He wasn't sure if it was the case, but it certainly was an entertaining thought. And he had to admit to himself that the fact that Atsushi had followed him all over the country was admirable and flattering in itself.

"What a fucking clusterfuck." Nijimura chuckled. "I return and shit hits the fan, eh? Well, what can I expect when I return when you all hit puberty." He snickered, then rolled his eyes at his own joke.

"Maybe that means you shouldn't have come." Himuro stated, his voice twisting with his sneer.

"Shut your face. From the collection around you, you seem to be the one not wanted here." Nijimura shot back at Himuro. He straightened up, standing up and stepping away from the tree.

"You always were one for popularity, Nijimura. Just like how you wanted to date me when we first met because you wanted in on the American basketball scene. To think I fell for your constant compliments about my beauty." Himuro rolled his own bright eyes and glared at Nijimura.

"So I made a pass at you in America? Big deal, Himuro. I didn't know you were such a bitch when I did."

"Excuse me?!" Haizaki stepped forwards, his chest rising and falling heavily as his breathing increased. His eyes were narrowed and his lips were twisted in an open mouthed expression of disbelief, but his right hand was still in Akashi's. "What about _me_?! Did you plan to tell _me_ you moved on or did you just need a connection everywhere?!"

The Miracles and Fuji looked at each other, their eyes all wide with disbelief, the sinking feeling of their stomachs all dropping to the ground a mutual one. None of them were aware that Haizaki and Nijimura had dated at any given point in their time at Teiko, let alone having been dating for so long. Akashi and Kise were suddenly aware of the reason why Haizaki had been so interested in Nijimura's return. It was also probably why despite the fact that Nijimura would brutally beat up Haizaki at times, the younger man would still smile and break all the rules; the hitting and bruises were a fetish to the two young men.

Nijimura took a step forwards, meaning to close the distance between himself and Haizaki. "It's not like that, Shogo." he began, his voice falling to a quiet murmur.

"Then what's it like?" The silver-haired young man could barely speak. It was clear he was having difficulty taking in all this new information. "That's why you didn't tell _me_ you were coming home." He moaned, "That's why I had to find out from my brother's friends. My god, Shuzo." He wiped his face with his left hand and looked away. "You're a fucking _bastard_."

Haizaki turned and began to walk away, not wanting to cry in front of his peers.

"Shogo, wait!" Nijimura called, reaching out to grab his right wrist. "Shogo!"

Haizaki pulled his arm away, feeling his skin burn where Nijimura had tried to tighten his hold as the younger man twisted his arm to break free. This time it was Akashi that rushed to Haizaki's defence, stepping between him and their former captain. He didn't say anything to Nijimura, only gave him a look of disgust, before he turned his attention to Haizaki.

The rough looking young man was ashamed and amazed that Akashi – of all the people present there – had come to his defence. He squeezed his eyes shut tight for a moment and his lips became a wavered line. And then he began sprinting away. In the blink of an eye he had charged away from them and was heading towards the opposite end of the park, rushing off in any direction that would take him away from Nijimura. And without a second thought, Akashi had gone after him. Despite being shorter than him, he easily kept up to Haizaki, following him to make sure he was alright.

"Wait!" Kise called out to them, beginning to run after them. After having just found Akashi again, after finally being able to empathize with Haizaki, he wasn't about to just let them run away again. "Wait up!" He called, chasing after them.

Atsushi watch his best friend, crush, and old teammate run away as fast as they could. After three days of chasing Akashi from Akita down to Kyoto and then back up to Tokyo, and finally having caught up to him, he was standing here watching him run away from him in favour of helping heal another man's broken heart. Exhausted, frustrated, and angry that other people's problems had gotten in the way of his own mission, Atsushi shook Fuji off himself and stepped away from him.

"For fuck's sake!" He shouted, screaming loudly to vent his frustration, but it didn't make him feel any better. He stepped forwards, his hand already in a fist, and slammed it into the thick tree trunk. To his surprise, a loud crack was heard nanoseconds before blood spurted out from his hand and stained the tree trunk where he had hit it. Pain resonated upwards from his hand like an electric charge, up his arm, and made his body feel on fire. He began to swear loudly, shaking his hand and spraying droplets of blood everywhere, tears forming in his eyes. He hissed, attempting to uncurl his long fingers from the loose fist he was still making, but his fingers didn't respond. His hand refused to function under his conscious control, unable to feel any more pain as it already felt like it was on fire. Atsushi hissed and whimpered, his curses ceasing immediately as his lilac eyes widened in horror as he observed the white of his bones sticking out from the knuckles of his right hand.

 


	11. Your Darkness Has A Shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

**Chapter 11 - Your Darkness Has A Shadow:**

Wednesday, October 19th - Noon

 

Fuji and Nijimura came rushing over immediately, breaking out of the shock states they seemed to have fallen into. Fuji wrapped his arms around his younger brother, trying to restrain him from suddenly reacting violently about the pain while Nijimura held his arm still so they could survey the damage. He hissed as he saw the bones of Atsushi's knuckles pushed through his skin, and he quickly pulled out a clean shirt from his backpack to cover Atsushi's hand with.

"We need to get you to the hospital!" he exclaimed, speaking directly to Atsushi and attempting to keep the large man from reacting violently as he tried to make a sling with another shirt.

Atsushi grit his teeth and hissed, his body shaking all over as he registered the amount of pain he was in.

Fuji held him still and nodded at Nijimura. "You get your things," he informed the former Teiko captain, "I'll keep a hold on Atsushi so he's supported."

"Aka-chin." Atsushi mumbled, groaning from the pain.

"We need to stop the bleeding and get your bones back inside your flesh before we find Aka-chin." Fuji murmured, "Please, Atsushi, calm yourself. This is important. You can infect easily out here."

"It. Hurts!" Atsushi groaned, speaking through gritted teeth.

Nijimura quickly gathered his things, slipping his backpack around the extendable handle of his suitcase, then slipped an arm around Atsushi's waist and nodded at Fuji. He kept a hold on Atsushi, his other hand dragging his suitcase alongside them. "Alright, let's go."

"Why don't we just call him an ambulance?" Himuro asked, following them still.

"Go away, you're not wanted here." Nijimura groaned, "Can't you see how much trouble you already got us into?"

"We can't call the ambulance." Fuji replied, speaking matter-of-factly. "Because they'll inform the police that there was violence occurring and Atsushi will be arrested."

Nijimura groaned, "Seriously?! This is ridiculous."

"This is the mess that Himuro made." Atsushi replied, his words stressed as his breathing was laboured.

"It's alright." Fuji shifted the conversation along, "The hospital isn't too far from here. We should be able to make it in a few minutes if we walk fast enough."

"It hurts." Atsushi moaned again, whimpering as they walked.

As the group of young men made their way towards the hospital, groups of adults would step around them, some looking at them in concern, others in fear. While most assumed that they had gotten injured in a gang fight, one lady was kind enough to inquire if it was a sports injury. She wanted to call them an ambulance, but Nijimura kindly rejected the offer, telling her they wouldn't have money to pay for the emergency service.

They continued on their way, waiting to catch the bus, and then riding it the eleven stops, until they were close enough to the hospital to walk there on foot. They spent the bus ride trying to predict the questions the doctors would ask them and how to best answer them; they had to be as honest as possible when it came to how the injury was obtained in order to make sure Atsushi was properly cared for, but they also had to be careful not to say Atsushi had punched the tree out of anger or else the doctors might alert the police to the violence. They decided to say they were discussing sports and he hadn't meant to punch the tree, simply they were practicing some kind of martial arts when the injury took place. It was believable since Nijimura was a black belt two times over and they were all long time friends and sports enthusiasts. They could see the hospital in their sight when they were stopped not far from the bus stop by a dark haired young man running towards them, calling out to Atsushi.

"Murasakibara! Murasakibara, right?" he asked, coming over to them slightly out of breath. "I was walking by...and saw you on the bus." he explained, then paused to catch his breath and take a sip from his water bottle. His short black hair didn't appear to have been bothered by the fact that he had chased the bus down to speak to Murasakibara, but his clothing was disheveled. "Where is...Kise?" He asked him.

"Ki-chin?" Atsushi responded, "Why are you looking for him?"

"You're Kasamatsu, aren't you?" Fuji asked.

The black haired man looked surprised, as did Atsushi. "You know him, Fu-chin?" Atsushi asked.

Fuji chuckled, "I've seen him in photos with Kise in the paper; he goes to Kaijo with him, don't you?"

"Yeah." Kasamatsu replied, "I'm his team captain. I've come to talk to him about skipping practice."

Atsushi rolled his eyes. "I know he goes to Kaijo, I've seen him play." he mumbled to his eldest brother, trying to not appear like he was being treated like a child in front of his peers. "Look, Kasamatsu," He turned his attention to the shorter man, "I have no idea where Ki-chin is. He went running off after Aka-chin and Zaki-chin before I started to bleed." he tried to motion to his hand wrapped up Nijimura's shirts. "I wanted to go after them-"

"What?! Are you crazy?!" Kasamatsu replied. "Murasakibara, you're hand! It's covered in blood!"

"We're on our way to the hospital." Nijimura informed him, "So if you'd excuse us-"

"I'll come with you!" Kasamatsu replied, shifting his backpack on his shoulders. "If you don't mind. And after we fix Murasakibara's hand, maybe I can help you find Akashi and you can help me find Kise?"

Atsushi looked at Nijimura, then at his older brother. They seemed to debate the situation and all seemingly agreed that Kasamatsu's presence wouldn't do any harm to them. Nijimura nodded and wrapped his arm around Atsushi's waist again.

"Alright, c'mon." He encouraged them, "The sooner we get to the hospital, the sooner we can find our missing boys."

 

* * *

 

"Akashicci, wait!" Kise called, trying to keep up to the redhead. The young man was fast, but it amazed him how much faster Haizaki was. He had lost sight of the silver-haired man entirely and was reduced to relying on keeping sight of Akashi to be his guide in his chase after them.

Despite his plea, Akashi ignored him and continued to press on. He ran with his chest up and his arms at solid right angles pumping at his sides, his steps deliberate, taking him forwards at a speed that seemed impossible for his short stature to achieve. He was incredibly fast and precise, his body seemingly moving effortlessly. Kise felt like he was either going to lose sight of Akashi or lose consciousness trying to keep up with him. He was a great athlete, but he was taken by surprise and forced himself to sprint after them when Haizaki had fled. His only fuel was the thought that after hunting Akashi down all over Japan for the past few days, he was determined not to lose him again.

He wasn't sure how long he had been running or where he was going. The streets seemed endless and everything began to blur. Cars honked at him, people screamed at him, he knew at some point he had raced through an intersection when he didn't have the right of way as a pedestrian, but he didn't care. He wondered vaguely if this was how Murasakibara lived his life, in this same endless state of meaninglessness and chaos. He assumed this was how the world would look if you were to rush through it on a skateboard. With his loud music pumping, Atsushi would be able to tune out all the honking and yelling, all the things that kept Kise in this moment. Without hearing anything but the relatable feelings of anger, sorrow, and loss, Atsushi would be able to fully hide inside his head and drown out reality. Kise wondered if that was how he had been all this time at Yosen, blocking out the reality that he was no longer a part of Akashi's life?

When he had began to feel as through his legs would give out on him, his knee was protesting by sending him searing flashes of pain, and his lungs felt as though someone had scrapped them out and left them hollow, raw, and internally bleeding, Akashi turned into a driveway indicating that the chase was at an end. Kise followed him, not even having the breath to murmur aloud his thought of "Oh thank god!" This had been worse than any of the runs Akashi had led them on in their time as sports team and he could recall a few of those that had made him question his ability as an athlete and Akashi's level of sanity.

Haizaki had taken a seat on the doorstep of the residential dwelling and had buried his face in his hands, slouching over so he could attempt to then hide his hands with his knees. He looked like an overgrown child dressed up as a rebellious teenager sitting on the top step in his baggy black hooded sweater and washed-out ripped jeans, but even without seeing his face Kise could feel his heartbreak was that of a much older, matured person. He felt guilty comparing the image of Haizaki so curled up on the front step to that of an innocent child, knowing full well that a child could never understand the pain that Haizaki was feeling right now.

Akashi sat down beside him and put his arms around Haizaki. And Kise was surprised to notice that Akashi himself was crying as well. He didn't make any loud moans or shoulder-shaking sobs the way Haizaki had finally broken down and was making, but there was visible tears running down Akashi's pale cheeks from his miss-matched eyes.

And while it initially surprised him, it was in that moment Kise understood why Akashi was crying. It wasn't _for_ Haizaki, it was _with_ Haizaki. He could tell from the way Akashi held Haizaki to comfort him, to empathize with him, to let him know that he wasn't alone in his pain, that Akashi wasn't simply pitying him or trying to do the decent thing. Akashi wasn't the kind of person to chase down just anyone to make sure they were feeling alright. He genuinely cared about Haizaki on a level that Kise could only compare to the way he himself felt towards Murasakibara Atsushi.

He was reminded of yesterday, holding Murasakibara's head in his lap as the taller man cried over Akashi. He recalled wiping away tears of his own as he held Murasakibara, so the taller man wouldn't see them, and then finally crying himself to sleep when in the safety of the darkness of his own room at night. Akashi and Haizaki had an undeniable connection: one that was based on a level of respect and empathy that formed the root of unshakable friendship – the same he himself shared with Murasakibara. While they had nothing on the surface that would connect them as friends, there was a love born out of a kindred soul – the very core of their being relating to each other in their moral code that made them understand each other in a way other's looking in on their relationship would never be able to understand. It simply hurt Akashi to see Haizaki hurt, the same way it hurt Kise to see Murasakibara hurt. When one cried, they both cried, and that was the way it was. There was no logic, no reasoning to explain their connection; in the simplest way, it was based on a platonic love.

Kise took his time catching his breath, not wanting to approach them gasping and heaving for air like some troll. He stayed by the gate and let them have a private moment, understanding that the closest friendships were often the most sensitive, and involved a form of communication that at times didn't even require words. After a moment, when he was sure they had shared what they needed to share, and he himself had caught his breath, he approached them. His senses felt fuller and refreshed and he saw now as he approached them that they had run the long distance all the way back to Akashi's family home and were sitting on the front landing.

"Akashicchi, Haizaki-kun, would it be alright if I join you?" He asked them.

Haizaki made no effort to acknowledge Kise, only continuing to cry into the sleeves of his hooded sweater. Akashi looked up and one corner of his lips shifted up in an attempt to smile at Kise gratefully; he understood Kise's presence and hesitation, and he was glad the blonde was being respectful – even if he didn't get along with Haizaki. He tilted his head to indicated that Kise was welcome to sit by his side, and he returned to leaning his head against Haizaki's shoulder, letting the larger man simply feel his presence and hoped it reassured him.

Kise slowly walked over to Akashi's side and turned around, then smoothed out his backside as he sat down on the porch step. He didn't stare and he said nothing, even going so far as holding his breath for a moment, and placed a hand on Akashi's knee beside him; he felt as though the physical connection – even indirectly to Haizaki – would be a welcomed display of comfort. When Akashi didn't shake it off immediately, Kise squeezed lightly, and Akashi lifted his head enough for Kise to see his crooked smile of appreciation again.

They stayed in the position, with Haizaki curled up on himself, Akashi leaning against him, and Kise holding onto Akashi and chewing on his bottom lip for longer than any of them realized. On the other side of the fence that marked the Akashi family property line, cars drove past, pedestrians continued about their day, birds flew by, and everywhere people were smiling and happy and celebrating their lives. No one seemed to realize that just on the other side of the uniform picket fence, in the tidy and well-groomed garden, on the steps on an immaculately kept family home, three young men sat together sharing an ocean of hurt and sorrow.

Kise thought of Murasakibara: this was how his home in Akita must have felt the entire time he had moved there. A whole world was just beyond his doorstep and yet not one person realized that he was stuck on the landing, practically shouting for the world to notice that something in his life was not okay, that something extremely dear to him was lost. It made sense for him then to treat the world outside his door just as cruelly as the world treated him: to ignore them and drown them out the same way he was drowned out by the mundane going-on's of everyday life when he was in pain.

Kise's backside had begun to feel numb and his right foot was beginning to tingle with the familiar feeling that came whenever the muscles would fall asleep while he was still conscious. He wanted to shift and shake his leg, kicking some life back into it, but he knew that would upend the moment. He held his posture, knowing that both Akashi and Haizaki probably felt the same, and he hoped that they would shift their positions soon, knowing that it wasn't his moment to make the first move.

Suddenly, Haizaki shifted. He had fallen quiet a short time ago, his sobs finally ceasing but his tears continuing silently. He moved now, raising his head and sniffing, then wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands.

"That- that dirtbag!" He began, pausing to inhale through his runny nose and swallow his hiccoughs. "I- I wrote to him- ev'ry day after he- he left."

Akashi shifted, sitting up straight and beginning to rub Haizaki's back in small, soothing circles. He remember that his mother would rub his back like this when he was a child and the motion always soothed him. He hoped that it would comfort Haizaki some.

"I wasn't even aware that you two were dating." Akashi admitted. "I'm so sorry, Shogo. That...I can imagine how painful that was to hear."

Haizaki sniffed and nodded. "That- that wasn't what I expected his return to be like." he confessed.

Kise fished in his pockets and pulled out a wrinkled tissue, reaching across Akashi to hand it to Haizaki. The thug took it and held it up for a second, tipping it to Kise in a manner that silently expressed his appreciation for the tissue, then blew his nose with it.

The tissue seemed to bring out the nurturing nature in Akashi that made him an excellent sports captain. "We should go inside." He stated, shifting and then standing up. He stretched his legs, arms, and back, and then unlocked the front door. "I can make us some late lunch. Shogo, you can clean up, and my father has some chocolate pudding we can have for dessert. I know it's not much, but chocolate is a good cure for sorrow."

The two other boys nodded and stood up, Kise holding out a hand for Haizaki to take as he rose to his feet, and the larger man nodded at him again in thanks. He didn't look up to meet Kise's gaze, keeping his head down as if he were ashamed. The trio took their shoes off as they entered the house and Akashi pointed out the washroom for Haizaki so the tall man could wash his face in the sink. Kise and Akashi headed to the kitchen, where the redhead put on an apron and began to chop vegetables and simmer them in a pan. Kise did his best to help, doing whatever small things he could and bringing Haizaki a tall glass of water when the man joined them in the kitchen. The thug took a seat at the kitchen table, staying out of their way and trying to keep himself from crying anymore.

"I'm really sorry about what happened, Haizaki." Kise began, sitting at the table across from his ex-comrade. "I didn't know you were with Nijimura either. At least, not in that way."

Haizaki snorted and shook his head slightly. "No one did. We didn't tell no one. And now I can see why he wouldn't have wanted to, wouldn't have wanted to tie himself down."

"I would have thought you never wanted to be tied down." Kise replied, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Not that I mean anything offensive by that, just that you still flirted with women. From what I heard."

Haizaki chuckled, "Women." He shook his head. "I flirted with a lot of ladies, yeah I know. But not that way, not for a relationship. I'd grab them and touch them in public, but it's all part of the scene, right?"

"So it was all just an act?"

"I wouldn't call it an act. But I was faithful to Shuzo, y'know? I never messed around on him with no other man, the way he went and tried to hit up that, whatever the fuck that boy was."

Kise tried not to smirk but he couldn't stop his lips from curving upwards. He gave Haizaki an apologetic look as he smiled, mumbling a "Yeah, Himuro isn't too well liked around here," so that the man would know he agreed with him on his opinion on Himuro.

Haizaki nodded and turned to glance at Akashi working on the stir fry and listening to their conversation with interest. He wasn't saying anything, glad that Kise and Haizaki were being civil, but it was obvious that he wasn't just standing by docile. If anything upset Haizaki, he was sure to step in.

"Did he ever give you the indication that he wanted...more?" Kise asked.

Haizaki shook his head, his eyes back on the table. He took a long sip of water from the glass Kise had given him and put it down rather heavily, as if his reality was distorted. "Never," he spoke in a low voice, gruff with emotions. "Not a single one. Not even in the beginning."

"When was the beginning?" Kise asked, "I'm not trying to pry-"

"No, it's alright, Ryooota. Since you all found out about it, I might as well tell you about it. It began all the way back in middle school, waaay before you came along." He pointed at Ryota across the table from him. "He'd beat me up 'cause I'd fuck up a lot, ya know? Skip practice, steal lunches, beat up kids for money, stupid shit."

"Like you do now?" Ryota asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling at Haizaki. He was trying to keep their conversation humourous, and it reminded him of their recent phone calls and how civilized they could actually be.

"Yeah, yeah. Stupid, stupid shit. Akashi knows all about it. Anyways, this one day he finds me at the arcade and brings me back to the school, but he doesn't beat me up… he just tells me to meet him in the locker room after practice when all the other boys 'ad gone home. So I went, thinking he wanted to challenge me to a fight or some'in, make it so I could cut myself a deal in exchange for an ass whooping. Anyways, I went in there not really knowing what to expect. He was just standing there, waitin' for me; I can still remember the look in his narrow eyes and the way his arms were folded across his chest. He had his shirt sleeves rolled up like he was ready for a fight, right? And he just grabbed me and slammed me into some lockers, real hard, hard enough for me to cry out. And then he kissed me, full force on the mouth. It knocked the wind out of me. I admit, I liked his abuse before, but it was nothing like this. I'm not some sicko that enjoys being raped or anything, but this- this was different. This was exhilarating! I hadn't even looked at Shuzo that way but once he showed me that side of him, I just...I couldn't get enough. He had this dark look in his eyes, as if he could see right into my soul, and then he closed his eyes and pushed his tongue inside my mouth and pulled my head back hard by my hair. It's not like I just let him do what he wanted, I tried to push him away even though I knew it was no use. He was rough, and quick, and he smacked me around a lot. He was bigger and stronger than me-"

"In the locker room?!" Kise asked, his voice shooting up a pitch higher in his surprise. "Like where we all changed?!"

"Yeah. Well, no, no! Not like that! We didn't do it that day. He just...teased me. He sent me home with a bloody lip from biting me and some bruises to remember him by. And to be honest, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I- Fuck man," Haizaki wiped the tears from his eyes. "I can't believe I spent all that time waiting for him to come home. I honestly let that fucker in...like in my heart! I was fuckin' _real_ with him! I thought he was different!"

Kise blushed and rubbed his hands together to burn off some energy. "Well, did you ever...with him? I shouldn't ask, but-"

Haizaki glared at Kise through his swollen eyes."Whaddya think, baaaka? That's why I'm so _fuckin'_ upset. Don't fuckin' look at me like that, Ryota; it was at his house. It was _always_ at his house. Fuck. Even my family doesn't fuckin' know about him, man!" The silver haired boy's eyes were red. "Why do you think I tried so hard with them women, man? Who do you think I was tryna to impress?"

Akashi came to place the pan of stir fry on the hot plate in the center of the table and rubbed Haizaki's back.

"Thanks man." Haizaki reached an arm around to hold Akashi close to him. "No wonder he didn't tell me he's coming back. He already moved the fuck on. He just fuckin' played me!" The break in Haizaki's voice was painful, even to strangers. He covered his face with his hands and sobbed, letting down all his walls again and simply giving into the feelings of betrayal and hurt. If the pain was something that Haizaki could have handled until he got home and could hide away for several days, he would. But the excitement of being so close to Nijimura again and then having heard he was so easily replaceable by any dark-haired cute boy in America was more than he could take. The raw emotions rolled off him in waves and Akashi stayed beside him, absorbing it all.

It wasn't until then that Kise realized how dark Akashi was, how truly fucked up he became. Standing side-by-side with Haizaki, having heard the way Nijimura had seduced the young thug, Kise was suddenly surprisingly aware of the core similarity that bonded Akashi and Haizaki together. Akashi wasn't your average teen boy with homosexual desires that he was tempted to explore and act out on. He was as fucked up as Haizaki was: turned on by passionate emotions and pain, aroused by the danger that they put themselves into by being with their romantic partners. It wasn't a simple BDMS relationship that allowed them to explore their kinks, fetishes, and sexual fantasies; Akashi and Haizaki wanted to have a threat of abuse in their relationship, an element of resistance that was bred out of a loving tease that provoked a violent yet still compassionate reaction. A relationship with someone that they could trust to walk that dark and twisted line of obsessive romance, to the point that their disobedience would cause a panic so great towards the thought of them being lost that their partner would become enraged towards them.

To love them was to receive their pain, but it was also to give them it. It wasn't at all what someone as kind as himself was able to understand, let alone fulfill. The changes he saw in Murasakibara, the beast that had been brought out by Akashi's darkness, was clearly a reflection of the pain that Akashi had etched into him; a pain that had molded him to be Akashi's perfect other half, one that would fully understand him and be able to give and take exactly the pain that Akashi needed.

Kise suddenly felt like he was invading on a very intimate moment between Akashi and Haizaki. He shouldn't be here, he should have never followed them. But if he didn't, if he left now, he would be betraying Murasakibara's friendship by simply abandoning him to his own anguish over Akashi. He would be just the same as the rest of those living on the other side of the metaphoric fence, leaving him to scream on the front porch wondering why no one could see him as they went on in their day-to-day lives. He reached into his pockets and breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the small plastic rectangle that was nestled there. He debated calling Atsushi and letting him know where they were, letting him know that he was feeling intrusive and that he wanted to leave. He needed the reassurance that he was doing the right thing by staying here.

But instead he took his hand out of his pocket and waited. Murasakibara hadn't called him yet. He wasn't even sure what was going on. He hoped that Murasakibara hadn't gotten into another fight with Himuro, and the thought that police would be anywhere near Murasakibara was another reason that he held off from calling him. He couldn't risk reaching out to him, but he couldn't stand to stay in the same room as the affection and twisted couple that Akashi and Haizaki formed.

"C-can I...use your bathroom?" the blonde asked the redhead, hoping his shaking voice wouldn't betray him.

"Sure." Akashi replied, not even looking up at him from his gaze on Haizaki.

The blond stood and walked a small distance from them, pausing in the doorway to the hallway. He glanced back at them, his hand on the doorframe, and observed how they gazed silently into each others' eyes, as if there were having a deep conversation without the need to speak. He shivered, and smiled sympathetically, hoping that they wouldn't have been offended by his involuntary reaction to their interactions.

Neither of the men looked at him from the table, and Kise turned away to hide his expression of relief. He stepped down the hallway slowly, taking his time to find the bathroom in the Akashi family home. He would be able to give them a moment of privacy for whatever intimate conversation they would have, and he himself could use a minute alone to get himself into the right mindset to stay and support them both. He reached into his pocket for his phone, wishing reverently that it would ring. But his cell phone never rang. All was quiet.


	12. Surrounded in Your Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ratings: PG13  
> Warnings: Violence, Swearing  
> Genre: Angst, Romance, High School, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.
> 
> Also, the original characters developed in this story are that of the author's creation. They are not to be copied without written permission.

** Chapter 12 - Surrounded in Your Darkness: **

Wednesday, October 19th - Afternoon

 

 

When Kise returned from the bathroom, Akashi had filled three plates with white rice, vegetable stir fry, and honey-ginger chicken breasts. Kise realized that he missed the smell of his ex-captain's cooking, and was smiling as he came around the corner into the kitchen, following his nose.

"Akashicchi, this smells delightful! I've forgotten how appetizing your cooking is!"

Akashi smiled and reached out to place a hand on Haizaki's shoulder. "Thank you, Ryota." He replied politely, "I'm just sorry I didn't have any karrage, Haizaki. I know it's your favorite."

Haizaki blushed and smiled despite his sorrow. "It's alright, Akashi. You got me chicken, that's more than I could ask for."

"How about we eat then?" Akashi asked, sitting between his two friends at the table.

Kise settled in at the table as well, seating himself to Akashi's left, Haizaki already seated to Akashi's right. The trio picked up their cutlery as they thanked Akashi for the food, and then began to eat. Akashi watched them carefully, both out of habit and out of concern. Despite moving on to a new team, he wanted to make sure that his friends took care of their bodies, and that included chewing their food properly, eating slowly, and finishing off the carefully measured proportions he had served them.

Either out of good habit or remembrance of how Akashi would watch them eat while he was their captain, Haizaki and Kise stayed quiet and finished off their entire plates. Haizaki finished first, pushing his empty plate towards the center of the table and then leaning back in his chair. He was still upset, it was obvious that he wasn't past his breakdown yet, but his personality began to resurface again. The way he leaned in the chair and licked at his thumb made both Akashi and Kise smile with relief that he wasn't so depressed by Nijimura's indiscretion, more that he was in a state of trauma or shock. Kise finished as well and rose, taking Haizaki's plate with him to the sink.

Akashi waved Kise off, mentioning something about leaving them to soak in the sink so that he could put them in the dishwasher.

Haizaki rose as well then, mumbling something about being thirsty. Akashi informed him of the various drinks in the fridge, and Haizaki reached in and took out a cherry flavoured sports drink. Kise took a lemon flavoured one, and Haizaki took a blue one out at random and then gave Akashi his red one.

"We'll just all match our hair." he shrugged, tipping the bottom of his bottle in Kise's direction, silently attributing the idea to the blonde.

Kise smirked but didn't say anything in return. He wasn't sure if Haizaki was joking with him or picking fun at him, so he only smiled. Akashi stood up and cracked open his drink, taking a sip and then taking his empty plate to the sink. He ushered the boys into the living room to sit down in comfort, and then joined them.

"Should we have the pudding now?" He asked them.

Kise and Haizaki both declined. "In a little bit," Kise suggested, "Let us digest your meal first, Akashicchi." He pulled out his cell phone, checked that he had no notifications, and then quickly typed in a text message to Atsushi, letting him know that he was at Akashi's house.

Haizaki nodded and then reached out to take some of the tissues out of the box on the coffee table. He wiped his eyes and then looked upwards, trying not to cry anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut and muttered a 'go away, go away, go away,' as if to ward off his tears, but his eyes were still wet when he opened them again. He looked around for a distraction and his eyes settled on a shelf in the bookcase with many gold horse statues.

"Who races horses?" He asked, curious.

"I do." Akashi replied, licking his lower lip and then smiling.

"No way! You're a jockey?" Haizaki asked, turning to face Akashi, "I'd like to see you in those white pants."

Akashi rolled his eyes. "I wear brown," he replied, "But yeah. I am."

"How long have you been doing that?"

"Professionally?" Akashi shrugged, then stood up and headed to the shelf. "A few years now. I've been riding horses since I was five. My mother wanted me to take it up. She got me my first horse, Yukimaru. We basically grew up together." He picked up a small photograph of a pure white stallion in a simple silver frame and handed it to Haizaki.

Kise put his phone away and looked up in time to see Akashi hand Haizaki a photo of his horse. He recalled Akashi had been riding horses while at Teiko, but he didn't realize that he would have continued to participate in horse races.

"That's so cool!" Haizaki complimented. "So you still race, huh?" he asked, handing the frame back to Akashi.

Akashi nodded and turned to put the frame back. "Not as often, but I do." he replied, "It's hard; basketball is a sport where you are expected to bulk up, and being a jockey you want to be small."

"It's like motorcycle racing." Haizaki agreed. "Light and agile, but still strong enough to handle your vehicle."

"Exactly." Akashi agreed. "So it's a fine line for me, because I want both."

"So what are you planning to do professionally?"

Akashi raised an eyebrow. "Both." He repeated, as if that was obvious.

"No, I mean, after school, you know? When we graduate."

"Oh." Akashi sat back down, settling into the armchair closest to the kitchen. "I'm not sure yet." He confessed.

"Why's that?" Kise asked, "You're talented enough to pursue both."

Akashi smirked and smiled at Kise in appreciation. "I could, but that's difficult. Like I said, they don't have the same interests at heart. And if we go by talent I could pretty much do anything I wanted. I'm sure you both could relate, if you master how to apply your fast learning to any skill you see."

Haizaki and Kise nodded and looked around the room at each other. The realization dawned on both of them in the exact same moment that they were sitting in a room of incredibly gifted people, people able to shape whatever futures they desired – so long as that desire was over their own lives.

"Yeah," Kise agreed, "I see."

"I was considering a career in shogi." Akashi admitted, "But I feel I'll get bored of that too soon. My father would be proud, but...it's a quiet, domestic life. Not exciting like horse racing or basketball."

"What about acting?" Haizaki asked, "Or violin? You played that, right?"

"I thought about that." Akashi admitted, "But I want to use my body more than an instrument. Acting is nice, but my father would call it 'indecent.' I'd be showing my body and not using it, you know?"

Kise blushed, "What's wrong with that?" He asked.

Haizaki laughed, realizing that Akashi had indirectly insutled the blonde's modeling career.

Akashi blushed and gave Kise an apologetic smile. "I don't agree with my father, Haizaki is already aware of that. If I did, I wouldn't have either of you in the house." He attempted to joke. "But to pursue a career in that...would be familiar suicide. I wouldn't be able to come home, or call him. He would completely disown me."

"And how is that bad?" Haizaki asked, "I'm sorry, I don't have a father so...it's easy for me to question why even bothering with one."

Kise nodded, "Only child, only son of the family. That's a burden, I'd imagine."

Akashi only nodded. "What about you two, then?" He asked, "You seem pretty interested in the career discussion, Shogo. I admit it's surprising."

"I started thinking about it - won't be in high school forever, right? Or rather, hope I won't be." He chuckled weakly at his own joke. "I was looking into something that involved traveling actually." Haizaki replied, "I thought of flight attendant because you don't need to be all smart for that – it's pretty much being a waiter in the air. But I don't like the uniform."

"No way!" Kise protested, "I'd be stuck with you?!"

"What?!" Haizaki turned to face Kise, "You steal my sport, now you steal my job too?!"

"I'm pursuing a pilot's license." He admitted, "I'm studying for the written exam right now. It's...it's part of the reason I quit modeling recently."

Akashi laughed, finding the similarities between the two men darkly humourous. "You want to see the world too, huh?" He pressed Kise.

"And not be tied down." the blonde confessed. "I like seeing the world and spending time with my friends, but I also like not having to form really dependent connections. That time apart is as important as the time spent together, I really value it."

Haizaki rolled his eyes, "Imagine if we worked for the same flight." He laughed, "I'd spike all your tea."

Kise shot Haizaki a dirty look, "I'd barrel-roll the plane when you're in the toilet."

"Yeah? Well, I'll-"

"You both would do no such thing." Akashi lectured them, bringing their banter to an end. "But I'm curious, Ryota," he narrowed his heterochromic eyes and met his gaze steadily from across the room. "You say you value the time apart and the independence in relationships. So what has you following Atsushi all around Japan?"

Kise was in the middle of taking a sip of his sports drink when Akashi changed the subject on him. He swallowed loudly and sighed heavily, then placed the lid back on his drink.

"I haven't heard from Murasakicchi in several months." he began, his voice low and his gaze at the foot of the coffee table's leg. "I know you said it would be best if we didn't associate with each other when we all left Teiko, but – sports aside – I wanted to know how my friends were doing. Occasionally I'd hear from Midorimicchi or Kurokicchi. So when he first left for Akita, Murasakicchi still wrote to me. And called me. And slowly he began to...ignore me. It took him longer to reply to my emails, he stopped texting me. He'd only speak on the phone if I called him, and then he stopped answering my calls at all.

"After I stopped hearing from him, I started to listen for any news about him, tried to see if he was alright. He was a good friend of mine, even if he was on the other team, so I wanted to make sure he was doing alright. But I started hearing some stories that he had become rebellious. _D_ _ifferent_ , you know? So I was hesitant to talk to him again, a little afraid to reach out to him and all – you know, 'cause of what happened to his late older sister. A lot of the guys were talking about this Himuro guy whenever I brought up Murasakicchi, a pretty dark-haired guy from America that was on the Yosen basketball team, that he was a decent player and a cock tease. They mentioned wanting to experience homosexuality with him, but that he had turned them down as he was in a committed relationship with one of his teammates. Well, those rumours got worse, to the point that Himuro had started to tell everyone that he was dating Murasakicchi."

Kise paused and took another sip of his drink, feeling anxious as he realized Akashi and Haizaki were both unconsciously leaning towards him, absorbed in the drama that Murasakibara's life had become after middle school, and hung onto every word he said. He played with the lid of his drink, twisting it on and off his bottle between his fingers as he continued speaking,

"Out of the blue one day last week, Murasakicchi texted me in the morning. He didn't seem much different but he didn't seem to really have any emotion either. When I replied later in the morning when I was at school, he told me he was in class as well. I figured he needed time, you know? To adjust and get back into the flow of things. I figured that maybe he was dating Himuro – as I heard – and he was slowly getting over whatever it was that made him feel the need to withdraw from the world for a bit. I had a colleague that did that at work so I figured maybe Murasakicchi also needed a little bit of space?

"Anyways, he...he calls me later on Friday after school and tells me he needs my help. He doesn't explain very much, just that he was heading to Kyoto – and of course I know Akashicchi's school, Rakuzan, is there. So I ask him if he's planning on going to see Akashicchi and he begins to tell me all about this...complication, said there was some kind of mix up when he got to last see him. He was quick to get me off the phone, but I arranged to return to Tokyo Sunday night to meet him here Monday morning and then go with him to Kyoto to find Akashicchi. He was grounded so he wasn't allowed to go out on the weekend, so the plan was he would skip school Monday and his family wouldn't notice he left until he didn't come home. It all worked out well, I called him Sunday night to let him know I arrived and we talked a bit about school to take his mind off things. However, when we got to Kyoto we didn't find you, and he was a bit of a mess. So in the end we returned here because his eldest brother, Murasakibara-sempai-Fuji-san, found the note he left and came over to my house to make sure we were alright and Murasakicchi wasn't getting in more trouble.

"So to answer your question, I suppose the reason I'm following him around the entire country, Akashicchi, is because I do value his and your friendship and I don't want to see either of you hurt. If I could help support him in his little quest to find you and just _talk_ to you about whatever it is he feels he needs to tell you, then I will help him because that is what friends do. It doesn't bother me much to help him out. It would bother me – for example – if he wanted to talk to _me,_ so I can empathize with why you might be hesitant to talk to him, Akashicchi."

Kise heaved a sigh, as if all of this explanation was rather long and tiresome for him to explain. He knew he had mentioned a lot of it in passing to Akashi and Haizaki when he had been telling Nijimura about what him and the Murasaibara's were doing following Akashi to the airport, but he wanted to be clear in his response to Akashi and let him know that while he was here to help Murasakibara, he was also here as a friend to Akashi as well. And, at the very least, try to convince Akashi to give Murasakibara the chance to speak to him about the entire Murasakibara-Himuro miscommunication that started the entire problem between Murasakibara and Akashi in the first place.

"Ryota," Akashi addressed him, placing his hands palm-to-palm but pointing them sideways so it wasn't like he was praying. He looked upwards for a moment and inhaled, and both Kise and Haizaki knew that he was struggling to say what he wanted to while still maintaining his family's standards. "I appreciate that you are trying to help your friends, Atsushi and me. But, I really...don't think that there's anything for us to discuss. Atsushi is trying to hold on to this...childish thing we had in middle school. He's...he grew up, yeah, he's changed. But he's not...I don't think he's even into me in the way he says he is. He can be so much happier with that Himuro boy-"

"But he's not." Kise cut Akashi off. "He was never with Himuro."

"That's beside the point." Akashi replied, his crimson eyelashes fluttering for a moment as his eyes closed and shook his head. "I mean, whether it was really a rumour or not, it doesn't change how he feels about me."

"It _does_. He wants you. Enough to follow you to Kyoto, Akashicchi. He never moved on. He's always wanted you."

"Now _that,_ I know, isn't true." Akashi replied and sighed. "Ryota, I'm not discrediting you. But I know that Atsushi doesn't meant that. He never viewed me sexually when we were in middle school. I don't think he's even interested in me as a partner like that _now_. What's the point of dating if-"

Kise shook his head and closed his eyes. "He was, Akashicchi, he was." he exclaimed excitedly. "He..." He sighed and rolled his eyes, then bit his lower lip. "I shouldn't really be the one to tell you this, but...he told me that he didn't want to hurt you. He...he knew that he was going to leave for Akita around the time things should have began progressing to a more...intimate relationship, and he didn't have the heart to tell you just yet. He told me that he was surprised that you actually went out with him, so he didn't want to use you and...he didn't want to hurt you." Akashi opened his mouth to speak and Kise rushed on, saying the explanation in a more direct way than he wanted to, "He didn't want to sleep with you and move to Akita and have you head-over-heels in love with him and have to go long distance. He knew you valued the team and wanted to have all the miracles go head to head, so he didn't want to ruin your reputation as a captain or as a person. Imagine if someone were to find out and use that against you, you...sleeping with him and then being left behind? Having moved away?"

Akashi's expression faltered, falling from the look of disbelief and disagreement to one of understanding. Haizaki noticed and spoke up then, supporting Kise and Murasakibara's reasoning.

"That's why Shuzo and me didn't tell anyone about our relationship. It was safer in the end, for me, you know? You definitely don't want to be left in the state I was in, having slept with him and then he just goes off and disappears. You're left behind wondering what to do now. And that's if you're lucky enough to not have anyone find out about your relationship. Like, you gotta realize the only reason I wasn't seen as some kind of social reject or male-slut was because no one knew about my relationship with Shuzo. I don't have a bad reputation about it because I sacrificed a lot for that relationship, like having close friends of my own. If I got too close to anyone, they would eventually find out, and they would judge me for it. I even created a false image to parade around as, making all of you even believe that I was some womanizer, just to protect Shuzo and me from everyone's judgments.

"But it doesn't protect you really, when you've lost more than you've gained. When they leave and they're gone, and you don't have them anymore. And that image isn't going to follow _them_. It's going to follow _you_. Everyone's gonna judge _you_ because of it. Because you let them in, you let them attached themselves to you. You get seen as weak and dependent, not because of what you do with them, but because you did it and they were the one to leave you behind. You become a fool left waiting for them to return, and society will be harsh to you because of that. I don't blame Atsushi for trying to protect you if he knew you were both going to be on polar opposite sides of the country for three years."

Akashi sighed heavily and nodded, then stood up. "I know...that's a legitimate concern, and it _is_ thoughtful of him. You're right, Shogo, and Ryota; the image would have been bad to have. But isn't this also bad? This...obscene running around the country and...whatever the hell this is?"

"This is bad too." Haizaki agreed, rolling a shoulder as if to shrug, "But this is almost more understandable given Himuro really started it all."

Akashi and Kise both nodded, agreeing with Haizaki. It really was Himuro's fault that all of this even began since he began to spread a rumour in his pursuit for fame.

"What were you doing in Akita anyways, Akashicchi?" Kise suddenly asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he picked up the detail he hadn't noticed before. "I mean, I don't like him, but we can't simply put the blame entirely on Himuro for this cross-country adventure. If you hadn't run into Murasakibara at the train station, then he would have never thought he had a chance to explain himself to you in the first place."

Akashi blushed, but before he could answer Kise, the blonde's cell phone began to ring.

"Oh?" Kise gasped, then reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. "I'm sorry." he excused himself and stepped out of the room to take the call.

Before Haizaki or Akashi could speak, they heard Kise's voice rise in surprise, a wordless expression of confusion, before he came running back into the living room, his arms attempting to cover his face.

A dark-haired man followed him in, flying after him with his foot extended out and kicking Kise in the lower back. Kise stumbled forwards and fell on his hands, crying out in pain. Haizaki stood up in surprise and then laughed, finding the entire thing humourous.

"Excuse me?!" Akashi exclaimed, standing up as well. "What do you think you're doing?!"

The dark-haired man turned to face Akashi and blushed. "Ahh, my apologies, Akashi. I was angry at Kise for not informing me he would be missing practice for some time. I'm his basketball captain, Kasamatsu Yukio. I'm a third year at-"

"Kaijo high, yes, I'm familiar with you." Akashi nodded. "I simply meant what are you doing in my house and why are you beating up Kise, but you answered one of those. At least."

Kasamatsu snorted, finding Akashi's lack of compassion towards Kise amusing. "I heard he was in Tokyo so I assumed he was at his family's house. His mother informed me that he was out with friends, so I was searching for him when I ran into another Miracle."

As if on cue, Atsushi, Fuji, Nijimura, and Himuro entered. All of them had stepped out of their shoes and appeared exhausted. Atsushi's right hand was wrapped in a thick white cast from wrist to fingertips, a kind of permanent splint and his lavender irises were glazed over, as if he were heavily medicated.

Fuji seemed to ignore Haizaki and Akashi and came over to pick Kasamatsu up with ease, moving him away from Kise, before offering the blonde a hand to help him up.

Kise gratefully accepted it, blushing as he noticed Fuji gazing down at him with concern. "Thank you," he mumbled, "I'm fine."

Haizaki and Akashi gazed at the group that entered then shuffled to stand closer together. They appeared indifferent to their new company, finding a comfort in each other's presence as the very men they had run away from had rejoined their group. Neither of them seemed comfortable with their presence of their ex-boyfriends in the room, and they made no effort to show their discomfort towards Himuro being there. Pain had made them kindred spirits and they now held each other in an odd form of equality now, using that commonality to stand up against the men they didn't know how to react to quite yet.

Murasakibara Atsushi stepped forwards, his entire body seemingly taking him an extended effort to move. He appeared as though he was quite heavy or tired, and the dark circles under his eyes only emphasized how exhausted he probably was. His right arm was held in a sling around his neck, his hand wrapped up in a white cast all the way to below his wrist. His index and middle fingers were free of the medical wrapping, but his ring and last fingers were enveloped by the cast. He stepped away from the rest of the boys he arrived with, singling himself out as he approached Akashi and Haizaki, stopping when he was an arm's length from them.

"Aka-chin." He mumbled, his voice low and pleading, "I just...need to talk to you."

Despite his heavy breathing and quiet voice, the look of relief and happiness that appeared on Atsushi's face that came from standing in front of Akashi again was indescribable.

Akashi's breath was shaky, his body turned a quarter away from Atsushi so that he was standing on an angle to him. He appeared as if he was ready to run from the room himself, and Atsushi was smart enough not to advance any closer, afraid to push Akashi past his comfort level.

Atsushi licked his lips and looked at the floor for a moment, before he looked up and his wavering, sedated eyes suddenly seemed to focus firmly on Akashi's. "Are you really seeing someone else, Aka-chin?" he asked, rushing on before the redhead even had a chance to answer, "I know we didn't get to finish our conversation in Akita. And I know you might have heard that I was dating Muro-chin, but I never was! I was never interested in him! I didn't become this confident over a boy that I met only a few months ago! I became this aggressive, cocky, beast of a man because I can't bear to live my life without you!"

If Murasakibara Atsushi knew that he was being watched by the entire room, he didn't seem to care. He took a shy step forwards, wanting nothing more than to close the short distance between them, but remained frozen to the ground afterwards. He was captivated by the small man's heterochromic eyes, and suddenly – to him – the smaller man and himself were the only two beings in the world right now.

"I _love_ you, Seijuro! And I don't want to live without you! It's tearing me apart."

Akashi stared at Atsushi with his mouth open in shock for a long time. He said nothing, and despite his obvious surprise to Atsushi's confession, his face registered no other emotion. His expression and tone of voice were blank, void of any feeling, when he finally did reply.

"Atsushi," he began, "You...you nearly _killed_ that boy."

Atsushi shook his head, trying to keep himself from feeling overwhelmed.

"That could have been _me_!" Akashi emphasized.

"No!" Atsushi shouted, then realized he was allowing himself to spiral out of control because of his extreme emotions. "No. I'd never hurt you, Aka-chin." He forced himself to speak quieter, calmer, and with control as he looked up into Akashi's eyes in fear.

"But you would hurt – who? Who would you hurt?"

"I'm not _trying_ to hurt anyone, Aka-chin."

"But you did. You _hurt_ that boy, Atsushi! You lifted him off the ground by his _neck_!"

"I did! But I didn't mean it! Muro-chin, he just- he just pissed me off." He looked away, his voice faltering. He was trying his hardest to remain in control of himself but his panic was growing; panic that stemmed from the thought that he wouldn't be able to properly explain himself to Akashi, that he would lose him all over again because of another misunderstanding. He wanted to curl his hands into fists, but the cast was keeping him from moving his fingers too much. He bit his lower lip in frustration.

"So that's it then?" Himuro crossed the room and stood close to Atsushi. "That's it, you're done with me?"

"We were _never_ anything to begin with, Muro-chin." Atsushi glared. "Stop complicating things! Fuck! I..." He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling sore from the sling, the injury, the long walk, and the whirlwind trip from Akita to Kyoto to Tokyo. "I hung out with you on the team, and we walked around the school together at lunch. We kissed once or twice because you _forced_ yourself onto me! But I was _never_ interested, Muro-chin. I _told_ you that!"

"Don't play the victim!" Himuro snapped, "You kissed me back!"

A silence descended on the men in the Akashi family living room. Atsushi breathed heavily, trying to have some control of himself. Akashi and Fuji held their breath, fearing another violent outburst. Nijimura and Fuji walked around Atsushi on either side, coming to stand just behind him in the case they would have to restrain him.

The tall man seemed to understand their movements and held a hand out at his waist, tell them silently to give him a chance. "I got this." He murmured, "I'm in control."

"And you're worried _I'm_ dating someone else." Akashi rolled his eyes once the silence was broken, feeling like it was unfair that he was the only one on trial here for being so defensive.

"Bastard." Haizaki muttered under his breath.

"Is this _him_?" Atsushi pointed out Haizaki. "Is this who you're dating Aka-chin? Does he meet what you fall for?"

Akashi and Haizaki looked at each other, unsure of how to answer the purple titan.

"I fucking _love_ you, Akashi Seijuro." Murasakibara moaned, stressing his words as he took another step forward. He reached out and took Akashi's hand in his only uninjured hand and got down on his right knee before the redhead. "I have loved you all this time. And yeah, sure, I tried to get over you. I thought that you might've wanted that. But I never did and I never could. It was stupid for me to even try. I've come to only serve one, and that one is you. I bow only to you."

Akashi could feel his barriers being torn down, one by one. In front of all of his friends he was slowly being tormented into the void of pleasure, the tease of pain. Atsushi was telling him all the things he wanted to hear to fall in love alongside all the things he needed to hear to know that Atsushi had fallen in love with him as well, to the dangerous point of obsession.

"So tell me, Aka-chin," Murasakibara began, breathing heavily, "Tell me if there's someone else that's making you happy right now. Because if there is, I won't hold it against you. I'll take the bittersweet memories we created and leave. I'll hold my peace and you won't ever have to see or hear from me again. I can...learn to live with the knowledge that someone else can make you happier than I did." Murasakibara's voice cracked and he buried his face in Akashi's hand.

Defeated and utterly spent, having run for days off of pure adrenaline, to finally have and hold Akashi – even if it was just his hand – Murasakibara Atsushi was exhausted. Still, he mustered up enough energy to stay on his knees before Akashi, waiting for the emperor's heavy verdict. Despite all the pain in his body, despite all the fatigue and pain medication the doctors at the hospital gave him to numb him down, he would rather die in this moment than let Akashi go.

The room fell silent once more. All homochromic eyes moved from Atsushi to Akashi, waiting for his decision.

Akashi was stunned, feeling too many emotions to process them all at once. He opened his mouth to speak and no sound came out. He was unable to lift his gaze and look around at his friends, an invisible weight – the weight of the crown Atsushi had titled him with – heavy on him.

"I-" Akashi stuttered, his voice low and quiet in the silent room. He felt as if his beating heart was projected for all to hear, the butterflies in his stomach about to fly up his throat and out his mouth at any moment. He couldn't take his hand out of Atsushi's firm grip even if he wanted to. He was frozen in fear and excitement, paralyzed by the thought of making the wrong choice, of saying the wrong thing. "I need time." he replied, and all at once he felt like he had gained control of himself again. Time – which seemed to have slowed down – resumed its natural speed, and he breathed in deeply once before continuing.

"I need more, Atsushi. We need...to talk." He exhaled shakily, then licked his lower lip. "I- There's-" he looked up and blinked several times, not understanding why he felt so hot and overwhelmed. "There is no one else. Honestly. I tried, when I moved to Kyoto, to find someone – anyone – a classmate, a teammate, a professor, a stranger on the road. I was out of my father's house and for the first time, I understood why everyone was so obsessed with dating in middle school. I understood the desire to have that intimate companionship. And I didn't understand why you threw it away in middle school when you seemed so eager to share everything with me."

Atsushi raised his head to meet Akashi's gaze, but he stayed on his knees. Despite the burning in his legs, he refused to rise until his emperor commanded him to. And yet the pain of his physical body hurting was nothing compared to the pain that he felt tear through his chest and split his heart in two when he heard that Akashi had tried to move on.

"That's too dangerous." he hissed, his mind taunting him with the image of a stranger – cold and faceless – tricking Akashi in sleeping with him, only to dump him a moment later, or exploit him for his status. "You could have gotten extremely hurt, Aka-chin!" He lectured him in a stern, quiet voice.

Akashi nodded. "It excited me. In a way that I never felt before. The danger was the part of the relationship we had that just wasn't there. But I couldn't leave the past without an answer. I never understood why you...didn't see that way. You didn't seem to want to love me the way everyone else was growing to love their dates. I'm not normal, I know that. I have messed up eyes, I'm short in a tall sport, I'm intelligent – yes – but it's a lonely place to be. I'm not saying I want to be normal, but it would be nice to not feel so lonely. Not be so singled out anymore.

"I wanted to come to Akita and see you, talk to you, maybe get some answers. But I heard that you had already moved on with one of your new teammates, so I...tried to forget. And I tried to tell myself that not everything in life will give me answers. There doesn't always need a reason for the plate to be broken, you know? It just will never be the same again, once it gains all those cracks.

"But I just couldn't let the past go. I couldn't understand how I – _me_ – wasn't good enough for you. You – who doted on me – preferred...someone else, someone new. I couldn't fathom it. So, once my mind felt it had run in circles until it had eventually run dry on the matter, I decided that I would put my mind to rest. Rumours were rumours, I wouldn't believe it until I saw it with my own, fucked-up eyes."

"So you came to Akita." Atsushi murmured, nodding. An understanding blossoming between them. The atmosphere began to feel charged with an energy that only a true love could form, an unshakable, unbreakable bond.

"Yes." Akashi confirmed, "That brought me to Akita. That was my business. But – I assume you could only imagine my surprise, having stepped off the train only to run directly into you. Or rather you into me."

Atsushi's lips curved up in a crooked smile. He had been drawn to Akashi the moment the man had entered the district.

"And yet you had no boy on your arm, no hickies on your neck. You wore no ring on your finger, no bracelet or necklace. You just...were taller, rugged. Dangerous, like Haizaki. And to be honest, that danger was attractive. That defiance that only was there to tease me, but underneath was so willing to submit, so yearning to be broken." Akashi narrowed his bright eyes as he spoke, a manic grin appearing on his face as he reviled in the thought of disciplining Atsushi. "And yet, I still wasn't sure.

"I decided it wasn't safe to talk to you about us. I didn't want to know any answers after seeing you so...different. I was afraid that you would tell me that you missed me, tell me all the things you would need to so I would believe you, only to find out you were double-crossing both me and your new boyfriend. So I told you I moved on. I didn't mean to hurt you, I never meant to upset you, but I needed a reason to protect myself from you if you had truly become as indecent as I heard you had."

Atsushi nodded, his lavender eyes filling with tears. But he wouldn't cry, he didn't allow them to spill. Understanding and gratefulness to finally obtain the truth kept him from becoming overwhelmed emotionally.

"And just when you wouldn't let the matter go, when I was at the limits of suppressing my own curiosity on what you had to say, that boy showed up. And I was afraid that my mind was right, that the truth was you stopped caring about me enough to play us both. And...then you were violent. And I never saw you that way. Even with the makeup and dark clothes, you were not violent to me, not that disturbed. To see you choking another boy, it made me realize that I slapped you earlier that day, I hit you and you could have easily snapped my neck. I already believed you moved on, you stopped caring, so it was easy to believe that you wouldn't hesitate to hurt me."

"Never!" Atsushi vowed, his eyes hard and firm and full of promise. "I would _never_ hurt you, Aka-chin. And that's why I didn't push our relationship before. That's why I was happy with how we were before. I knew I would be leaving, I knew Akita and Kyoto were so far away. And I never wanted to hurt you by being so far away. I never wanted to have you forced to choose between me and your sport. Or your school. Or your reputation. I only wanted to keep you _safe_ , and if keeping you safe meant ending our relationship, then I was prepared to do that."

A silence fell on their group once more. Akashi was breathing heavily, Atsushi was holding his breath. Kise found himself coming over to sit beside Haizaki, who was staring at Akashi the entire time. Fuji and Nijimura didn't relax their positions at Atsushi's side, not yet sure he was fully in control of himself, and Himuro hung back behind Nijimura, upset that he was so easily disregarded.

"I guess what's left to figure out is...are you gonna be together?" Kasamatsu broke in, his tone gentle but firm. "I mean, from what I heard, he chased you from Akita to Kyoto to here to straighten out this whole rumour ordeal and tell you that he loves you and couldn't move on. And you're here telling all of us that you went to Akita to find out if he was dating someone else, otherwise you wouldn't believe the rumours and would want to talk to him about your past relationship for closure. Given the fact that he's – in my opinion – proven to you by means of chasing you around the country and bringing countless close friends as witnesses that he _does,_ in fact, love you, and you have had the conversation now, I guess the only decision left is...are you gonna get back together or not? I mean, the guy broke his hand punching a tree over you!"

Atsushi blushed and chuckled, finding the way his injury was described amusing. Akashi glanced at Kasamatsu, then down at Atsushi, and the corners of his lips pulled up as well. And then he was laughing. He reached out and wrapped his arms around Atsushi's neck, hugging him close, both chuckling over the fact that Atsushi had indeed badly injured himself by a tree.

"Ahh, Aka-chin!" Atsushi murmured into his ear, holding the redhead close to his body and inhaling his spicy scent. "I waited so long to hold you again."


End file.
